"Um,hi." Maria said very quietly.

She saw that his face fell. She knew why. He had expected her to jump up and down and exclaim "Daddy!" and hug him. She couldn't do that, however. She did not know this man. He was a stranger to her.The feeling of emptiness returned to her. She wanted to feel something; depression, anger, anything! It was torture not feeling anything for her fellow human being. But she felt nothing and her greeting expressed that nothing. He was nothing to her as she had been nothing to him for all those years. She had become a hollow ball rolling aimlessly down a steep hill with nothing to cling to so that she would not fall. She was nine the last time she saw her father. She had spent eight long fatherless years living in the townhouse she shared with her mother. Joseph had changed dramatically in those eight years. Maria was astonished at the change. His hair was no longer dark brown but white. It was short now,and disheveled. He no longer had beautiful curly hair. His hair was wavy and straight. He had gained an enormous amount of weight and his face was swollen. He had been clean shaven the last time she saw him. He now had a rough looking beard and mustache. He wore glasses now,and his eyes were extremely dark. No light seemed to reflect in them.

The look in her father's eyes shot through Maria like a lightening bolt. She took a step backwards. The look brought her back to her dream, her memory. No, she must not remember. Contain it,Maria! Contain it, she told herself. She couldn't contain it. The memories began to stab at her like a farmer stabs a haystack. The dream came back to her, but only for a minute.

" Well,are you going to let me in?" Joseph asked in the doorway.

"Um,uh sure." Maria said stepping out of her father's way.

Maria looked at her father as she followed him upstairs. The sharp memory of his last rejection of her four years ago meant nothing to her. It meant nothing to him. Memories sparked no feeling in her,now. She just kept rolling down the hill faster and faster. The ride seemed harsh and bumpy.

They went into the living room and sat on the couch. Her father looked at her and smiled.

"You know you're looking more and more beautiful each day." He said.

" Um." She muttered. Faster and faster, harder and harder she rolled. Rolling, rolling.

" How are you?"

" Fine." There was no stopping her now. She was rolling at top speed.

Her father looked down at his feet and said, "Well I know today you're graduating from high-school and well...I will be attending your graduation."

Suddenly the ball stopped rolling and crashed bitterly against a tree! Crash! Slam! Ouch it hurts! There was a hole in the ball now and feelings were coming in by the dozen. Maria was furious.

" What do you mean you're going to be at my graduation?! You have no right to be there! And how do you know if I'm getting beautiful or not?! You have never seen me grow up!" She exclaimed. She had contained her anger for eight years and she did not see the need to contain it any longer. The explosion had occurred.

" I am going to see you graduate. Isn't this what you wanted? A father image?" He said with a wicked smile on his face.

" But why now?!" Maria demanded.

" It's an important day in your life."

" What about all the important days in my life that you have missed? What about all the times I needed someone to help me through my problems? Where were you then?" Maria said fighting the angry tears that were beginning to fall.

" What about them? I missed them."

" I tried so hard to have a relationship with you, and...and you didn't even try. You didn't even try. You have never even said you were sorry for all the pain you have caused me!" Fight the tears Maria, fight them, she told herself. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Fight! Fight!

" I have nothing to be sorry for. Anyway, I am going to see you graduate."

" No, you are not. I won't allow it. Get out of my house!" Maria exclaimed. She had fought. The tears were gone.

Her father stood up from the couch and looked at her. He began to laugh. "You know, you wear that crucifix around your neck, but it doesn't mean a damn thing."

Maria looked at him bewildered. He knew just how to get to her. You see, Maria's father had a reputation for being a "religious" man to those around him. Maria, however, knew the truth about him. He was a Pharisee, nothing more and nothing less.* She had made this conclusion on the very day he had told her mother that he couldn't be a father to her.

The image of her dream came back to her and she heard the laughing. Over the years Maria's greatest fear had become being like her father. Maria rubbed the ugly scars on her right arm left from the unforgettable night. She was so disgusted with the fact that her father had compared her to him. She did not want to act like him, think like him, or even look like him. To Maria, her father was an example of the cruelties in mankind and she did not want to be a part of it.

" Fine. Go see me graduate. I don't care!" She exclaimed. Had Maria been thinking clearly she would had known that she had just made her father's stubbornness and egotistical manners reflective in her response. Her father knew this and he left the house with a smile on his face. The storm Maria had called for came,and the serious lightening had not even begun to clearly spark.