monster

THE INTERNATIONAL CIA, BUSH CONSPIRACY

Watched the news lately? Apparently Iraq was not seeking uranium from Africa. People have been lied to, everyones pissed. But was this really Bush's fault? He wasnt lying to people, but delivering information, that was seemingly legitiment at the time. But we have to wonder: What would drive the CIA to do something like deliver falsehoods to the president? Maybe it doesnt stop at the CIA, maybe they were given false information from their people.
As Hooch's special news reporter, it is my duty to deliver the TRUTH to the public. And the truth is, that this string of lies can be traced back to one man, and one man alone. I use the term man loosely here. What the person should be called is a monster. This monster is solely reponsible for quite a bit wrong with this planet, and even a few others. I think we can all recall the mystery behind the disappearance of planet David, greatest planet of all time.
Well here's your answers, I present to you the biggest, most vile creature we have ever seen:

BARNEY: RUINING LIFE.

Don't tell me you didn't see this coming. Its written within our human instint to know that this thing is just plain wrong. Think about it; he's a seemingly big bundle of love, right? Then why is it that everyone has either a secret, or public hate for him? Wouldnt it be fun to just kill him? Why is it that we would have such unreasonble hate for this thing?
Ill tell you why, its in incrypted in our subconciense, NO, this goes beyond our subconciense - it's incrypted into our SOUL to hate such a profound evil. Somewhere deep inside of us, we have always known Barney is a tyrant.
But what is his master plan, you ask?

MONSTERS: IN THE CLASSROOM

Lets face it, people, Barney once lead a nation of children, and forever changed the industry that is childrens television. But Barney's popularity has gone down the drain. He has lost the power he once had oven children, who are in the most impressionable years of their life. He no longer leads an army of snot-nosed brats who are our future leaders. His plans have failed.
Well now its time for Plan B.
Taking monsters out of the closets, and into the classrooms. We're still in the transition stages, as of now. Notice any grisly looking teachers around? Any supply teacher who seems to have some sort of anger problem, odd shape, or just doesnt seem right? Theyre all half-monsters. Pawns used for the sole purpose of easing the transition. Before you know it all our future will be raised by hellspawn and all sorts of unsightly vile beasts from whence I shutter to imagine their origin. Children, whos logic will be that of a monster. Whos very thought process is to obey their true, and only master: BARNEY.
BUT WAIT, THERES MORE!!!

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