Where the hell is my Global Warming!?
Global Warming: The nature-related project launched in the mid 90�s to combat the next ice age. Experts around the world decided it would be best to begin a series of polluting campaigns in order to fend off this threat � most likely caused by the presence of asshole feminists.
What happened to Global Warming?! I�m scared for the future generations who have to live with this planet. Why should they have to be cold just because we couldn�t get our act together?!
Everyone join hands and start littering, do the Earth some good.
Follow this list of 5 easy steps to do daily to help the effort of Global Warming:
1: Litter in places you think hippies and tree-huggers stay away from. Some key spots to avoid would be the beach, or provincial parks. Remember, for every wrapper you throw on the ground; you not only help the cause, but will also feed a nice friendly seagull, or (if your lucky) kill a blood-thirsty dolphin.
2: Fight the system that promotes such cold climate. Knock over trashcans. Or if they�re plastic, just set them on fire.
3: Avoid bio-degradable material. If it can�t take nature, how is it supposed to last the use of us humans (Gods chosen animal)?! This is not only going to be the icy death of us, but it just poor product quality all together.
4: Clone the beavers. Natures wrecking ball of mass destruction is running short in population. We need more beavers, and we need them now. We need allies in this war of the Earth. Beavers can take it to the trees and release harmful carbon-related gasses into our atmosphere.
5: Repeat.
That should help. But feel free to go the extra mile in our war against winter.
Just remember; the Abominable Snowman can�t survive if we take out his natural habitat.