The film "Batman and Robin" has ruined my sex life, what should I do?
-Chis
My new movie "Gigli" caused more bowel movements than mexican food. What should I do?
Signed,
A piss-poor Actress
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| Advice Column 1 | ||||||
| Dear David, The film "Batman and Robin" has ruined my sex life, what should I do? -Chis |
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| Well, what you have to do first is come to the realiztion that you are not alone, and that many many people go have to experience what you're going through right now. In the industry we place the symptoms you have described under the ailment of "Crapimovieosis" which is often spread through heavy exposure to Suck. Although there is no known cure, it is heavily suggested you stay away anything containing a notable amount of Suck for at least six months. The symptoms of Crapimovieosis generally last several months. In order to prevent spreading the disease, it is a good idea NOT to warn people about the Suck in said movie, it will only make them curious. Other than that you can help ease your pain by conducting ritualistic sacrafices to Marriah Carrey, the Goddess of Suck. | ||||||
| Dear Dave, My new movie "Gigli" caused more bowel movements than mexican food. What should I do? Signed, A piss-poor Actress |
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| Well Jeniffer, my advice is go to hell. And stop calling me. | ||||||