Sage advice that everybody can use. If this actually helps, buy me a damn pizza...
#1: Git' Yo'self a Million Dollars!
'Here's the plan as it was told to me...
'Make or Save $1666.67 at month, or $416.68 a week, or $59.54 a day...
'For 12 (twelve) months...
'Do this for 50 (fifty) years...
'Then, you will have earned $1,000,000...
'Like, that's possible... right?
#2: How ta' live off a Million Dollars!
'Take yer' million dollars and put it in a savings account...
'With one of them fancy interest rates of 3.25% a year...
'Within a year, you will have earned $32,500 in interest...
'Take that interest money and put it in yer' checkin' account...
'Now you can go out to eat...
'Find a nice buffet...
#3: Well crap... how else am I gonna' save money?
If that fails to appeal to you try these...
First, Save Yourself $200 a year...
Stock Market Investment: At 11.99% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 56 years and 181 days.
Mutual Fund Investment: At 8.34% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 75 years and 126 days.
US Bonds Investment: At 7.86% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 78 years and 359 days.
Money Market Investment: At 4.48% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 123 years and 213 days.
CD's Investment: At 4.94% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 114 years and 125 days. Good luck there, Methuselah...
Checking Account Investment: At 3% interest, an annual investment of $200.00 will reach the $1,000,000 mark in 169 years and 269 days. Good luck there, Highlander...
#4: This don't make me feel any better... How else can I get a MILLION DOLLARS?
WIN THE LOTTERY - if you win a $1,000,000 lottery, the Gubment' takes 40% up front leaving you with about $600,000. Now, depending on what state you live in, they're gonna' want their cut, too - yank off another 25% and this leaves you with $450,000 of your $1,000,000. Now think about all those family and friends who suddenly appear out of nowhere because of all the publicity you got from winning the lottery and how much it will cost to keep them quiet... Sheesh...
ROB A BANK - I can't really recommend this, since it is after all, illegal and immoral . But since you're stupid enough to try it, you should know that most banks only have about $100,000 to $200,000 in cash on hand on any given day. You're better off with the lottery and your chances of not getting shot or killed in a police action are much less. Bonus!
SUE SOMEBODY - Well, sure... there a lots of people who most likely can be sued and quite a few folks who take pride in suing large, nameless companies. But, even these folks often don't even crack into the $250,000 catagory. Ha! I'll bet the lawyers are the ones who really clean up here... maybe you should,
BECOME A LAWYER - Oh Yea, these guys got it made... well, maybe if you're a really good lawyer... who is good with money... and doesn't get sued by a better lawyer... maybe...
#5: This is lame... what about my natural resources?
SELL YOUR BODY??? Since you are most likely to need most all of your vital organs, we'll start with some of the things you can spare...
Blood. Blood banks pay $20 for each plasma donation, usually a litttle more than a pint. A 90-minute procedure may be done two to three times per week, meaning about up to $3,000 per year.
($3000 a year, for 333.334 years will get you about $1,000,000)
Eggs. Some infertility clinics pay an average of $5,000 to $8,000 for egg donations, which can require many shots and several visits.
($16,000 a year, if you can donate your eggs twice a year, for 62.5 years will get you about $1,000,000)
Sperm. Sperm donors can be paid as much as $75 per visit.
($900 a year, if you can donate your sperm once a month [don't want to look like a freak, do you?], for 1112 years will get you about $1,000,000)
Hair. Wig-makers and doll shops are the biggest buyers. Some wig shops will pay $30 an ounce for good quality hair more than 16 inches long.
($120 a year, if you can donate your hair four times a year, for 8333.334 years will get you about $1,000,000)
Breast milk. A risky, burgeoning market at online auction sites and classified listings. Prices range from 25 cents an ounce to about $6 an ounce.
($192 a quart, if you get $6 an ounce for your excretion, for 5208.34 years will get you about $1,000,000)
Now if you can do all these things, you are a very scary person... But you can get $21,312.00 a year...
($21,312.00 a year, for 46.93 years will get you about $1,000,000)