Author: Nelle Donaghue

Title: Frank Thinks

Time setting:  Right after The Movie ends.

Disclaimer:  Characters used from "Homicide:  Life on the Street"
belong to Baltimore Pictures and NBC Productions and are
used without permission. This story may be copied or placed in
public domain so long as the authors original name and story remain intact.

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I slip into bed with Mary, holding her tight. She rolls over to face
me, and asks "What's wrong Frank?"

Mary has always been able to see through my lies.  I can't respond, so
I pull her tighter and close my eyes at the tears threatening to come.
Even though I didn't tell Bayliss, I have worried about Olivia and
Frank Jr.  Worried about them becoming another murder statistic, another
drug addict statistic.  I watched them for at least an hour after I got
home from the station.  I wished that I could take them far away from
here, and protect them from the evils of the world that I know all too
well are out there.

Tim means more to me then I will ever admit to anyone.  He stayed my
partner even after I repeatedly pushed him away.  He forced his way into
my life, stayed by my side during my stroke.  He was there during Frank
Jr's delivery reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.  And
I believed that everything was going to work out.  And I couldn't do
that for him when he was shot.  I couldn't stay at the hospital to be
there when he woke up; I had to investigate a fellow cop.  Shot jumping in
front of a bullet aimed at my head.  He saved my life, and I couldn't
absolve him of his sins tonight.   I couldn't take away his guilt. Oh
God, I wish I could take it away.  Take all of it away, from the time
when he was abused as a child, to his first murder to his confession
tonight.

I refused to turn him in tonight because I couldn't let him ruin
himself like that, although a part of me wanted to avenge Ryland, the low
lifed scum that he was.  My job centered on arresting the evil of the
world, and yet I couldn't turn Tim in.  The part that couldn't turn Tim in
won tonight.  I don't know if he will confess his sins to anyone else
tonight.

I hope not.

Traditionally, being a former officer of the law, does not bode well to
a long life expectancy in prison.  I know that if he did confess his
sins and gets killed in prison, I will wear my dress blues to his
funeral.   No matter that he killed a man in cold blood.  Tim was my partner
for six years.  He watched my back and taught the almighty Frank
Pembleton that there are shades of gray, and some good in this world.

The tears that I have been holding back since Tim's confession on the
rooftop start to fall as Mary strokes my back.  She knows that Gee was
killed; since it was on every news program tonight.  I don't know
whether she knows that my tears are for Tim telling me that he killed someone
in cold blood.

I stopped by a church on the way home for the first time in years and
lit a candle for him.  I confessed my own sin of omission to a priest.
Something I have not done for years, since before Tim came to Homicide,
looking lost and confused.

Adena Watson; hell of a break for a first case.  An 11 year old girl
brutally raped and murdered in a cold, rainy alley.  Even then he had
started to burrow under my skin, under the cold facade that I show the
world.  In contrast, My first murder was a simple dunker. A woman killed
her husband to stop him from beating her. Simple  and straight forward.
My first Box interrogation, and I got a confession.

Mary still rubs my back, making comforting noises. I cling to her like
a lifeline. She again asks me what's wrong, and this time I tell her.
The words come out in fits and starts, but finally she knows the full
truth.  From what happened in the Mahoney case to Tim's execution of
Luke Ryland.  She tells me that I did the right thing in not turning Tim
in, reminding me that he is a good man.  She tells me that what he did
was to  protect society.  Even though I know these things, it is nice to
hear someone else say them.

I yawn, as the long hours I put in the past couple days catch up to me.
I'll read the newspaper in the morning to find out if Tim succeeded in
finding someone to listen to his confession.  I hope that some of the
new detectives have at least some common sense and don't let Tim turn
himself in.  I force myself to remember and trust that we are all
Brothers in Arms, even if we have never known the other cop.  I won't know if
my trust has been betrayed until the morning.  Sleep comes slowly;  my
mind is still processing Tim's confession and Gee's death.  Finally I sleep.

Bio: I have been a fan of the show since mid-4th season and have watched it religiously since. Currently I am a college student studying for a major in English with a minor in Biology. What attracts me to the show are the realistic plots and characterizations. The characters are *human*!

Author's Notes: I would like to thank DEA for her read through and insightful comments, Lady Athena, Pseudo and Daisy for putting up with me going "Is it really all right?" repeatedly. You guys are the best!