Fat-Ass Bitch! By: Jungle Bunny T here�s nothing more depressing than going into the local grocery market and looking around at any woman over 35 years-old. Everyone one of them, chances are, is fat or ugly and I can�t help but think someday I�ll be married to that. It�s a horrible feeling in the pit of my gut and it pisses me off that these women can�t get off their lazy asses and walk up and down the street until they�ve burned off all the calories from those hamburgers they ate for lunch because Nick@Nite is pulling off another marathon of the Cosby Show. It doesn�t just stop there though because they�re passing it down to their children and I�ll be a horses ass if high school chicks aren�t getting fatter with each summer off. I just know that when school starts in a few months I�ll be the lucky student sitting behind some cow who happened to save that shirt from last year and gained an extra 30lbs., so now her thong shoots half-past her ass and is encroaching on the small of her back. I�ll try to stack my books a little higher and block out the view but it won�t matter because I still got those huge shoulders to look past. And to make matters worse scientist are supporting obesity with claims that genetics are involved, and society is accepting it. Fuck that! You�re just a fat ass and worse of all you�re dragging down the standards of everyone around because in fifteen years I won�t be able to find a girl my age who doesn�t out-weigh me by 50lbs.! Guess what? There�s a gene for alcoholism too! Maybe now you can drink your fat ass to sleep at night, kidding yourself that nothing�s wrong with your tremendous girth, and hopefully by midnight you�ll have died on vomit.
Just think of it this way... no man with ever want your fat ass so you might as well shed those pounds now! Maybe that way you�ll get laid or at the very least, kissed by the time you�re 27 without having to fool some drunk into making-out with you. You bunch of jack-asses... |