"BUZZ!"
Woman, "Hello, how can I help you?"
Me, "Umm... I�d like to visit for the day"
"Ok, and is it just you?"
"Yeah."
"Wait for the gate to clear, pull through, and the office will be on your left."

I pulled up to the office building and what looked like a garage (which later, I�d find out is where the pool and spa are). I checked in (where I received a bunch of pamphlets FULL of rules) , took off my clothing and began to explore the resort. There weren�t many places to go despite the large map I was given and not too many nudist were up at the early hour of 9am... so I wandered around. Rules stated in bold print that there was no cameras allowed on the property, so naturally I had to sneak one.

"But weren�t you nude? Where would you hide a camera?"
The idiots forced me to carry a towel around at all times... can you believe that? I just hid it in there... of course this reduced the quality of my photos since I risked being spotted every time I held the camera up to my face, but most turned out well.

The whole day I didn�t hang out with anyone. I just walked around by myself, swam in the pool, and relaxed in the spa area. I learned a lot about nudist, including that they are the most uptight group of people in the world. I�m not exaggerating. They have rules for everything and I do mean EVERYTHING. You can�t walk into a room without seeing a sign telling you not to do something and they give you 3 pamphlets that cover all of the resort rules. There�s even a map telling you where you can�t go because you might disturb other nudist... this cuts the actual places you can visit by about 70 percent. The nudist themselves don�t do much but sit around and talk. At noon they had an electric car race which lasted about 30 minutes then everyone went back to there campers. I almost had the entire place to myself.

There�s a lot of evidence pointing towards nudist being perverts too. For one, when they greet you they always size up your junk... a glance toward your penis, a look in your eye, and a firm handshake. 100% of the time. Secondly, they have an Overlook above the playground (the picture makes the two places look far away but in actuality they are very close).

Don�t go to a nudist resort thinking that there�s going to be hot tail there. There isn�t. In fact, the youngest person you�ll find at a traditional nudist resort will be around 40. I took a few pictures of people but the quality is extremely bad since I had to take them from the Overlook.

1) This is the owner of the resort and her husband. I was about to leave at the time and remembered what a bitch she was towards the beginning of my visit. She was actually the best looking woman there, even though I hate using the words "best looking" to describe her.

2) The youngest guy there (besides me) was in his later 20s. This is him. He won the electric car races and never crashed once, which was enough to earn my respect.

3) A fat man cooking food... you can�t actually see the smoke from his grill but it looked like his camper was on fire for about five minutes until he got everything under control. He was in the electric car races too, but sucked it up. I believe his car ran out of energy towards the end because he forgot to charge it all the way.

I stuck around until 5pm then left for home. It was about a 3 hour ride into Battle creek and I wanted to get home before dark. All in all this trip sucked ass... there�s nothing worse than walking around a highly wooded area with no clothes on. I left the resort feeling happy that the whole experience was over with and that I�d never have to return, but I can�t help think that other resorts might be better. I�m not going out of my way to find out any time soon but I do encourage other people to check them out. The people there don�t make you feel out of place and you�ll get used to being nude. Maybe if there were more people my age around I could have overlooked the bad qualities and had some fun, but since there wasn�t I�ll be doomed to having a bad point of view of all nudist resorts... oh well, I�m over it.

Q: "Why did you decide to visit a nudist resort in the first place?"
A: "The world of nudism is covered in a secretive veil of mystery which I hoped to uncover. Who exactly are these people, what are they doing, and why the hell are they naked... I had questions (just as my readers do) and I hoped to answer as many of them as possible."

Q: "Aren�t all nudist old, fat, and/or horribly ugly?"
A: "As far as I know... Yes."

Q: "Did you really go naked?"
A: "Park rules enforced a strict, �no clothing� rule and even I, Jungle Bunny, was subject to such laws. It was necessary for me to go along as far as I could to uncover everything about the nudist community. I delved into their world and as you know... it wasn�t pretty."

Q: "Did anyone talk to you?"
A: "A few people came up to me at the electric car races but I was mostly by myself. Many stuck to their own and hung around the campers, leaving the facilities (pool, spa, billiards) abandoned."

Q: "Did you go to Sunshine Gardens hoping to find some hot tail?"
A: "I knew in advance that there wasn�t going to be any hot girls there or even girls my age. Nudist resorts are mainly for old people trying to get away from their lives and maybe even socialize with other people with similar interests."