The people who work there suck my nuts. You see, most of McDonalds is composed of what I like to call "Lifers". These people will be at McDonald's until they are dead. Thus they are there for life. They have little to no idea that they could go out and get a better job for more pay. So they stay. These people being so set in their ways are very dedicated to their work. They will flip out over the littelest things and make sure the customer is always satisfied. Its good that they care, but its bad that they care too, It's just McDonald's and they should move on. These people are naturally good people, even though sometimes you'll run into the cross-eyed lady who works there, or the short lady who looks like Harry Potter but still these people are decent people who will work hard to make sure you're satisfied. These people are also very opinionated and like to talk about the Government. Even though they have no idea what they're saying. Remember when Columbia blew up? The first thing I heard from most of my lifer co-workers was "Goddamn Sadamm!" I tried explaining to these people that theres no way a weapon can hit something going that fast. Not even the good ol' USA has a weapon that can do that but they're stubborn I'll tell ya what.

Sometimes McDonald's comes up with the worst names for their burgers. This is not a Big and Tasty...
They try to make the sandwich look so big...

This my friends, is a Big and Tasty!
I love you Star...

I also think the mascot for McDonald's, Ronald McDonald doesn't connect with the brothers and sisters that eat there. I'm talking about the colored folk. We should have a character that lives in Ronald McDonald land that the African-American persuasion can really relate to. And no Hamburgular does not fit the bill. I'm talking about a sassy person with an attitude that hits you like a sack of bricks. But still has the class to help Ronald McDonald and the other people of Ronald McDonald land out when they need it. Hmmm thinking off the top of my head I think this new character would be a saucy black woman. She'd be a "hard as nails" detective that would crack down on Hamburgular and tell that scrub to get a job and stop stealing hamburgers! DAMN!!

And what the hell is Grimace? I get Ronald McDonald, he's a clown, Birdie is obviousily a bird and the Hamburgular is a scrub that needs to get a real job, but what the hell is Grimmace? Besides a total retard I have no idea how to classify him. Maybe he's a mutated grape from the Cold War Era or maybe he's a freaking fairy in a stupid purple costume. In either case it pisses me off. On second thought they shouldn't focus their advertising at kids at all. Kids are dumb. They should start selling beer and liquor. That'd make McDonald's an even more booming success. When people go into your average bar they order a beer and sometimes a cheeseburger. This cheeseburger would be no wear near as tasty as McDonald's cheeseburgers. Now if we made McDonald's into a bar that would bring 2 times the customers and get rid of the annoying brats that make me so angry. I'd still keep the play places though, because it would be hilarious seeing a drunk person play in one of those!

That brings up another interesting point, why doesn't our McDonald's have a play place? That would totally make it an awesome place to eat. And why don't they let kids our age in there? Nothing pisses me off more then adults saying I'm too grown up to do something. Thats a bunch of bull if I ever heard any. You're only too grown up to play in small tunnels if...
1) You'd get stuck
2) You'd throw your back out
or
3) You're claustrophobic.
I remember when we would go to a McDonald's with a play place. I'd be happier then a pig in mud. I'd totally kick off my shoes and jump in the ball tub and not eat my food. You know that makes me think of soemthing, if McDonalds let everyone into those play places there would be no fat people. Think about it, the reason why people are fat is because of fast food. And whats the largest fast food store in the world? That's right, McDonald's. Now if everyone was allowed into the play place then no one would eat their food and we'd loose so many calories playing around in the play place. I don't see why they don't put me in charge...geez.

McDonalds needs to stop trying to be all gourmet with their food. You see the new "Premium Salads"? Well before you stab your plastic fork into one of those crisp pieces of lettuce consider this. All that lettuce was probably grown in a lab and heavily doused with pesticides so that way McDonalds can sell them to you for 4 dollars. You're probably eating gallons of DDT the same stuff that nearly caused the American Bald Eagle to go extinct. Although I personally never made one of these salads I have seen them made. The lettuce comes from a box. For starters I don't trust anything that comes in a box, I'm even weary of opening a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The only way I could ever trust the freshness of a salad is if I grew the ingredients myself. Even then I'd have to watch the garden 24/7 just to make sure no one came by and urinated on it or something. The only people who care about fresh salads are vegetarian dykes! And we should get rid of those anyway.