| Argh ... |
 |
| Ahhh ... love ... what a wonderful feeling ... that one sensation that brings happiness and joy ... too bad I'll never experience it ... But the feeling after love ... heartbreak ... oh, what a familiar sensation. Tightening of the chest, GOUGING of the fragile heart, the overwhelming depression ... all too common for me ... |
| Eh? You've never had the misfortune of falling into one of love's pitfalls? You're either too young to understand it, too old to have any use for it, or too bitter to care anymore. Here is LOVE, broken down to its agonizing stages of pain: STAGE 1: The Happiness This is the start of love. Basically, you start talking, getting to know one another, and eventually, the feelings emerge. STAGE 2A: The Nervousness At this point, just being around that one person makes you all weird (no, this isn't the same as getting a boner, dumbass). Just seeing her smile at you can turn the harsh world into something of an utopia ... STAGE 2B: The Pain This stage doesn't always appear for everyone, but for some unknown reason, I always encounter this. The one you adore loves another. To counter the pain, you make up a fantasy life where your love's love doesn't exist. Too bad it's just a fantasy life ... STAGE 2C: The Relief If you experience STAGE 2B, then you'll hopefully see STAGE 2C. STAGE 2C is where you get an opening, due to relationship problems / the end of the relationship. The pain from STAGE 2B disappears, and replaces itself with relief. STAGE 3: The Will So you have an opening, perhaps your final chance at your wildest dreams. You gather the courage to ask the fateful question ... STAGE 4: The Rejection ... and then you get shot down like a defenseless bird in the sky. STAGE 4 can be broken down into further components ... STAGE 4A: Silence Your heart literally stops beating for a few minutes. You can hear each heartbreaking word she says as though they were the only things that mattered in the world. It feels as though a chill has entered your very soul, and you no longer know what to say. STAGE 4B: Numbness After you regain the ability to breathe, you try your best to force your legs to move. You stagger away from the girl, your legs as heavy as lead and your body as weak as glass. It takes all of your willpower to keep from falling to your knees, and to not look back ... STAGE 4C: Loss of Reality As you walk away, your perception of the real world becomes distorted. No longer do you care about the world. Everything is just a surrounding that you pass by, nothing registers in your mind. Your friends may wave to you, but you walk right pass them. Friends might talk to you, but you don't respond with anything other than a "yes", "no", or "...". STAGE 4D: The Breakdown So you manage to survive the day of the rejection, but fail to live through the night. All the emotions you kept bottled inside unleash themselves like a broken dam, relentless and uncontrollable. As your mind tries to comprehend the jumble of emotions you are feeling, your memories flash by, adding both happiness and pain. As you stare up into the ceiling, too broken to sleep, your brain never stops thinking. It wonders why this happened. It wonders if you should have even attempted it in the first place. It wonders if it was meant to be. It wonders if she ever even cared for you in the first place. It just keeps wondering ... STAGE 5: The Recovery There is no recovery. The experience imprints itself into your mind, becoming a constant reminder of the cruelty of life ... |
 |
| Thien |