ATexasFuneralReview

A Texas Funeral   REVIEW by RPcrazy (aka Anne B)

Starring : Chris Noth, Robert Patrick, Martin Sheen, Isaiah Washington, Joanne Whalley, Jane Adams, Grace Zabriskie, Olivia D'Abo and Quinton Jones As Little Sparta

Ratings - Alison helped me with these. Thanks Ali my fellow RP Bod Squad Siamese twin.

RP droolabilty    10, HK 97 is a 10 for the bod. This is a 10 for the gorgeous nature.
The shirt off factor, 0, He does look good in the white T and tight jeans.
Spine tingling looks, 10, Ali says, "He could look good in a Bozo the Clown costume and give me the shivers."
The gravely voice, 10, Ali says, "BIG TIME with the accent and all." I say, "Alright. Let's tickle them toes."
Presence in movie 10, Ali gives this a 10. As it's her fave RP flick.
Swear-o-meter   0 Not really - hmmm - rats!! Unless you count 'God damn' and 'Jesus' lol.

Synopsis

On the cover: "When it comes to family secrets, never say die. When Jeremiah Sparta (Martin Sheen) died, his family is forced to come together for his funeral, they're about to discover that a little part of it is still very much alive. A star-studded cast shines in this riveting tale of family secrets, greed and desire."

My Thoughts

I had high expectations of the movie before I received my DVD in the post. I'd read so many favourable reports especially about RP's performance. I must admit that on first viewing I didn't see what all the fuss was about but now I do. The final credits are running for the second time and I almost have a tear in my eye. How wonderful and heart-warming this movie is. All the characters have their endearing qualities that slowly become apparent throughout the story. Despite the secrets and white lies they all have hearts of pure gold.
As the movie comes to a close I'm almost sorry to see these characters go.
Can we please have 'A Texas Funeral 2' so I can see what happens next.
* Does Charlotte actually get pregnant and have a boy?
* Does Zach invest well on the stock market and make enough to buy a
Cadillac for the family?
* When Little Sparta grows up does he turn out like his dad?
* Will Miranda and Walter end up together?
* Will the Sparta sauce recipe be reproduced and sold for millions?
This sounds too much like a soap opera.
I haven't mentioned the religious theme here. I was brought up in the Baptist church too.

RP's involvement

Zach Whit would have to be one of RP's most lovable characters (The Only Thrill is close). He plays the 'macho dad with a sensitive son' role so well. He never loses his temper but he despairs over how his son will fair in the world if he cries over a 'worm for fishing bait'. The way he interacts with all is so heart-warming.
Our RP is not in every scene but as we get used to the characters this doesn't matter. He is present often enough for this movie to be a must for our RP movie collections.
He only has a couple of Doggett looks in this movie - the rest are true to his Zach character. We definitely know from this movie that RP is not Doggett. He is such a versatile actor.
* love his smiles
* look out for his melting body language,
* his facial expressions are spot on,
* the relationship between he and his cousin Clinton,
* love the RP Texan accent - he's so good at accents. Would love to hear him do an Aussie scrawl. I think I would die of apoplexy if he got it right. Do you agree Belinda (Agent X)?

Memorable RP Lines

Zach's fiddling with the car radio,
Mary-Joe (Zach's wife) "'God damn'! Is that a word you want our little Sparta to be sayin' Zach?
Zach - "Our son doesn't talk remember. Isn't that right little Sparta!'
Sparta - *silence*
Zach - 'See, we got ourselves a little mute boy."

Zach talking about his sensitive son after the rifle scene,
"He needs a hug from his mother to give him the courage to breathe. Sometimes it seems he's afraid of just about everything. All I wanted out of this life was a son I could take huntin' and fishin'"

Zach - "12? 12, my butt!"
Clinton - "Swear to God."
Zach - "I didn't do it till I was 16."
Clinton - "I feel sorry for you."

Zach - "Man spends the first part of their life learning to understand women and the second half trying to forgive (or was this 'forget'?) what he's learned."

Zach - "Oil wells may dry up but blood is forever."

Memorable scenes

* Zach teaching Little Sparta how to shoot a rifle.
* Zach and Clinton switch guns and Zach says, "Thankyou". It sounded so sweet.
* Reading the Will - Zach has his arm around Mary Joan and he gently pats his son on the shoulder. It really shows he loves son and wife. Oh - what a man. * weeps*
* The 'toe-tickling' scene.
* The girl fight.
* The camel scene near the end - no spoilers.
* The 'boxers' conversation - he's so wonderful * sighs *

DVD version extra

I don't know if the VHS version has this but my DVD has an interview with the cast and crew. The cast members talk about their views on the characters and scripts. RP impressed me with his thoughtful and intelligent answers to his feelings about the direction of the movie and he looks so hot!!

New Category
RP Fans' Opinions

"I like RP in it because he seemed so real and funny. He was so cute dialling the radio. The way they were talking about nipples and he told little Sparta to shut up because it was a funeral and he needed to respect. What he said about wanting a son to hunt and fish with.
The typical male toughness and then that kiss he gave his son. Him sitting in his underwear questioning himself. His conversations with his cousin and him promising not to tell about him living out of the car. His unconditional love of his sister. His acceptance of the black man as a friend. When he said oil wells may dry up but blood was forever and he gave his cousin a check. All those things that make a man good. Like all the things good that make Doggett attractive to me. I think southern manners play an important part of it." Poochespup

"This is an excellent show. Some parts are funny and some are kinda sad. Robert Patrick and Martin Sheen were great in this movie. I recommend it for anyone who loves Robert Patrick." Hailey

"What I really liked about the movie was his interaction with his wife and son ... particularly the son. At first, he comes off as a real old-fashioned southwesterner (makes the boy look at his dead grandfather, tries to teach the kid to shoot a gun, the usual stereotypes). But later in the film he shows you his caring, considerate side. He expresses his concern that the world will be too hard on his son, displays compassion for a down-on-his-luck relative, and wonders why his wife chose him when she could have married her pick of men. Despite the title, the movie itself as a quirky kind of humor.   Put in a nutshell, this is one of those films where RP shows his sweet side." Harrahgirl

"He looks at his friend's life and wishes he had what he had missing he had it all along and a lot more." Bikeho

"Robert was so convincing in this role. He looked so nice in the film and conveyed his character's insecurities and strengths so well. His interaction with the actor portraying his son was phenomenal as was his interaction with
Chris Noth. The film encompassed drama and comedy and was the perfect setting to showcase Robert's range and ability as an actor. It was a nice change to see Robert in a film that wasn't as "action" oriented. You get to see his funny sweet side. It is my hope that Robert will be able to show his lighter side on occasion in the upcoming season of TXF." Alison

*VGB* wow... I just watched "A Texas Funeral". My goodness, is that a great movie or what???!!!! He is always smiling, and laughing, I melted! and it was a good movie too! I LOVED it when his wife was biting his ear! *drooling*... I'd LOVE to do that..... Megfiles

End thoughts

A definite must for the Robert Patrick fan to view and add to the collection. He plays such a sweet character and demonstrates that he can play