"Can I have some brandy, please?", you say politely.
The whole pub quiets down. Everyone turn their eyes towards you. Koko pubi hiljenee ja kaikki kääntyvät katsomaan sinua. Agonizing, un-scottish silence last for half a minute, until someone bursts out:
"Thou art inklish!"
...and the pub-full of Scotmen nod their heads and look at you in a compassionate way.
Ok, this is enough, I leave this pub