As you can tell, my name is Cloud. Cloud Strife to be exact. If you aren't familiar with who I am, then go see Cloud's mind twists. Yup. So up above is my degree to answer question thingies. Yup, I'm certified by, um, MYSELF! YAY! I am here to answer all YOUR questions!
Discliamer: Whatever
advice Cloud give's you is not any advice, Holly, the owner of this site recommends. But if you must use it, then do so at your own risk.
This first one says: Hello. I have read your advice column for quite awhile now and I must say that I am a huge fan of yours. You have captured the imagination of 5 year olds and mystified the minds of 50 year olds with your �unique� wisdom. Well enough of that, I have a question of great importance. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
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This months questions!
Dear Dr. Cloud M.R.:
Interesting question. If the egg came first, then there would be no chickens because I would have made an omelet before it could hatch. If the chicken came first, there would be no eggs because I would have sold the chicken to the Colonel before it could lay an egg. If you go by Christianity, then the chicken came first, if by Darwinism, then the bacteria came first and magically morphed into an egg, and if you go by final fantasy-ism, then we all know chicken evolved from chocobo�s getting mako poisoning, although I think that mako poisoning would make them bigger.
Dr. Cloud!
Okay, okay, I need you to answer my question! How many roads must a man walk down before he can be called a man?
sincerily,
Confused
Dear confused. The number you are looking for is 17. You must walk down 17 different roads before you turn 13, or else you will stay a child forever like Peter Pan. But Peter Pan makes good Dollar Tree store quality candy, so don�t underestimate the Peter Pan in all of us.
Dear Dr. Cloud M.R.,
I have this really hot, nice, funny, caring boyfriend. What should I buy him for his birthday?
I can really tell you care about your boyfriend. But it sounds like you aren�t communicating well enough, and that�s a sign he doesn�t love you. This is what I suggest you do: First dump his ass like he�s never been dumped before. Next if he asks why say �because you are a slim ball�. ((make sure you dumped him on his b-day, it would be more magical)) If he tries to win you back, get a restraining order. And last, go out with me! Please I beg you! I can tell you�re a beautiful person just by your typing. Please, I�m desperate! I don�t even care if you weigh 300 pounds and have a big hairy wart on your face!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can make this work! I�m a D.R.!!!