Save me

I feel my wings have broken in your hands

I feel the words unspoken inside

And will pull you under

I would give you anything you want oh

You were all I wanted

All my dreams have fallen down

Crawling around

His eyes were red from weeping . His arms and legs were bruised and aching already , and he was longing to snuggle in his warm bed , with a fire blazing at the hearth , and his wounds medicated and bandaged .

He was tired and worn out .

He was alone ... and he was in pain .

“ I don’t need you anymore Ken .”

So coldly spoken after endless nights of passion ... after all the words of precious endearment .

“ I don’t want to see you again .”

Not even an explanation . Not even a hint . Only the bitter words so roughly tossed against him .

“ Please ... don’t ... Aya , I love you !” His heart bled , just as his wounds were , but Aya didn’t care .

“ That’s not enough anymore ... you’re not worth it” The wonderful violet eyes were so brilliant in their cruelty . No love , no emotion marked the depths ...

His world had shattered that night ... amidst the blood and the wounds and pain from the night’s mission , Aya had caused the world to fall apart .

***

The alley was cold and dark .

He was bleeding terribly , he knew . The target had gotten a lucky shot and he was losing blood fast . His shirt was already soaked with intermingling blood and sweat as he walked with effort through the deserted streets .

For a moment , he was overcome with exhaustion and he laid his head against the wall as he balanced himself with his uninjured arm .

But he couldn’t afford to wait . He was coming . And Ken didn’t want him to , because he knew that the moment he set eyes on that beautiful face , he would fall in love all over again ...

He gripped his wounded arm as he struggled through the darkness and the cold . The walls were tainted with blood as he leaned against them for support .

Before him , a small black kitten emerged from the gloom , eyes glowing , staring .

A woeful wail echoed through the alley as the tiny creature cried a long , sad yeowl as the wounded stranger fell on the ground , spent .

Somebody save me

With your own hands

Break right through me

Somebody save me

I don’t care how you do it
Just stay , stay , come on

I’ve been waiting for you

All his life , he had never been loved ...

All those years were spent alone . With many people ... and yet alone .

He had all kinds of friends . He was popular . He was famous .

After all , he had become the youngest J-Leaguer ever and he had been one of their best players ...

And then he was betrayed , and he had become a member of Weiß and he had borne the cross with the others .

But no one really loved him .

And then he met him .

Aya Fujimiya .

The man with the cold violet eyes .

For the first time , he had loved and thought that had been loved in return ; though never in public .

Aya was ashamed of their relationship .

He never wanted anyone to find out about them , but Ken loved him all the same .

He always cried himself to sleep after Aya spent all his fury and passion on him , never complaining even when the redhead hurt him in bed ... even when he woke up with his body aching terribly , even if his skin coloured with bruises from his lover’s cruel grip .

Because all his life ...

He had waited for someone to need him .

Just for someone to need him .

I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside

And will pull me under

I would give you anything you want oh

You were all I wanted

All my dreams have fallen down

Crawling around

The night was getting colder ; the wind was picking up pace even in the crowded maze of tall buildings .

He needed to find a place to rest ... someplace where Aya could never find him .

“ I love you Aya !”

“ You’re not worth it Ken ... not anymore .”

“ Please ... don’t do this to me .” His tears had tasted salty on his lips ... and he had ignored the pain his body screamed .

“ I don’t need you Ken . I never did need you .”

Somebody save me

With your own hands

Break right through me

Somebody save me

I don’t care how you do it Just stay , stay , come on
I’ve been waiting for you

Would Aya even come for him ?

He doubted it ... because he had just fooled himself all those months .

Aya never loved him ... Aya didn’t even care .

But still ... he couldn’t help but hope ...

Hope that even though he had said those words ... a part of him loved Ken enough to care ...

All my dreams are on the ground

Crawling around

But he won’t come ... he wouldn’t because ... Ken wasn’t worth it anymore . He had said so himself .

A tide of pain washed cruelly over the brunette , as the first shower of snow wafted down to the earth ... to whitewash all the sin with a blanket of renewal .

He had always dreamed of being loved ... but love couldn’t save him now .

Only Aya can ... but his love was just a lie .

Love was just a lie .

For the first time , he fell . The white cross , streaked with blood had weighed him down .[1]

Somebody save me

With your own hands

Break right through me
Somebody save me

I don’t care how you do it

Just stay , stay
I’ll make this whole world shine for you

Just stay , stay , come on

I’m still waiting for you

He was growing numb .

He no longer felt the pain , nor the cold , only the darkness enveloping him with welcoming arms .

The snow tasted good on his lips as his grey eyes dimmed .

He would wait for Aya ... even if he didn’t come , he would wait for him .

The glowing amber eyes grew neared as the creature approached him slowly , as if sensing a kin spirit .

“ Hello cat .” He stroked the sleek coat as he attempted a feeble smile , perspiration trickling down his temple despite the chill wind .

There was no reply , only the rough tongue licking his pale skin .

The snowfall was getting heaver . He needed to find shelter at once before he froze to death , unprotected .

He didn’t want to die like that ... he didn’t want to die helpless , because all his life , he always managed to fight back – even when it could cost him his life ...

... but could fight him ?

No , he didn’t even try to rouse the cold bastard’s senses . He only ran , escaped from those bitter eyes and the expressionless mask .

He tried to stagger to his feet , but in vain . His strength failed him and he fell to the ground heavily .

He laid his head against the wall , spent , as the cat rubbed against him gently , getting itself soaked in crimson blood .

“ St ... stay , cat . Please ... don’t ... leave me .”

“ Meowr ?” Intelligent amber orbs trained at him as feline lips seemed to smile in sympathy as the tiny form stroked tenderly against him .

Hot tears had already formed in his eyes . Even if the pain in his body was gone , even if he could no longer feel the hurt , his heart was shattered into thousands of pieces and he knew , he just knew that he was never going to love again ... not in this lifetime , not in the next .

It took all his might to nudge the small body onto his chest as he stroked the frail form with his bloody hand .

And sleep was taking over him , welcome sleep had come at last .

He closed his eyes gently as his arm fell on the frail creature heavily .

He would wait for Aya ... even if he didn’t come .
† † †

“ The body of a young boy was found in a deserted alleyway at the outskirts of the city with a gunshot wound in the arm . Apparently , the boy of about eighteen years old had bled to death even as a thick blanket of snow covered him .”

“ Strangely enough , a small cat was found with him , covered with blood and yet very much alive . Apparently , the young boy had saved the little creature from meeting a similar death . The identity of the young boy is yet to be determined ; but authorities say that he might be part of a known group that .... ”

There he was , curled under the crimson snow , his forehead creased in eternal pain , and yet his blue lips turned in a small private smile as his hands cupped the small body of the kitten protectively , till the end , he had protected the innocent , even if the cross he was carrying was dragging him down ...

He had died helplessly ...

... and yet , he had died waiting ...

for Aya ...

... who had not ... come ...

“ You’re not worth it Ken ... not anymore .”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

† † †

[1] White crosses and crosses in general are referred to figuratively .