Thanks to msn Harry Potter groups
for this fun info.
101 WAYS TO ANNOY SNAPE
This is just something funny the JFHPF members came up with! Thanks for contributing everyone!
1) Send Snape a black lab for Christmas
2) Tell him that is not illegal to wash your hair in England
3) Tell him that water and soap won't start your hair on fire
4) Spread a rumor that Snape wears pink underwear under his black clothes
5) Smuggle two purple beans in Snape's goblet! He'll get up and scream that he's seeing jungle animals everywhere!
6) Ask him to give Harry some help on a project
7) Have the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang complement him on the fine quality of his tatoo
8) Tell him that the reason Dumbledore won't let him have the D.A.D.A. job is because, quite frankly, he's an imcompetent fool!
9) Tell him that getting out into the sun won't make him melt
10) Ask him whether he got his crooked nose in a rough match of boxing!
11) Tell him shampoo isn't as rare as he thinks
12) A smile won't kill him/give him cancer
13) Ask him to get you a glass of water. When he comes back with the glass look at it and tell him that you dont drink tap water and then point him to the kitchen and ask him to give you some bottled water instead.
14) Talk and joke really loud in his Potions class and when he comes to take points off your House, spill the boil-potion you just had made on him. After that cover up your mouth with your hands and say 'oops'. It'll cost you, but it'll be worth it, just to see a big red boil on his nose... mwhahaha...
15) Enter his Office one day with a personal make-up assistant and offer to do him a make-over
16) Tell him he and Harry are related....
17) Tell him that wearing a cloak of a different color besides black won't kill him.
18) Tell him that cutting his hair won't turn him into a flobberworm.
19) Ask him all questions you can think of about Harry.
20) Get his wand and throw it into the Whomping Willow. When he asks you where it is tell him you don't know anything about it.
21) When wrapping a gift, ask him to put a finger on the ribbon so that you can make a bow around it
22) Go outside his bedroom at midnight and play a Britney Spears CD as blasting loud as you can... "Oops I did it again..." heh heh heh...
23) Ask him if you could use his cloak as window drapes... "Awwwww... but they would really block out the sun..."
24) Steal all his black clokes and exchange them for a perty shade of pink
25) Mix his shampoo, if he has any, with green hair dye... "That definately is your color Snape, I don't even know why you ever went with black!"
26) Send him to live with the Dursley's for a day
27) Add a bit of black permanent die to his food... "Professor Snape! Now your teeth match your wardrobe... how clever!!"
28) Set a whoopie cusion on his chair... "What have those elves been feeding to you! Beeno before....quiet after!"
29) Mix his cologne with a bit of dungbomb essence... "Oh Snape... What is that smell!!?? Parfume de dung??"
30) Send him one of fred and george's canary cream donuts... "tweet tweet"
31) Set of some fireworks under his chair... he'll think it's Voldemort trying to blast him into outerspace... "Happy Fourth of July Snape... heh heh....."
32) Take a picture of Neville's boggart, the one with Snape in Neville's grandmas dress and purse with a funny hat on, and paste them all over the school walls! "Look at those horried nails Professor Snape... you've been trying to claw those of the walls again, haven't you? Tisk tisk..."
33) Saw a leg of his chair, so when he sits down it collapses
34) Take a full grown male lobster make it very very mad and then put it in his pants when he is asleep
35) Come to class with a nerf gun and constantly shoot foam bullets at him, if he yells at you, throw a foam football at his head.
36) When he's sleeping, strap him onto a chandelier.
37) When he's not looking, grab him around the waste, pick him up and run out of the room screaming "There are... no MONKEYS!"
38) During class, suddenly look up and scream "Stop picking your nose sir! You're making me hungry!"
39) Tell him that Sirius Black has been pardoned and is taking over the Potions class.
40) Ask him if he has ever modeled before. Then when he askes you why say because, you heard that they're now going for experiance rather than looks!
41) Become his very own Colin Creevey!
"Can I take one more picture of your fabulous hair? *click click* This is good stuff!"
42) When he walks past scream and announce that there is a dead animal upon his head. When he glares at you apologize profoundly for mistaking his hair for a skunk.
43) Hide a mouse in the drawer of his desk and when he opens it see if he screams like a girl!
44) Write a poem about how wonderful Snape is, pass it around to your friends laughing like it's something really funny, then watch the weird expression on Snape's face when he takes it and reads it.
45) Fill up the dungeon with plastic pink ballons and flowers right before class starts
46) I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, oh i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes...
47) Or during class blow him kisses everytime he looks at you...
then when he accuses you.... embarass him with saying something like
"You only thought I blew you kisses because you like my butt!"
48) Hey Snapey you so fine...
you so fine you blow my mind...
hey Snapey....
hey hey hey Snapey....
49) Leave a truly sappy love letter on his desk -- signed Sirius Black. (Then be prepared to RUN. That gets TWO powerful wizards mad at you!)
50) Every time he looks at you start yelling, "NOOO, dont look at me...AARRGGHH!! my eyeballs just cracked!!"
51) Attach a sign to his back saying, "Don't you think im sexy?" and leave him wondering what everyone is laughing at.
52) Fill his room with balloons and chickens
53) Put a cardboard cut out of Harry in his bed.
54) Stuff a bra with cotton balls and magically put it on him in class
55) Send him chain letter after chain letter, all on the same topic
56) Put whoopy cusions in his shoes
57) Bewitch him so that he thinks he's invisible
58) Strand him on a deserted island with Ricky Martin
59) Shove miniature marshmallows up his nose and see how many he can sneeze out
60) Tell him to "Blow it out his mule" and let him figure it out
61) Dance naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea-cosy
62) Tell him that there is a muggle stalking him
63) Show him the little Lego figure of him
64) Give him a computer, see what he does
65) Ask him how big Voldemort's butt is
66) Sneak up behind him and give him...... an atomic wedgie!!!!
and we'll see his pink thong...*shudders*...i'm gonna have nightmares now....
67) Or tell him how much this guy --> reminds us of him.
68) Tape a sign to his back that says 'I love Harry Potter'
69) Send him Barbie
70) Send him Dobby
71) Follow him in the hall and when he asks what your doing you say:
"Trying to find your shampoo and sell it on the muggle Ebay! It is amarical! So greasy!"
72) Stare at him then say "I can see why you're still single!"
73) Say " It's amazing! You don't stink! But your hair is always greasy! How does that work?"
74) Creep into his room and steal his teddy
75) Tell him, "It's ok, everybody's beautiful on the inside."
76) Put a joke mirror on his desk that cracks whenever he looks in it (hmmm, now that might be a good item to add to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes).
77) Ask him if he lives in a portapotty?
78) Or get Fred and George to blow up one of the toilets for you and put that on his desk instead of his cauldron.
79) Smile at him.
80) Redecorate his office with pink banners and have little heart shaped balloons fly around his room.
81) Play Connect-the-dots with the spitballs that you put up during potions lessons...make the lines a bright pink so that it lights up the room.
82) In a sing-song voice say " I know something you dont know." and then grin at him
83) Ask him why Lupin, Sirius and James left him. After all, we all know that they were his best friends...
84) Make a reunion party for him and invite everyone that has ever hated him (aww... I'm bad.)
85) On Christmas, give him loads of candy and other sweets, plus an ornamental butterfly he can put in his hair.
86) Continue to stalk him and ask him all the time if he has ever been in love.
87) Make him adopt Harry.
88) Make the Durlsey's adopt SNAPE.
89) On April Fools, tell him that he can finally have the D.A.D.A. job and then yell "SUCKER!"
90) Magically paint his robes with all the colors of the rainbow.
91) Meet him in a dark and cold dungeon and then shine a light on him. Then ask him why he hasn't been melting yet, after all he must be a vampire...
92) while Snape is asleep, creep into his room and plait his hair...one big and a few little ones..see how many you can do before he notices it.
93) Sneak into Snapes room while he sleeps, put a feather over his mouth and watch it rise and fall with his taking in and out of breaths.
94) Tickle him with that feather, when he wakes up tell him that he snored and that you couldn't stand it any longer
95) Hide a Sneakoscope in his robes and see how many times he lies to students and teachers per day. And leave him wondering what's that strange and irritating sound that follows him all the time.
96) Send him an autographed picture of Harry for his birthday
97) Have Gilderoy Lockhart come visit him for Valentine's Day
98) Send him one of those annoying angels from Lockhart's Valentine Day and let him sing a song about Snape in front of a whole Potions class!
99) Send him a bunch of removable scar tatoos
100) Slip some polyjuice potion into his goblet that will change him into a fluffy pink bunny
101) Dress up like Voldemort, hide in the boy's bathroom behind the door and jump out at him when he enters.....that will get more than a startled girl scream out of him.....heh heh....then send him a pack of diapers the next day...or have Fred and George manage to steal a toilet for his room........heh heh........
Those are the 101 Ways To Annoy Severus Snape! Try them out and see if they work! ;-)
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