When asked about the subject Sean Howell had this to say, "Yeah I don't know if that's a good idea, Lamas and a dog. I think Lamas is about as responsible (with anything, in general) as Gimp is with an axe and/or flammable shit. He already can't take take care of FISH, his tank is all green and shit!"
I mean really, Some people just weren't meant to do certain things. I for one can't run long distance to save my life. But you don't see me trying out for a cross country team, do you??? Honestly, if he would put as much effort into taking care of a dog as he did the argument that he is not responsible enough to own a dog, there would be no problem, and the dog would live a great life. The problem is though that he is one of the laziest people alive. Sweet mother of crap people, a word of advice from me, if you know you're not good at something or there are all kinds of signs indicating that you shouldn't do something, for the love of all things sacred, DON'T FUCKING DO IT!
On a sidenote...Sean, anytime you want to challenge the title of "SYRUP CHUGGING CHAMPION" give me a call. As much as that 24 fluid ounces of maple-like(we bought the cheapest syrup Walmart had to offer) goodness(???) fucked up my stomach, there's no way in hell I'd let you hold the title without a adequate battle.
Well I write this section of the website still trying to recover from that wonderful time of year known as "spring break." This will go down as the greatest spring break to date in my young life, possibly the greatest spring break ever. The break began in good fashion with a party at the Samoan's house. I didn't drive to the party, unlike some people (see above). The following week included a couple nights of work (I really like cheez-its, I'm eating some right now) one of which included having to cook food for 4 nameless bastards that came in 10 minutes before I could have had the kitchen completely shut down (I still hooked three of them up with extra fried mozzarella, and curly fries, but not the 4th guy, because that crazy bastard ordered a buffalo chicken sandwich and how the hell do you hook a guy up with a buffalo chicken sandwich???) I later met up with them at walmart and watched the oldest of the group coughing out cinnamon while trying to swallow a teaspoon full of the horrid shit without taking a drink. Later we went to one of their houses for a night of reflection and giant sandwiches. Thursday included some of the usual and some choppin, no spring break would be right without choppin down a big fuckin tree. The real fun didn't begin til saturday though when a party at zach's turned into every guy's fantasy. Four girls making out topless. Seriously the best party I've ever been to. A huge ammount of thanks go out to Zach for that one. Hopefully we'll be able to replicate that feat in future endevours.
Well It's yet another great entry into my online journal, LUCKY YOU! As hard as I may try and make this weekend as much fun as last weekend, I really don't think that will happen. I told Zach that I'd make it happen even if I had to burn down a house. Well, oddly enough, Thursday night (when my weekend starts) the Samoan and I were drivin back from brandon and saw a trailer completely engulfed in flames. IT LOOKED FREAKIN' AWESOME! It may sound pretty sick to say that considering it was someone's life burning along with that trailer, but then again, I've never been a very sympathetic person. Anyway, I worked last night, which sucked balls. Even though I was first out (for those of you who have never worked at Beef O'Brady's in Plant City, first out is the guy who gets to leave first once business dies down enough to let one guy go and he has finished all his sidework). On a normal Friday night the first out guy will usually get to start his sidework at about 8:30 or 8:00 if he's lucky. Sometimes if the first out guy plays his cards just right, he never actually has to do any cooking. He can usually just get away with doing some prep work the whole time while occasionally jumping on the line to look at the tickets hanging there, but never actually doing anything to helpo get that food out. Anyway, Last night I didn't get to start my sidework until about 9:30, which really sucked ass because there were about 1,200 dishes to wash, and enough trash to be overflowing the two shopping carts we've stolen from Walmart and Kmart to the point that you couldn't even balance another bag of trash on top of the already unmanagable pile of garbage. Being the kickass worker that I am, I finished all of my sidework in 20 minutes, flew home, and took a shower. After the shower I met up with Vasu and Gimp and beat their sorry asses in a game of Scorched Earth. Sean came over after he got out of work and we made some napalm. For those of you who don't know how to make napalm and would like to, look it up somewhere because I don't want the FBI breaking down my door for having a recipe for napalm on my website and thinking I'm some kind of international terrorist or somethin. We put the napalm in an aluminum baking pan and set that mother ablaze. That shit got so freakin hot it lit the damn pan on fire! After that all burned away, someone found a golf ball and decided it was a good idea to wrap some napalm around the gold ball and light it up. One huge mistake we made was lighting this shit while it was sitting right next to the open container of gas. BOOM! The whole damn thing went up like it was nothin! Sean took off runnin thinkin that it was gonna blow up, but there was no pressure on it so it was just burning and Vasu started to throw water from the nearby faucet onto the flame using his hand, while there are at least 100 styrofoam cups sitting right next to him. The water was a bad idea, because it just started to help spread the fire. We needed some dirt to smother the fire. While all of this is going on, Gimp is standing there holding the charred pan containing the napalm covered golf ball, using the only shovel that vasu owns. Just as we decide we need to use that shovel to carry dirt to the fire, (for those of you who have never lit a golf ball on fire, apparently the jacket of a golf ball is under a great deal of pressure because of all the rubber inside) the golf ball blows up, and the rubber core goes flying across the driveway scaring the shit out of everyone (because honestly, who thinks a golf ball is gonna blow up, really???). So gimp drops the blackened pan and starts carrying dirt over to the container of gas, which is about to boil over spilling gas all over Vasu's driveway. Thankfully we got the blaze under control before anything terrible happened.
There are a few things in life that really piss me off, as many of you may already know. One of the things that pisses me off the most is when someone can't admit their faults. Fucking Lamas wants to get a dog for his appartment next year. Why the hell he wants a dog I have no idea, but I feel bad for this animal already. Most of you who know Lamas can attest to the fact that Lamas is one of the most irresponsible people in the history of the planet. Yet he insists he is responsible enough to take care of an animal that takes as much attention as a dog. This coming fromt he kid who didn't even graduate from high school with the rest of his class, yet had every opprotunity to do so (I mean really, he barely passed any of padgett's classes in 10th or 11th grade, did he think they would get easier in 12th???).
So I had to wake up earlier than I would have liked today. Well being woken up anytime before 3 PM usually pisses me off. Maybe I should start going to bed earlier? No, that's a stupid idea. Then I would miss out on all the fun stuff the night entails. There's a gigantic fucking truck parked in front of my driveway right now. I hate my redneck ass neighbors, their ignorant friends are so inconsiderate of the fact that any moment I might want to pull my car out of the driveway, and their oversized tires might be blocking my path. This kinda shit is why I hate stupid people, it's the subtle things they do to piss me off that they are completely oblivious to. Anyway, my sleep was interrupted because I had to take my sister to the airport, which I don't mind doing, but I just wish I had arisen from my slumber naturally instead of by some outside interference. So my beloved Red Wings got the piss beaten out of them last night.....HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, ONE TRUCK LEAVES, ANOTHER ONE PULLS IN IT'S PLACE. IT'S AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF IDIOCY! Anyway, the wings lost 8-6 to a bad team which makes me sad. but on the bright side, they had 67 shots on goal which is a good sign that their offense is firing on all cylinders. All then need to do now is get everyone back healthy and start playing solid defense and they should be fine for the playoffs. Well, I think it's time I go mow the lawn as to not disappoint my dear dear mother. Until next time, remember, If you drive an enmrmous truck and plan on visiting my neighbors, park in front of THEIR driveway not MINE!
Woke up a little after 7 today and proceeded to reset my alarm for noon. After laying in bed for about another 15 seconds, I realized I had class in 15 minutes and needed to get my ass out of bed. Upon first waking up I don't think people have the full capacity to think about their actions. If they did I wouldn't have almost slept through all my classes today, including....
fershizlmynizl45 (5:35:02 PM): aardvarks!!!
fershizlmynizl45 signed off at 5:35:05 PM.
That Sean is a crazy guy, he is! Anyway I very nearly could have slept through all my classes today inculding a test that I needed to do well on. By the time Psychology rolled around at 10:30, the 2 hours of sleep I was running on were wearing off fast. I fought off the temptation as best I could, but still ended up sleeping for the last 15 minutes of class. Has anyone ever seen K-1 fighting? It was on ESPN2 when I got back from class so I watched about 15 minutes of it before passing out. Man, that stuff is some hardcore shit! I suggest you check it out sometime.
T-Minus 15 hours til my psych test. I HAVE to get a good grade on this test or I'm screwed. I should probably start studying on it soon, but I really hate studying. I have studied for a test since like 8th grade Algebra. Watched some gay Charlie Chaplin movie tonight in Cinema Survey. Really glad that movies have speech in them nowadays. I guess I should get to studying so I don't fail this test.
I was awake at 7 AM again today. Next time I decide to sign up for a 7:30 class, someone needs to kick the living shit out of me for being such a moron. 7:30 classes SUCK ASS!! Geography was boring, as usual i struggled to stay awake in there but managed to pull it off. I didn't get done studying for my psych test (which I probably failed becuase half the shit on the test isn't covered in the lectures or in the book) til about 3:30 this morning so I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep, somehow I'm not tired. Criminal Justice class was boring as crap too, I found out my resting heard rate is 59 beats per minute. I wonder what it would be if I still played hockey regularly. T-Minus 14 days til I leave for Vegas. With my luck, the filght will get canceled, or even worse, hijacked and taken to cuba or somethin. I should probably find out where the St. Pete airport is since that's where the flight is leaving from and I've never been tehre before in my life. I think my brother and I have spent enough time on the "planning" aspect of the movie we're intending to make. "Cougarbear", a story about a creature the likes of which could never exist because of the difference in species. We should start writing the screenplay soon, maybe this summer. If this movie ever gets made, I'm positive it will go down in history as the crappiest piece of shit in the history of cinema. Not only because of the rediculous storyline and a probably budgett of less than $2000, but because my brother insists on throwing every off the wall idea he can come up with into the movie in some way. While walking back to my appartment from class today I had the nearly uncontrolable urge to blindside some Hawaiian kid running the opposite direction in the ribs with my shoulder. Not because I'm prejudiced to Hawaiians or for any reason like that, just because I thought at the time it would have been hysterical. I still think it would be funny to see that happen, but what the hell is the matter with me that I have these urges to tackle people at random for no reason other than he is running??? I had some spaghetti for lunch....it was a disaster. The noodles were cooked fine and I didn't burn any household appliances to the ground, but the sauce was way too chunky. I normally like my spaghetti sauce to be about the consistency of a thin soup. More like a red water than an actual tomato sauce. I, being the idiot that I am, purchased a jar of prego "robusto" pasta sauce. Robusto being Italian for "full bodied" or "chunky." This completely ruined my meal, all these gigantic chunks of tomato and onion floating around my noodles. Completely unnecessary to have that many chunks.
Last night was quite an adventure. It started out rather slow with Vasu and I going to Auto Zone to get a can of Caliper paint and an oil filter so we could repaint my brake calipers, red this time, and change his oil. What we didn't take into consideratino was the fact that it was about 7:30 outside and the sun was completely gone, so we had no light to work with and were forced to postpone this experiment til another date (probably tomorrow). Instead of doing somethin productive, we just waited til Sean and Gimp showed up and played some scorched earth. After Brent came by, we watched some watched some funny videos on ebaumsworld.com and waited for the Samoan to get his useless ass to Vasu's. When he finally showed up Sean, Vasu, the Samoan, and I went to see "Dawn of the Dead" and Brent and Gimp went to Applebees. The ride to the theater was about as nerve racking as a 20 minute drive can be. Whoever has ridden with Lamas, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. This kid is one of the most reckless drivers alive. Continuing the tradition of throwing one of the Samoans' burned cds out of his car whenever I ride in it with Sean, as soon as we got off the interstate I chucked one out into the middle of a retention pond on the side of 60.
fershizlmynizl45 (3:06:32 PM): ummmm...WOMBATS!!!!
fershizlmynizl45 signed off at 3:06:39 PM.
YES, WOMBATS INDEED!!! Anyway, as soon as Sean got into the car he found a burned cd, but the high speeds of Interstate travel wouldn't allow the cd to leave the windo, it would just blow it back in. This all goes back to the night of "3 chicken" when vasu and I chucked a combined 10 cds out of Lamas's car while waiting in line at a McDonald's drive thru (why the hell does McDonald's insist on spelling the word through t-h-r-u?? It's only making this country dumber than it already is.) I told Lamas i was just spitting out the window, and proceded to laugh about that too. Once we got to the theater, I had the good fortune of finding a little pink bouncy ball in the parking lot, which i proceded to dust off, and nail Lamas in the back with. He said he was gonna throw his keys at me unless I let him have a shot at me with the ball. Seeing the keys as more of a threat to me than a half inch diameter bouncy ball, I gave him the ball. For those of you who don't know, Lamas is an incredible athelete and can throw a ball as well as anyone. In case you couldn't pick it up through reading it, I was being sarcastic. THE DUDE MISSED ME WITH THE THROW FROM TEN FEET AWAY!!! Once we got into the theater and paid for our tickets, Lamas and Sean decided to get a couple of drinks. The girl who gave Lamas his Large Lemonade, proceded to spill it all over the counter and on the Samoan's feet. He was not very happy about this, but didn't make a scene. If it had happened to me, I'd have gotten a free popcorn out of it at least. This was funny to see, but it caused us to miss the first couple of minutes of the film just laughing at Lamas. The movie itself was horrible. The zombies were just stupid, the characters were almost even more stupid. I mean honestly, if I'm in a mall that may or may not be filled with blood thirsty zombies and I have to search around it to see if there are any zombies, there is no way in hell I'm going alone. Furthermore, when I think I've found a zombie in a closet in a sporting goods store, THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'D DROP A LEAD CROWBAR FOR A FUCKING CROQUET MALLET. It's a sporting goods store IDIOT! Look around for a bow and aarow set or somethin, or at very least an aluminum baseball bat. There were too many holes in the plot and too many stupid things going on that honestly, you would have to be a complete idiot to do. I mean really, Who drives a truck out into a parking lot full of zombies to chase after a damn dog???? This girl didn't even make that big of a fuss about it when her dad was turned into a zombie and killed. "Yeah, see you dad. I think I'll go cry in the sunglass hut or somethin. But good luck with that whole zombie thing." Sean and I now want to make our own movie in which turning into a zombie makes you super smart, and there's no way in hell the zombies can lose. The entire ride home was basically a great time to be anyone....except Lamas. It seems as though seeing that movie made him even dumber than he already was. Every time he opened his mouth, it was just another reason to crack on him. Some classic examples are as follows. When we got back to Vasu's house, Lamas pulled into the wrong driveway. I yelled at him, "you idiot!" His response, "alright fuck head!" Example number 2: while playing some more scorched earth after the movie, Lamas told me to buy "nuke." A nuke costs $12,000, a package of 3 baby nukes costs $10,000. I bought him 1 nuke, he got pissed, I said "man, you said buy me a 'nuke,' kinda like you told sean to buy you '3 chicken.'" We all had a good laugh at another reference to 3 chicken. Example number 3: Sean, Vasu, and I all called the "3 chicken" incident a classic. Lamas denied this only because it makes him look like a complete moron for only writing the words "3 chicken" down on a napkin and expecting Sean to know what the hell that means he wants at McDonalds. Sean bought 3 crispy mcchicken sandwiches, total price: nine dollars. Lamas was pissed because he wanted 3 spicy mcchicken sandwiches which would have cost only 3 dollars. For now I have to go to work. I need to get a different job. Beef's sucks ass and anyone who eats there on a regular basis (more than once in their life) is a complete idiot.
Work was super queer tonight. Not incredibly busy, but still just tedious. I the third guy to leave (or 3rd out, as we call it at Beef's). This meant that I had to stay and make sure that the closers didn't get hit with a late rush even thought here was nothing to do. It wasn't bad because I got paid for doing nothing for about an hour, but it was still a pain in the ass because I wanted to get the hell out of that death trap. This hot waittress that used to work there for awhile, but left, and now came back was workin tonight. I should try and run some game on her, but who am I kidding...I have no game. Absolutly pathetic. Not in the best of moods right now because I've realized what a loser I am. Until next time, remember, never eat at Beef's again....EVER!
I'm awake. Just ate a couple bowls of cereal. Honey Bunches of Oats, Honey Roasted flavor. For Having the word Honey in it's title twice, you'd figure there would be a little more honey in there than salt, partially hydrogenated vegitable oil, and whey. But no, you'd be wrong. Honey is the 17th ingredient lited on the box, behind all those others (which seem pretty insignificant when you read the name of the cereal) just to name a few. But then again, would anyone buy a cereal called "salty bunches of oats?" Probably not. It wasn't my first choice for cereal. In fact I wouldn't even buy it if it was up to me. But SOMEONE ate my cap'n crunch. Bastards! Last night was fairly uneventful. Played some more scorched earth at Vasu's. Killed everyone again. It's really not fair. And the chlorine-alcohol experiment didn't quite go as planned. In fact it didn't react at all. Not even a little fizz or a puff of some gas. Going back to the cereal, whose idea was it to put a bowl on the front of the box with milk being splashed out all over the place from it? The idea of milk all over when I pour the cereal into the bowl isn't exactly gonna make me want to buy the product. I mean really, who wants to have to clean up milk everytime they eat cereal? In addition to that thought, who wants to sit there eating cereal, with a picture of some white fluid exploding all over the place??? Not exactly the kinda thoughts you want to have running through your head as you bite into a spoonful.
Well work was super queer Saturday night. Wasn�t really all that busy, but it seemed to take forever to end. Gimp, Vasu, and Jimmy came by and Gimp didn�t finish all the wings he said he could eat�big surprise. I didn�t get a chance to write on Sunday, breaking my streak of 8 days straight with an entry. After work Saturday I went to Vasu�s and hung out there for a half hour with him, Sean, Jimmy, Jake, and Jenny. She found out the night before that it was, in fact, me that put Vaseline on her and Amanda�s windows in retaliation for them having put peanut butter, green beans, and instant mashed potatoes on my car a year earlier. She originally blamed Gimp because he brought something up about Vaseline on someone�s windows. I thought this was rather hysterical and couldn�t stop laughing at the fact that she had never even considered me as a suspect. She was pretty pissed to find out that I did that, but I doubt it will lead to them trying to get me back. I�ll be ready if she does. Next time it�s gonna stink.
I woke up at 11 AM after having a freaky dream in which a giant ham sandwich was trying to eat me. I tried to get back to sleep, but there was an incessant banging noise. I went outside to investigate and to my dismay, there were about 10 people climbing on my neighbor's roof nailing down tar paper. What a perfect time to have a new roof put on. right when I'm trying to get some much needed rest! I yelled a few obscenities (not really directed toward them, just in general at the situation), which I don't think they heard, or at least didn't acknowledge. I got back to sleep after about a half hour of that crap and woke up at 1:30. I would have liked to have gotten straight in my car and left, but I just didn't feel like putting on a pair of pants. I ended up wasting 3 hours before I got my shit together and got in a car. Again, leaving after 3 PM. about 15 minutes into the drive, I was already getting pissed. There was an old suburban with a trailer behind it turned around facing the flow of traffic with the trailer on it's side on the median sticking about 6 inches into a lane. Of course they closed off the left hand lane which slowed down traffic for about a mile and a half. The rest of my drive wasn't that bad. I wish I had a helicopter so i could avoid traffic altogether. Got here at about 5:15, just in time to catch the last 3 innings of the Cubs Angels game. The shirt I'm wearing a shirt that my brother game me some time ago for a christmas present. There's a funny story behind this though. Before he gave me the shirt, he showed it to me and said
"It's not bad," I said. I'd wear it." "OK, great, wrap it up for me," He said. Well about 2 weeks later on Christmas eve, my brother handed me a familiar looking package and told me to open it up. Sure enough the crafty bastard had made me wrap up my own present, without me knowing it. To this day anytime I wear the shirt it brings back memories of being tricked into wrapping my own gift.
Yeah, I just had a conversation with my fellow BDB brother Zach. We came up with a great idea. The following lines are parts of the conversation we just had.
DiabloZK (1:52:47 AM): well shit, i might have to talk sperry into a road trip
turbogoose87 (1:52:54 AM): hahahaha
turbogoose87 (1:52:55 AM): true
turbogoose87 (1:53:02 AM): i'll be there
turbogoose87 (1:53:05 AM): vasu will be there
turbogoose87 (1:53:16 AM): the fuckin samoan will go wherever people tell him
DiabloZK (1:53:19 AM): that's all we need when it really boils down to it
turbogoose87 (1:53:21 AM): we could have a shindig
turbogoose87 (1:53:44 AM): you're damn right
DiabloZK (1:53:51 AM): if we all get in on friday i might have and zach kirkland specialty shindig and mi casa
turbogoose87 (1:54:01 AM): YES!
turbogoose87 (1:54:06 AM): I LIKE THE IDEA!
DiabloZK (1:54:17 AM): it sounds like a good fucking plan to me
turbogoose87 (1:54:25 AM): i'll have to come over after work though
turbogoose87 (1:54:41 AM): but the party will still be goin i'm sure
DiabloZK (1:54:43 AM): dude the party won't start til you get there my friend
DiabloZK (1:54:51 AM): tomorrow i'll tell my boss that i've got to take care of some business in PC this weekend and we'll party like it's 19 mother fuckin 99
turbogoose87 (1:55:04 AM): FUCKING SWEET!
So there you have it. That's the plan for all who care to read this. Get in touch with a BDB brother for more details.
Well I just got news from Zach that Sperry put the Kibosh on the road trip and there is nothing going on this weekend. This is probably for the better because I would have more than likely spent alot of money on useless items and now I can save the money for something more important like a new TV or a digital camera so I can put even mroe "random pictures" on my site. I almost slept through my classes, yet again today. but I made it to my first class about 5 minutes late. I have a test in geography on Thursday, I've done pretty well on the first 2 classes so I'm not very worried about this one, but I should still study some because I forgot to do one of the webct assignments which will probably bring my average down a bit. I slept for about 3 and a half hours after classes were over today. I think I might go work out now.
Well, this will be the last post for the month of March, it's been quite an eventful month I'd say. I was woken up at around noon by the sounds of repetetive thuds and loud voices. The thuds were somewhat similar to the noises made by my neighbors roof being installed on Monday.