Well, it's been about 3 months since I last wrote anything so I figured, what the fuck, three months is long enough. That's right baby, I'm back. After many random thoughts running through my head all night long last night, i got the great idea (no seriously, it was a great idea) to read through some of my old journals so I read the entire month of June 2004. Damn, I've got to tell you, that was some interesting shit looking back at it. I found myself cracking up on several occasions. If only I hadn't alienated my loyal fans by taking a three month "vacation" from my ramblings. HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I'm sure alot of people missed this shit. Hell I think over the last three months I've actually had like 20-25 hits int he site, which considering nothing has been done to it over that time, really isn't that bad.
Anyway, I'm getting really sick of Walgreen's. Sadly, I'm still there. Today I found out that they're cutting back one of my scheduled days over the weekend which means I get to take a trip back home for like 4 days. I'll probably spend at least. I haven't been tot he gym in too logn a time. It's been like 2 weeks. I would have gone, but UCF has some stupid gay rule that If you're not "currently enrolled in classes," which because of them I'm not anymore, you can't use the gym unless you pay a 50 dollar fee. Insead I've been doing either 100 pull-ups or 250 push-ups every other night. It's better than nothing I figure. I certainly wouldn't want all of my last year's hard work going to waste on accound of these bastards.
The Foo Fighter's newest album In Your Honor Comes out a week from yesterday. I honestly can't wait until it's in my posession. I've never once bought an album before, but I think this will have to break that streak. Don't get me wrong, I own several albums, just none of them having been paid for. They were all either gifts, or I just found them somewhere. Either that or I pirated them from people... yeah, that's how it happens most of the time. What can I say, I just really like stealing music. Hope the feds don't catch onto me. Damn they're probably not gonna like that at all. In case they're wondering, my name is James Riggsbee and I go to the University of Florida in Gainseville, Florida. I'm also a big douche bag and a pathalogical liar.
Yeah, that'll throw them off. Anyway, I've got to do something this weekend. I know what I have to do, but the question is, will I actually go through with it? We'll have to find out later. Yes, WE, being me and the three people who will EVER see this. Sooner or later WE will indeed find out. Anyway, I've still got 75 pushups to do, so peace out, you hosers!
Yeah, so I'm back in Plant City for the weekend. Well, I probably won't spend much of it in Plant City, because lets face it, Plant City sucks ass. It's sucks more ass than most pool pumps do. If you got that allusion, bravo. If not, well then you suck. Today I went into Applebee's to talk to a lady about the guy I talked to last week. She said she'd talk to him tomorrow and give him my class schedule and that he'd call me. Hopefully he will and the conversation will go something like this.
PHONE RINGING
John: Hello?
Manager Dude: Hey, is this John Stevens?
John: Why yes, yes it is.
Manager Dude: This is Gary from Applebee's, I talked to you last week when you applied.
John: Oh, hey. How's it going?
Manager Dude: It's going great. You're hired!!!
John: Fantastic, when do I start?
Manager Dude: Right away!
John: Awesome, I'll be there Tuesday.
Yeah, if all goes to plan, it should go something like that. If that's the case my next call will be to Walgreen's...
PHONE RINGING
Whoever is at the counter:Thank you for calling Walgreen's, this is ------, how may I help you?
John: Let me talk to that Bitch Ms. Macek.
Whoever is at the counter:Uhhh, ok. One moment, Please.
Ms. Macek (that rancid bitch):This is Ms. Macek, how can I help you?
John: Hey Ms. Macek, it's John Stevens.
Ms. Macek (that stupid rancid bitch):Oh, hey John, what's up?
John: FUCK YOU!
Ms. Macek (that stupid ugly rancid bitch):Excuse me?!?!
John: FUUUUCK!! YOOOUUU!!
Ms. Macek (that stupid ugly bull dyke-ish rancid bitch):I don't like your tone sir.
John: GOOD!! CAUSE YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!! I HATE THAT STORE, I HATE YOU, AND I HATE WEARING THAT FUCKING VEST. SO YOU CAN CRAM IT, YOU FUCKING BULL DYKE. I'M NOT COMING IN TUESDAY, AND I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE THERE THINKS ABOUT IT. YOU CAN MAIL ME MY LAST PAYCHECK.
CLICK
Yeah, that's about how that conversation will go. Man, i'd love to just tell her off straight to her face, but it's not really worth the drive to Walgreen's for that. Should I ever win the lottery though, that's a whole different story. I'll instead wait until I go in to pick up my last paycheck to tell her off. I just won't call or go in until then. And to those of you who think I wouldn't collect my last paycheck if I won the lottery, you obviously don't know me very well. I don't care if the damn check is for $3.17, I'm going to get it. Especially if it were some ridiculously low ammount would I go in to collect it. That would just make it that much more priceless to tell her off while collecting my basically worthless check.
Speaking of Walgreen's, last night I think I really freaked a lady out. It was about 10:30 and I had been standing in the same spot for like three and a half hours, just scanning people's merchandise like some sort of specially trained ape, when this lady comes up with a cart full of useless shit and empty calories. Then she notices the "suggestive sales rack" which was crowding up the counter. It's called a suggestive sales rack because since it's crowding up the counter, I'm supposed to convince people to buy the shit which it holds. Of course I don't ever mention buying one of them to the people, why the hell should I? I mean hell, if I wanted to try and sell people shit they don't need, I'd go door to door selling stampede insurance or some shit like that. But back to our story...
So this lady notices the rack, just sitting there making it hard for anyone to set more than three things down on the ridiculously small counter, and she notices the boxes of Dove chocolate lover's cookies sitting there. They're on sale, two boxes for four dollars. The conversation started off innocently enough.
"Oooooh," she said. "I bet those are really good."
"Yeah," I half sarcastically replied. "Good enough to be on sale."
I said it with an akward enthusiasm, which should have made it seem as though they were infected with the Hanta Virus. She didn't seem to notice, or pay any attention to what I said. Picking up a box, she commented again on how they appeared. I think to myself: somewhere, in a gigantic house in the middle of a sprawling estate, the guy who designed the box which held these cookies is counting a big stack of money, laughing his ass off while beautiful women feed him something other than a cookie which he's gotten rich off of marketing.
"I bet they're really easy to get addicted to," she says.
I could see it in her eyes before I even opened my mouth. She had mistaken my sarcasm-laden enthusiasm for someone who actually cared what she had to say.
"Yeah," I answered. "Kinda like Heroin!"
Her tiny world had just collapsed in on itself like a neutron star. She quickly put the cookies down and the smile disappeared off of her face. I struggled to keep myself from laughing. My hollow smile had turned from one which had previously been forced upon myself to one of uncontrollable proportions. I don't think I could have stopped smiling then if I'd tried. It was really all I could do to keep from cracking up hysterically and really scaring the shit out of her. She quickly paid and left.
While on her way out I said my standard departing statement, "have a great night!"
She didn't even look back. I could tell her night had been just about ruined by a simple comment.
Yeah, so that's my story for the night. At the end of the night, when the monotony of Walgreen's starts to get inside your head, you're likely to go a little bit nuts and say something you probably shouldn't have said. The key to not getting a complaint registered against you though is to maintain a positive attitude, in which you feel you did absolutly nothing wrong. Most of the time the customer won't even say a thing afterward. Anyway, I've gotta get some sleep because I have to get up and mow the lawn tomorrow before it starts pouring like crazy again. You take it easy out there!
Yeah, there's nothing quite like sitting on the couch in your boxers leaching off of the neighbor's wireless internet because yours is down for some unexplained reason while you rock out to some Fenix*TX. It's been a pretty good day so far. I woke up much earlier than I would have liked, but still got some sleep, so I can't really complain. My first alarm went off at 10 AM and even though my phone was set to vibrate, I somehow woke up at the noise of it rattling around on the dresser. It sounded like machine gun fire in my dream. I thought I was under attack and jumped out of bed like a crazy asshole when I finally did wake up. It took me a few minutes to figure out what the hell was going on, but I finally calmed back down and tried to go back to sleep. After about 45 minutes of unsuccessfully laying in bed, I decided to get up and get a fresh start on the day.
It's really hard ton concentrate on one thought while I'm rockin to Fenix*TX because I keep singing along and it's just kinda hard to sing along and type other shit all at the same time. Anyway, Last night I went to Christina's house and watched saw, it was one of the crazies movies I've ever seen. I liked that it didn't have a happy ending though, because as with most things in life, there are rarely ever happy endings. Unless your name is Justin Costano, but that's a whole different, disgusting story. It was a good night though, made some s'mores. I hadn't had a s'more since I don't even know how long. I like spending time with Christina, she's alot of fun. At some point we're gonna go ice skating which will be alot of fun too. Man I wish I was ice skating right now. It's gotta be hotter than hell in here right now. I'm sittin here in my boxers steaming. Gotta be like 90 degrees or something. Way too hot.
Anyway, back to today. After I got up I decided to mow the lawn, since it wasn't yet raining and my mom had asked me to yesterday. It was a hell of alot easier to mow than the last time I tried to when my jackass neighbor turned his sprinklers on and I thought I was gonna have to cut his head off with a shovel. After the lawn and a quick shower I joined my mom at her office for some delicious publix ultimate subs. I had the ultimate with provolone, honey mustard, lettuce, a crap load banana peppers, and jalapenos. I really wish I hadn't eaten it all at lunch so I could have some for now, but what can I do? Anyway, I have yet to hear from any job I've applied for in the last month which is somewhat disheartening, especially since I already told Walgreen's I can only work one day a week, but hopefully something will come up for me. If there is such a thing as fate in this world, I know I'm fucked. It's as simple as that. I've done way too many bad things to ever warrant another good thing happening to me. Granted, I've had some pretty bad shit happen to me too, but I'm still gonna stay on the cautious side and say that I've got some more bad stuff coming my way. Well, I'm about out of stuff to ramble on about. You take it easy out there people. If you're bored, go get either Fenix*TX album and listen to it repeatedly. It'll do wonders for your psyche.
Well, it was a pretty good weekend. After a long period of doing nothing all day Friday, I went to my brother's place at about 3 AM Saturday and hung out with him for awhile. We went to sleep sometime after the sun was already up and then woke up around noonish. I sat around his place for a couple hours and then took off for Longboat Key. Spend most of Saturday and all day Sunday just loafing around and relaxing. Got a little more burned than I probably should have, but it was still a good weekend regardless. If only I didn't have to work today, I could have stayed an extra day.
Speaking of work, I still have yet to hear from any place I have applied in the last month and a half with the exception of the Bennigan's in Brandon, and that's only because I called the GM myself. Of course I didn't get hired there, which is really no surprize, because I'm only looking for summer work. I guess I should have applied there a little sooner. Oh well, shit happens. There are about ten million things I'd rather do with this week than work 5 straight days, but I really need the money so I'm kind of stuck. It's not a good feeling, being stuck that is. I could really use a streak of good luck right about now, I figure if there is such a thing as fate, I'm probably well overdue.
Right now I feel like such a schmuck, because I actually passed along one of those stupid emails that says "send this to 5 people and your wish will come true." I never pass those on, cause that's complete bullshit. Today I did, and it makes me sick. It's just gonna get my hopes up and then when nothing good happens, BAM! I'll be disappointed. Man, my head is all kinds of fucked up right now. I need to take awhile to just get it straight. Usually that would mean thinking about stuff and then what it really means, but I think my problem is that I think about shit way too much. It'd be nice if there was an on/off switch for my brain. I'd just shut it off for the next 9 hours and let my mind wander. By the time everything was straightened out, I'd be home from work. Anyway, I've gotta get ready for that crap hole. Peace out!
Right now I'm doing just about the worst thing I could possibly do for myself at 5 AM. I'm doing massive ammounts of push-ups simply for the reason that I haven't gone to a gym in like two months. I've done 8 sets of 25 so far and haven't really gotten very tired, so I figure once i get like 300 total I'll call it quits. It's probably a good idea. Today was one of the most boring days of work ever. Nothing even remotely exciting happened all night. People were commenting on how dead the place was too. Yeah, that's just what I need. Some customer reminding my of how boring my life has become.
After work I ate some pizza and chilled out for awhile as I drank about a gallon anf a half of water. That plus the half gallon I drank before work and I'd say I met the "8 glasses of water in a day" rule. I also made my semi-weekly visit to thefacebook and remodeled my information a little. Not that it really matters, because I'm sure the only person who gives a crap what it says is me. There's a new picture there too. It's a little lame, definately not my best choice, but my brother has most of the crazy pictures of me on his computer. I also don't wanna have a picture of me with a beer can in my hand on the facebook like a typical college douche bag, which pretty much rules out about 95% of the Weeki Wachee pictures, which is mostly what my "my pictures" folder consists of.
So the new picture is from the "Atlanta 2004" folder. I'm not even sure it really belongs in that folder, because I can clearly tell where the pictures from that trip begin and end, and that picture is nowhere in there logically, but nevertheless, it inspired me to come up with a way of going back to Atlanta to watch some baseball in a real stadium. For those of you who are unaware, Tropicana Field sucks ass. There's no atmosphere in that stadium and the closest real baseball field is Atlanta. That's right Cuba Jr., Joe Robbie, Pro Player, Dolphins Stadium, or whatever the hell they're calling that shit hole nowadays doesn't count as a baseball field either. The real reason I wanna go there though is for more pictures. Can't beat the shot of the bath tub full of ice and beer no more than a half hour after we checked in. Man, I emptied out 2 ice machines filling that tub. Anyway, I should probably take a shower and hit the sack.
The bad thing about drinking between one and one and a half gallons of water each day: you have to take a piss like every five freaking minutes. Seriously, I've gone to the bathroom about 12 times in the last hour. This is such an awesome song, it makes me wanna buy a three minute and twenty-eight second spot on the radio somewhere just so this song can get some radio exposure. I guess that's why I've declared it "My Official Theme Song." I sure hope I'm not breaking some sort of copyright law with that statement. I'd hate to be sued by the former Fenix*TX members for something as stupid as that. Damnit! The song's over, it's a pretty hard song to follow too, which means the next few songs are definately gonna get skipped.
So tonight was even more boring than last night at work. Except for the 10 or so returns I had, which suck because while I'm standing there waiting for a manager to come up this customer is just standing there glaring at me like I kicked his dog or something. It's just an overall awkward situation to be in, and as we all know, I'm not very good at dealing with awkward situations. When I really think about it, I should be great at dealing with awkward situations because they happen to me all the time. Yeah, so I really don't know what the deal is there.
So last night after I saved the entry I had just written I thought to myself "hey stupid, why don't you check out the stats for this month's journal.
I mean holy crap, I knew it wasn't incredibly popular, or even remotely popular for that matter. Ok, maybe popular isn't the best word to describe my website's ability to draw an audience. But still, I'd have figured at least one person would have come across that link in my profile and thought to his or herself "Hey, there's something that looks like it could kill 5-10 minutes." I mean holy crap, I've always said that the only REAL reason I do this is to just vent my thoughts, but if I didn't want anyone to read it, I'd write it on a roll of toilet paper and use it to wipe my ass after I got done writing it. Man, that's a great mental picture. Furthermore, Throughout the month of June in this the year 2005 the entrance to my site has logged a whopping 4 hits. I think it's pretty safe to say I could declare war on the governments of every country in the world here on my website and never piss off anyone, simply because it would never be seen.
Anyway, while at work tonight I had a rather long time to think about pretty much anything I wanted to, so I came up with a great idea. Instead of just calling Walgreen's and quitting should I ever win the lottery, I'm going to go in to work one day absolutly loaded. Finish off my last booze rocket in the parking lot, smash the bottle on my manager's hood, and walk in tanked off of my ass and clock in. Then I'll see how long I can harass the customers and how loud I can be before getting fired. I'll have to make sure to have a hidden camera somewhere on my body to record what happens, because god knows it's going to be a complete spectacle. Man, I wish I would win the lottery just so I could do something like that, not for the financial security, but more so for the new priviledges I would have.
I'm sick and tired of the crappy music the random play feature is selecting for me to hear, so I'm just gonna rock to some old ass Foo Fighters for the next while or so. I seriously think my hair has grown like an inch and a half in the last week or so. It's too the point where if I just glance up with my eyes I can see it. Soon enough it'll be to the point where I'll feel comfortable again, then a week later I'll have to get it cut. Really that's how it works. I get a haircut, hair looks alright for a week, three months go by, hair looks good for another week, I get another haircut. It's a fairly predictable cycle. Part of me wants to bleach my hair again when I get it cut, but the other, more sensable part says that's a VERY bad idea. Yeah, when it boils down to it, it really is a stupid, horrible idea.
Furthermore, I've gone onto the facebook for the second time in as many days, and keeping with previous tradition, I've also once again changed my picture. It kinda needed it though because that other picture was lame. I also created a group that has two purposes: 1) spreading the word about Orange County being a great movie and 2) letting people know that I hate my job. Anyway, I'm gonna go take piss now for the 15th time tonight. Rockin out to some badass Foo while takin a piss, what could be better than that?