Oh God, I was so worried when I turned to look at him, studying his face, I saw confusion, shock, and maybe a hint of real fear. I can�t blame him, I�m scared too. I�m terrified, how could I not be? I have an itty bitty little human growing inside a body part men aren�t supposed to have, growing inside me, I suddenly realize how much I now respect women, I�m going to have to do something super special for Julie when she gets back. But now I�m off track. I looked at him, studying his face closely, his grey/blue eyes were cloudy, and he wore a more troubled expression. I suddenly feel like I�ve just ruined both of our lives. �I�m sorry.� I whisper, feeling horrible through and through. He blinks, looking confused. �Sorry, for what?� I bow my head. Doesn�t he get it? I�m a freak. This is going to disrupt both of our lives in a huge way, he has his own kids to worry about, and he has a wife to take care of� �I�m some sort of freak. Men aren�t supposed to get pregnant, and I did�and�and now this is going to mess up our lives and� we both have families�� I feel the hot tears slide down my face, my heart hurts and I feel utter guilt, as if I had purposely done something badly and now regret it. I realize suddenly his hand is lifting my chin, making me look uncertainly into his beautiful eyes. �Kris, this isn�t your fault, this is some sort of bazaar miracle, think about it�you and I are going to have a kid, a product of our love for one another, proof that I love you�� I feel myself slowly falling into relief and joy, he�s happy about this�he still loves me�he doesn�t hold me responsible. �You want to keep it?� I ask, I�m still uncertain, he might not realize just what this means, it could mean me giving up my hockey career, it means a whole fucking lot� �I could never ask you to destroy something like this.� That�s it. I can�t believe someone this wonderful could ever want me, I can�t believe that I�m going to have the child of this perfect being. I begin to cry again. Shit. If I keep this up I could supply the world with a lifetime supply of saltwater. He looks concerned. �Kris, what�s wrong?� I bury my face in his shirt, trying to calm myself down. He wraps his arms around me, and I relax for a moment before pulling away. �I was so afraid you�d want me to get rid of it.� He smiles down at me, his beauty makes me dizzy. �Never.� I smile back at him, and then, suddenly, he grabs me by the waist and lifts me into the air. I gasp and look down at him. He brings me down into a kiss, and I press myself against him. It�s then I notice that I�m hard, he notices as well and pulls away, but to my pleasure keeps our lower bodies together. There�s a gorgeous smirk on his face and he leans down to nuzzle my neck before lifting me into his arms and carrying me into the bedroom.
February 28th
Kris�s POV
Darren and I have been snowed in for the past two days, our phoneline quit working yesterday and they haven�t been able to plow the streets because of the amount of snow, the television still works, and on the news they say that the powerlines will probably go out soon enough, but Darren and I are still fine. Darren called his wife on his cell phone, to make sure his family is okay, and Chris Chelios called us last night before the phone went out to make sure we were okay. He called all of the guys on the team to make sure everyone was alright, he told us that Kirk was worried about Darren and I and we should probably call him, we said we would, he said he still had to call Sergei and get the Russian to call Pavel and Dmitri, because when he had called he hadn�t been able to understand what Pavel had said. We laughed, thanked him for caring, and hung up, I had gone to call Kirk, and the phone died. Darren was recharging his phone so we decided we�d call Kirk later. Now Darren and I are sitting in front of the fire and listening to music, it peaceful. Darren has his hand on my stomach, and I�m leaning back against him. Suddenly he says to me �Kris, what are we going to name it?� This makes me laugh. �Darren, we don�t even know if it�s a boy or a girl.� He shrugs. �So?� He looks at me. I shrug back. �What are some names you like?� He settles back against the couch. �I don�t know.� That makes me laugh again, I close my eyes, resting against him, feeling sleepy. The music on my CD changes to the next song. �She�s a good girl, loves her Mama, loves Jesus, and America too, She�s a good girl, crazy about Elvis, loves horses, and her boyfriends too�it�s a long day, living in the cedar, there�s a freeway, running through the lawn�I�m a bad boy�I don�t even miss her, I�m a bad boy, for breaking her heart.� Darren�s singing along with the song, he�s in a band for a reason. Holy shit can he sing. As I sit here, thinking about Darren, I realize I feel like something is missing. I wiggle in his arms and turn to look up at him. �Darren.� He stops in midsong �I�m free, free falling�huh?� He asks tightening his grip on me. I know why I feel like something is wrong here. �I miss Kirk.� In truth I had sort of forgotten about the other man I love, I�ve been so upset and worried about the baby, and then I had been euphoric about Darren accepting the fact I was going to have his kid�I haven�t even thought about Kirk, but now I realize I really miss him, even though I don�t love him like I love Darren, I DO love him, and he loves Darren and I. �Yeah, I miss him too.� Darren is speaking softly. �We should call him.� I look at him for a moment, the swallow. �We have to tell him about the baby.� Darren gives a start, as if he�d forgotten that little factiod. �Shit.� I nod. �Dare�do you think he�ll be upset?� I�m nervous all over again, this is pure hell. I love Kirk, but I know he�s in love with Darren mostly, and when he finds out about Darren and I�hell�I can�t help but think he may get a little jealous, or might be a little hurt. Darren seems indecisive. �I�we�ll call him, but lets not tell him until this snow-in is over, that way we can tell him face to face.� That makes perfect sense to me, I don�t want Kirk to get horribly upset and neither Darren or I be there to calm him down. Darren lifts me off him gently and stands up to get his cell-phone. He climbs back onto the couch and dials Kirk�s number, then puts the phone on Speaker. �Hello?� Kirk�s voice comes over the line, a little crackly, but his voice none the less. �Hey Kirk, it�s Dare and Kris.� I say cheerfully, it�s great to hear my long-time friend�s voice. His voice perks up. �Hey Dare! Kris! Whats up?� Darren has a grin on his face. �We just called to say we love you.� Kirk lets out an exasperated sigh. �You guys are ridiculous.� I�m now smiling as well. �That�s why you love us though, right?� �One reason of many, yes.� He replies demurely. �That�s what we thought.� Darren returns, he�s still grinning smugly. �So how are you holding up Kirk?� I ask. He sighs. �It�s boring over here. My television died, my phone is dead, my cell phone and radio are the only things working.� Darren�s smirk grows wider, he almost looks as smug as Brett usually does. Crap, that means he�s going to say something that I�m going to have to hit him for. �Well, you could always listen to Kris and I have sex over the phone.� I hit him. �Dare!� Kirk laughs. �Nah, I�d feel too left out.� Darren sighed dramatically. �Well, if you really fell that way.� �Yeah that�s too bad.� I add on, but I�m secretly relieved Kirk isn�t into that sort of thing, because it would be too weird for me as well. There was a pause, then Kirk said �Hey guys, I have to go, but you�d better get your asses over here the minute this damn snow melts, because I don�t know how long I can last without you two.� I smile. �We�ll come over ASAP Malts.� He sounded like he was smiling too. �Good. I need to make myself some food, so, I gotta go. Love ya.� �Love you too.� Darren and I chorus back at him before hanging up.
March 3
Darren�s POV
The snow has finally started to melt, and the snowplows are managing to get through, so I�ll be leaving Kris�s house today, 8:00 at night at the latest. I have to go home for at least a day, then we both have to go visit Kirk as we promised. I love Kirk, I really do, and he�s hot as hell, but now that I know Kris is carrying my kid�I don�t know if this threesome thing is going to work�. I want it to. I can�t keep my hands off either of them, but�I can�t say whether Kris will want it to be a one on one committed relationship or if he�ll still want Kirk to be part of it all. As far as I know, Kris loves Kirk, as much as I do, and I know that they�re both as active with eachother as I am with each of them, but you can never tell what someone wants out of a relationship. I want Kirk to be part of the child�s life. I can only hope Kris will too. I open the front door. A blast of cool air hits me, and I look at the ground everything is mostly slush on the ground, slush that nearly comes up to my shins and is the color of winter skies, dark grey. I kick at the slush for a moment and then turn back to Kris. He�s standing behind me in the door, watching me with a little smile on his face. I turn around and go to him, stepping behind him and wrapping my arms around him from behind, my hands rest on his stomach, the stomach that�s holding my future child�our future child. He leans back and I have to kiss his irresistible pink lips. I think of Kirk, who I could hold like this just as easily, but not in the same way, somehow, it seems right that Kris is the one to have our kid, and not Kirk. I don�t know. It seems it just had to be this way. He seems to be reading my mind. �I love Kirk.� I look at him, a little surprised. �Me too.� �I want him to be part of this.� He�s looking at me with a little worry now, he wants to know if I agree. I do. I love Kirk. I want him to be part of this too. �Me too.� I repeat, and kiss him again. He smiles and pulls away from me, dislodging my hands that had remained resting on his stomach. �You need to get home to your other kids, you can�t stay around and babysit us all day.� I smile. He�s right, besides, I miss Griff and Emerson. He nods and I kiss him on the cheek before trudging out through the gross slush to get to my car.
Kirk�s POV
There�s something amiss. I can�t say what. I don�t know what, but I realized that Kris seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. What I mean is, I spoke to him and Dare, but I haven�t been with him in about three months. And we had a chance to be together just a few weeks ago, Darren and I went along without him, assuming he wasn�t feeling well. But�I love Kris. I feel the need to be with him, and soon, I hope him Dare get their butts over here quickly.
I remember when they first got together in 1997 I was happy for them. I was so wrapped up in winning the Stanley Cup I never thought about the possibility of me being lonely, I wasn�t lonely until the summer of 1998 after all the excitement of winning the Cup and everything had worn off, I realized how lonely I was. Darren and Kris had eachother, and were totally oblivious to me. Then, in 1999, Chris Chelios joined the team, and I fell head over heels for him. Who wouldn�t? He was beautiful, fit the old saying �tall dark and handsome� perfectly, was intelligent, friendly�I loved him. Apparently, he liked me too, he made a few advances towards me, I was too shocked to react in a way that would be considered good, and he thought I had rejected him. Then, in 2001 we got Brett Hull on the team, I finally told Chris how I felt for him, and, surprise, surprise, he was with Brett. They�ve known eachother for seventeen years. I was depressed, very depressed, I had gotten over Chris, realizing it obviously wasn�t meant to be, and it occurred to me, that I was in love with Darren and Kris, moreso Darren than Kris. But I loved them both, and it sucked, because they were committed to eachother. It seemed like everyone on the team had somebody else. Sergei even had Anna Kornikova. It was about then that Darren and Kris approached me. It seems they had both decided that they didn�t feel complete without me�they loved me as they loved eachother. Now it seems like we�ve been in this three-some relationship forever.
To be Continued.........
