Title: Loss and Gain
Author: Hockey_slasher19
Disclaimer:Don't own 'em. Not at all
Dedication: To Jessica and Melissa. Send her good thoughts people.
Rating: R thanks to Cujo's cursing.
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�Fuck this.� Cujo grunted, shoving his goalie mask up off his face roughly and nearly scraping his chin with the metal that resided at the bottom of his mask. He half expected Brett to start cursing and throwing things as he always did after a bad loss, but instead the blonde man just sat on a bench, looking defeated. Manny was sitting in the corner, not far from Curtis, staring down at his knee padding blankly. Sergei sat next to him, rubbing a bruise on his cheek and frowning at his skates. Curtis shook his head *I failed them all. I was supposed to be the next Dom, and instead I�m just� I�m just Curtis Joseph, the inconsistant goalie who couldn�t accomplish even two shut outs in a season with this team.* Fueled by the anger and self pity of his thoughts he pulled off his goalie padding, tossing it into his locker. The locker room was completely silent now, just quiet breathing.
Brendan came in, looking very, very upset. Kris glanced up at him, not saying anything. Brendan�s eyes narrowed. Curtis watched all of this closely, he had never seen how the Wings reacted to losing the cup, and even though he currently hated himself and his life, he found his was vaguely interested in what was going on. There was something in the look that the grind line was sharing with Brendan�. Then, suddenly, Sergei spoke up, his accent made heavy with sorrow. �Es� he�?� Brendan scowled, nodding. �Yes.� Curtis found himself confused and Nick frowned. �He�s�. again?� Brendan�s troubled face was Nick�s answer. �Blayt.� Sergei murmured in Russian to himself, looking down. �Should I go�?� Brendan cursed to himself as his shoulder pads ripped for the millionth time. �No. You know how he is. He won�t let anyone�� He trailed off. Suddenly, Manny�s face fell and he began to cry softly.
Curtis� heart went out to him immedently. He had always� liked Manny, and now because of his loss, the small man was crying. Sergei was rubbing his back in an instant, whispering to him. �Come on my little Emanuel. It is okay�.� Manny shook his head. �No! He only� He only does this when we� we did really badly! We were swept! And now we might lose Iggy, and you Sergs, and Darren and Jason and Luc�.� He wiped his eyes, all the guys looked away from him, wishing he hadn�t mentioned how much money they had lost, and who might not be part of their family next season. �And Steve knows it too! He only� only when he knows we might lose some of us.� Curtis was sincerely confused. What was Steve doing that everyone seemed to know about except him. Wait, not everyone knew. Henrik, Mathieu S, Dmitri, Pavel, and Jason all had looks of confusion on their features as well. He suppressed a sigh. Well, whatever was happening, all the new guys were left out. Finally, Pavel spoke up, breaking the silence that had followed after Manny�s sobs.
�I ask question.� He said softly, catching everyone�s attention. �Da?� Sergei asked him, trying to lure him back into his own language. Pavel wavered for a moment, trying to come up with the words. �What� captain do?� He managed. Sergei cleared his throat, looking at Brendan nervously. Brendan frowned, but not at Pavel. Sergei sighed. �He is� well� crying.� There was a resounding silence that made Curtis� ears ring. Pavel understood the words and sat down on the bench, hard. The silence was too intense. Dmitri was the only one who hadn�t understood what Sergei had said and finally he pulled on Pavel�s arm. �Shto?� Pavel explained quietly in Russian and Cujo felt like he might be sick. Steve Yzerman was crying. And apparently this wasn�t the first time, but it was the first time that it was his fault. �Where is he?� He heard himself ask suddenly. Brendan sent him a hard look. �Don�t bother him, he would hate to be seen�.� Brendan trailed off, unable to bring the word �Crying� to the sentence. It hurt him to see his lover hurting. Curtis shook his head, not knowing what to do. He wanted to� sit and cry too. This was terrible.
Everything seemed to be falling apart. After a few moments Manny stood up, half of his gear still on, and went into the lounge, wanting to be alone apparently. Curtis felt... like he was doomed. Everyone on the team would probably hate him now, he was a failure. He stood up as well, dropping his knee pads onto the floor and heading towards the lounge too. He found Manny, his gear all over the ground around him, curled up on the leather couch when his knees against his chest and his head resting on his knees. Curtis�s heart went out to him. The small man had always been fascinating to Curtis, and his playing skill had amazed him. Manny was really the one who deserved to be Star Goaltender. He knew how to stop almost every shot that came at him... Curtis realized with a small start that Manny was weeping. He cleared his throat a little, feeling awkward and embarrassed, and wanting nothing more than to go over and take Manny in his arms. Manny jumped when he heard the noise and looked over at Curtis with wide surprised blue eyes. Cujo looked at him, then went and sat next to him slowly, bowing his head. �I�m... sorry Manny.� He felt near tears himself. After all, HE had cost them the cup, not anyone else. Manny looked at him, and a small, (slightly bitter) smile came to his baby-cute face.
�Curtis, this isn�t the first time we�ve lost the cup. And it certainly wasn�t your fault. Did you look at Giguare�s padding? He�s... massive. None of our guys stood a chance at scoring. His padding is less than a quarter of an inch under the limit.� Cujo couldn�t help but smile at that. Manny was right, JS dwarfed anyone else on the ice with his size and padding. Manny�s voice cut through his thoughts.
�And... don�t worry about Steve.� His voice cracked, making Curtis look up to see the tears in his eyes. �This isn�t the first time he�s done it.� Curtis�s hand had the urge to reach up and wipe the silvery tears off Manny�s round cheeks, and instead he clenched his fist, looking down at it. �Yes but...� � �93, he cried until four in the morning in the equipment room. �94, he cried until three in the morning, same for ninety five. You aren�t the first goalie to lose a cup.� Curtis exhaled a sigh, it was a bit of a relief to know he this wasn�t the first time but... �I was supposed to be the wonder goalie, Dominik Fucking Hasek�s replacement, and instead...� �You�re nothing like Dom, but you�re amazing.� Curtis�s eyes shot up with surprise at the shy awe in Manny�s voice. The blonde man was blushing, his blue eyes cast downward on his hands. �I mean, you�re funny, and nice, and...� Manny cleared his throat. �...an amazing goalie. You have a different style than Dommi, but it�s a good style, I�d love to play like you one day.� Curtis felt his heart melt at Manny�s words, and now he did reach out, running his callused hand over Manny�s cheek and discovering it was as soft as he had imagined it would be. Manny looked up at him, his dark blue eyes wide, and Cujo couldn�t help it, staring at Manny�s full parted lips..... he leaned in brushing his own against the small man�s and allowing his hand to slide down, gripping his shoulder. Manny�s eyes slid shut and he leaned into the soft kiss, enjoying it. Cujo felt a tingle shoot through him at the contact and he slowly pulled away, looking at Manny with desire and fondness in his eyes. Manny blushed at that gaze, looking away.
�Curtis, I�ve always liked you a lot, and um, even though this isn�t exactly the happiest or most opportune moment to tell you, I um... really... like you and...� He was cut off by Cujo. �I really, REALLY like you too Manny.� Manny blinked at him, then shook his head. �We should have chosen a better time to tell eachother. The guys are miserable, and we�re sitting here grinning like idiots at eachother.� Curtis let out a quiet laugh, leaning in and kissing the tip of Manny�s nose, making the smaller man smile. �C�mon, lets go back, see if we can offer any comfort to any of the other guys.� He murmured, and took Manny�s hand, pulling him gently back towards the locker room.
At the same time they entered the room, Steve did. Curtis dropped Manny�s hand and regarded his Captain. Even though his eyes were red and slightly swollen from tears, his entire presence demanded respect. He stared at Curtis for several minutes, and there was a silence among the team. Then Curtis stepped foreward, until he and Steve were inches apart.
They embraced.
Steve patted his back, murmuring �Next year.� Curtis pulled away nodding. �We�ll make them eat our dust.� He stepped back, falling into place next to Manny, and Steve looked at all the defeated faces around him somberly. After several minutes, he spoke.
�Okay guys. We were swept.� Cujo winced and lowered his head, Manny squeezed his hand gently. Steve continued.
�We were swept, but we�ve been down before. This just wasn�t the year for us. We deserved the Cup, but so did the Ducks. They've never won it before, and they have good men who should have their name on that trophy. We�re going to get it next year. We just have to work hard. We weren�t playing to our full potential this year, we didn�t skate fast enough, and we didn�t score. We need to do better. We can do better, and we WILL do better.� He cleared his throat. �So come on, lets get dressed.� Curtis looked at him with wide eyes. He had always heard Steve Yzerman gave depressing speeches when they lost... or none at all. This certainly wasn�t what he expected. He glanced over at Manny, who was looking at him with a mixture of love and admiration�but then again, a lot of things were happening as of late that he didn�t expect.
He watched as Steve went and sat next to Brendan, who took his hand, and began to talk to him, and Darren, Kris and Kirk sat together, silent for the first time since he joined the team. Even with Manny�s reassurances, he felt like shit for losing the game. He didn�t notice as a tear rolled down his cheek, but Sergei did, and sauntered over, giving him a hug. After a few moments he felt another pair arms around him from behind, these ones he recognized as Kirk�s as soon as he saw the ring on his right hand. Another pair of arms went around him, and soon, the entire team, save for Shanny and Stevie, Nick and Igor, who were watching with smiles on their faces, were hugging Curtis in a huge group, trying to make him feel better as best they could. After a few moments, the group embrace broke up slowly, and Curtis was smiling, tears in his eyes still, but this time they were of gratitude. Looking around him at all the faces of the men who had been fighting so hard all year, to win, to make him feel at home, his eyes landed on his new love interest. He had lost the cup, but gained.... Manny. And now, he thought maybe.....
He was really going to enjoy being on this team
fin