This week, I'll be probing various religious themes and archetypes peppered throughout the intellectually stimulating, shockingly ironic, and nail-biting motion picture masterpiece that is Kill Bill, Quentin Tarantino's 4th film. I should first say that this review may or may not contain spoilers, depending on your definition. As you well know, I don�t think too much when I write ... or talk ... or work, or drive, or operate heavy machinery ... and therefore cannot guarantee that what you read will be devoid of certain movie-ruining facts. This section will be written, however, assuming that the reader has not yet seen the movie in question. I�m also not sure how much of this will be an actual review and how much will simply summarize the plot, so keep that in mind.
I�d also like to say that this was a very, very, very impressive movie and any sarcasm on my part is mainly for comedic value. Sure, there�s some flaws here and there, but where�s the fun in nitpicking unless you don�t really mean it?
If there�s one movie you should see this fall that involves guns, knives, samurai swords, boards with nails through them, steel balls attached to the ends of long chains, comatose rape, cranial metal plates, anime segue goodness, decapitations, scalpings, peoples� tongues being bitten off, Pussy Wagons, wise old Japanese sages, arguments over sake, emotionless four-year-olds, wiggling your big toe, enough blood to fill Lake Superior, guys named Buck, guys named Bill, and a gal named Go-Go, Kill Bill is it.
Kill Bill follows Mrs. *BLEEP*�s quest for revenge against those that murdered her and her family. Well, they made a valiant effort to murder her, anyway. They unfortunately failed, as she somehow survived a gunshot wound to the head, thus validating Colin Mochrie�s age-old adage: �When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling �em up in a carpet and burning it, you�d better make sure they�re dead.�
That reminds me: watch Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country before you venture out to see this film. There�s definitely a very small chance that you�ll be glad you did.
The movie starts with *BLEEP* going after one of several people on her Death List; that is, the second of five people that figured it might be fun to go on a massacre deep in the heart of Texas. I�m pleased with Quentin Tarantino�s decision to start the movie this way. It establishes and enforces the fact that you�re watching a good old kung-fu movie and that *BLEEP* knows a few moves. A decent karatay sequence with a blatant product placement by Kaboom cereal. I must say that I was a little disappointed with the dialogue in this sequence, though, as the conversation between Uma and her target went a little something like this:
�Fuck you, bitch.�
�You da bitch.�
�Why�d you kill me, bitch?�
�What�s done is done, bitch.�
�Bitch.�
�I beat bitches.�
�Bitch bichety-bitch-bitch-bitch.�
�You a bitch.�
�You are.�
Anyway, after this encounter, Mr. Tarantino decides to explain what happens after *BLEEP* awakens from her coma. This explanation of sorts left me a little confused as to where *BLEEP* finds money to buy clothes and a motorcycle, because she is in possession of both of these things at some point in the movie. But that�s beside the point. Before Uma Therman attacked this second person, she decided to go after Lucy Liu, the crazy leader of the Japanese Mafia. Technically, that�s not who she really is, but she might as well be, as she commands hordes of katana-wielding swordspeople and has a commanding presence over a Japanese Charlie Brown.
Once *BLEEP* seeks Lucy�s character, O-Ren, the movie assumes a very Japanese flavor. It might be because the remainder of the film takes place in Japan. I don�t know for sure. Before confronting O-Reny-Din-Din, Uma finds the picture�s token cool-ass wise old Japanese guy for the purpose of purchasing a sword worthy of Quentin Tarantino�s style of mass dismemberment. After acquiring this uber-1337 weaponzorrz, *BLEEP* finds O-Rin-Tin-Tin and her posse of approximately thirty million swordspeople in a local -- place. Where people dance to 60s music.
When *BLEEP* manages to find her, she meets up with Go-Go, Rinny-Tin-Tinny-Tin-O-Remby-Embrodak�s personal bodyguard; a crazy 17-year-old schoolgirl whose weapon of choice is a metal ball on the end of a long chain and who believes in covering her mouth when she giggles. The confrontation between the two was okay, but it wasn�t nearly as impressive as Uma�s battle with O-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong�s posse. This battle is without a doubt the centerpiece of the film -- and what a centerpiece. You�ve got defying the laws of physics Crouching Tiger style, flying limbs, tearing out of the eyeballs, fountains of blood spewing from every object conceivable -- hell, a guy even gets cut in half. When it was over, I was a little disappointed that someone didn�t explode. After that�s over and done with, Uma meets up with H-Two-O-Rye-On-Wheat. Again, classic kung-foo goodness.
Stylistically speaking, this is a very, very interesting film. Sure, there�s rape, gruesome death, and Texans, but there�s enough 70s funk and amusing little quips to get your mind off it. To top it off, people have conversations in Japanese, which raises the overall face value of this talking picture by 43%. There�s also a high level of crazy crap flying around, so watch your head on the way out of the theater. I don�t really know what that�s supposed to mean, but it�s true.
It isn�t what you�d call an intellectually stimulating film, though. And I�m sure all you were expecting that from director Quentin Tarantino. But what it lacks in "hmm, that makes me think about my life in a new perspective" value it makes up for "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME" value. Or at least in "HOLY SHIT, I'M SIGNIFICANTLY IMPRESSED" value. And when I say that, I basically have the fight scenes in mind. Those were the only things I really paid attention to. I must say, though, that the dialogue was unrealistic in parts, though I�ve already partially touched upon that.
So, what�s my overall impression? Don�t miss Kill Bill. It�s not the greatest film on the face of the Earth, but it�s probably one of the most impressive bloodbath flicks in existence.
Here�s a meaningless numerical quantification of some kind:
Awesomeness Factors
Style -- 9.5/10 (Yay Japanese people)
Music -- 8/10 (I wasn�t paying that much attention, to tell the truth)
Story -- 5/10 (Not much depth, but enough plot to justify the gruesome death of half the Japanese population)
Kung-Foo -- 9/10 (Yay Japanese people)
Crazy Crap -- 11/10 (So. Much. Crazy. Crap.)
Overall -- 9.1/10