| Count Down Ten, nine, eight I count down, Tears fill my eyes As I drop to the ground. I took my knife And then a deep breath. Could I really do this? Cause my own death? I shook with fear As I put the knife to my skin. Just then a chill went up my back And I dropped it again. I stared at my knife As thoughts rushed through my head. Then I knew for sure, I wanted to be dead. I picked up my knife And wiped the tears from my face. Just moments from now, I'd be gone from this dreadful place. I took my knife in one hand And some pills in the other. I dropped them both suddenly 'Cause I thought I heard my mother. I picked up the pills, But they'd be too slow. The knife would hurt too much. I just didn't know. I figured the knife Would be the best. So I laid the pills On my bed to rest. I slowly put the knife To my pail skin. I made I deep cut, Then I dropped the knife, yet again. It hadn't worked. What was I to do? I remembered the pills on my bed, And then I knew. They were my last hope, And my time alone was running low. I had to do something Weather it was fast or slow. I began to take them one at a time. One pill, two pill, three and four. Nothing was happening, I had to take more. I took the whole bottle, And looked at the label. Why couldn't my life Be more like a fable? I walked to the window Barely able to stand. Deep red blood Dripping from my hand. The pills were taking affect And the room began to spin. My life off this earth Was about to begin. Just as I was falling to the ground I heard a shriek, a cry. What a dreadful sound, All I kept saying was, "why?" How could I do this, Put my family and friends through misery? Would it really be me that they miss? Oh this was such a tough mystery. Just then my door opened And in came my 10 year old sister. I knew this was bound to happen. At least now I knew that I would miss her. I would miss everyone, And just then I knew, This was no fun, My life was so blue. As my sister ran away, I let out a cry. She brought me the phone, looked over the bay, Then asked me, "why?" I didn't know what to do. The room was fading, And we both had no clue. "I thought you loved us," my sister said. It made me cry even harder, I just wanted to go to bed. Go to bed and never to awake, Is that what I'll be If I wait? As I reached for the phone My head hurt more. I should have known What I did this for. But I don't And as time goes by I know that I won't, I will not cry. As the room turns black My sister picks up the phone to dial 911 And then she just looked at my lying half-dead on my back. The paramedics show up Not five minutes later And attempt to save me. I could have never felt greater. Sitting in the hospital bed, I looked around and Saw flowers, the color of white and red. One of the cards say, "Get well soon, we all miss you!" From a friend, that made my day. No longer am I blue! In the bright, white room, I sit and think of how I could be dead. But I know I'll get better soon. It's just my mother I dread! I now am home, Glad to be alive. My life, to my sister I owe. Never again will I try to commit suicide! Sandi Board summer of 1998 |