We here at the Church of Joeb have a special deal for all you guys out there who just don't want to walk on this earth anymore. Now for all of you who might be considering Suicide I ask you this, why take yourself out only? WHEN YOU CAN TAKE OUT ALL THE PEOPLE YOU HATE AS WELL!!
That's right, now at the Church of Joeb you can now preorder your very own Suicide bomb! This handy dandy vest, which is covered in dynamite shaped frankfurts, will definitely give you bang for your buck. The vest comes in sizes from small to extra large.
Simply strap on the vest, put on the trench coat that comes extra with the vest (if purchased before Christmas), walk up to who ever you want to take with you and push the little red button.
You can use this on anyone. Recently got dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend for another person? Simply walk up to them and show them how you feel BY BLOWING THEM SKY HIGH. Your parents pissing you off with chores? Walk up to them with our vest strapped on, pretend to hug them and KABLOOIE!!!. Your boss pissing you off at the office because he's not giving you a raise or something? Simply walk into his office with our vest and push the little red button to send his greedy ass down to Lucifer while you ascend to heaven laughing your head off.
And if that hasn't convinced you yet, our leader and prophet Hitoshi Mengi of mind and spirit, has also blessed all our vests, so once you push the red button and blow yourself and whoever else with you to smithereens, you will ascend to the after life, no sweat.
So order our Suicide Bomb vests today and go out with a bang!!!!
(Note: Many Arabs may accuse us, and you, of copying their ideas, but pay no attention to them as they all have been out in the sun for a long, long, time)
