There are many theories that government agencies like to feed to the sheep they call the public, but I know the truth. The person (or thing) that took down the purple smurf was in fact...
Well first of all we must eliminate the suspects to be sure.
One theory is that Papa Smurf was an underground drug lord who smuggled his vast quantities of heroin around the smurf village and the world with the help of Vietnamese school children who were all named Nguyen. These children fanned the globe searching for buyers. The Purple Smurf was a ringleader but he, like Milhouse, got greedy and began using the Vietnamese children for his own sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring, man-loving exploits which he filmed and sold under the Nguyen family brand (the same company who markets Steven Nguyens family movies). I spoke with one of the exploited children, a Mr Richard Nguyen (he has since migrated to Australia (fuck haven't they all?) to escape the corrupt smurf village.)
Richard told me that on one (of many) occasions when he was being utilised by Purple Smurf for sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring acts of man-loving, he noticed scratches on his body that he believes came from other Viet children fighting back and Richard believes that during one of the acts of sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring, man-loving the child finally gave that fucker what he had coming. The scenario went down like this. The Viet child removed his pants before giving Purple Smurf a golden shower in which he hit the Smurf in the eye leaving him incapacitated and unable to fend off the brutal attack that followed. The details of the attack are unclear but I'm sure it featured a blowtorch, nail gun and Purple Smurfs manhood.
My next theory comes from the smurf village itself. Who would have thought that while the cartoon was so innocent and peaceful, the streets were rife with sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring acts of man-loving. It was well known amongst the smurfs that Smurfet was a slut and gave Papa Smurf a ride often enough but what they didn't know was the plutonic love that existed between Smurfet and Purple Smurf. This sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring act of man-loving was going down one day when in walked Gargamel. The sight of Smurfets sweet blue ass going to town on Purple Smurf enraged Gargamel (the smurf village equivalent of liver) who wanted sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring, man-loving for himself. In a fight of ecstasy and rage Gargamel killed Purple Smurf and hid his body in his cat's ass (have you ever listened closely to the cat? While it may seem to be saying "Meow", it's actually saying "Awww" in reference to the pain caused by having a little blue man inserted into his rectum). He then proceeded to make sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring, man-loving down by the fire with Smurfet.These might be true, but they probably not.
My theory is that during a secret meeting of the United Hermaphrodites Organization of Australia (of which Steven Nguyen is a member, see the connection?) it was decided that black people and asian people would not be represented in society in any form. This is where Robo-Cop came into the equation. Since the colour formed when black and yellow (these races are represented in society by their colours) are mixed together is purple, it was decided that Purple Smurf would be considered a figure head of these races and being part of each, would form a bond of unity between the 2 races through which they could unite and take over Bossley Park (this has already happened with the yellow half). It was decided that the best man for the job would be not human and he would take on a metal form and have a cool name and be shiny and other cool stuff and this process of elimination brought us to Robo-Cop. His mission was to take down the possible figurehead of the Inferiors, Purple Smurf. During one of his midnight jogs on a moonlit beach, after bathing a young Viet in milk and feeding him grapes and then having sick, perverted, despicable, vile, loving, romantic, caring, man-loving with the sweet, supple, young Viet, Robo-Cop took that sick bastard down. Approaching Purple Smurf head on (no poofy asian style gay shit from the rear) Robo-Cop attacked with a spinning fly punch to the face. Purple Smurf fell to the sand where upon Robo-Cop launched attack Number 2, kick to the balls. While clutching what little evidence of his manhood remained, Purple Smurf mumbled this eternal question "How far can you lean onto a naked man before its considered gay?" Not taken in by Purple Smurf's mind games, Robo-Cop finished with a jabbing motion with a sharp implement, a knife perhaps while screaming "Jab, Jab, Jab" and then "Die Mother Fucker, Die, Die" to which Purple Smurf had no reply. His body was then taken away by monks from UHOA (including Steven Nguyen) to an asian restaurant in Bangkok where his body was dismembered and served as some fucking disgusting asian dish served with rice and eaten with 2 twigs.
Well that?s my theory so deal with it.
The one who assassinated the Purple Smurf was....
Sasquatch?
No it was definitely Robo-Cop