..And yay, the servants prepared the feast for their masters. But when it came to pour the wine, they said to one another "Alas, for we have no more wine". Then Jebus stepped forward and said "Fear not, my children. Fill 6 water pods with water, and serve that...". They did so, and when the masters partook of the water, it had become wine, but did not know, whence, it had come. But the servants did know, and applauded loudly in the kitchen. They said unto the lord..."How the hell did you do that!?" and "Do you do children's parties?" to which the lord replied..."No."
The servants said unto the lord and said "Go on, give us another one!". The lord did so, and pulled forth a carrot from his robe and proclaimed "Behold this, for it is a carrot!". And the followers knew it was so...for it was orange...with a green top. He placed it one the table, and swept his hand over it, and in its place was...a fluffy rabbit. The crowd was absolutely amazed. Jebus then called for his mother Mary to come up onto the stage with him, and said to her... "Put on a tutu, and lay down in this box." She did so, and then Jebus took forth a saw, and clept her in twain. But when he opened the box, Mary was whole... And the crowd went absolutely bananas.
After bowing to the crowd, Mary knelt before Jebus, and he said "From this day forward, you shall be known... as Tiffany, for that is a good name...for an assistant" The crowd said to themselves, "We've never seen anything like this. You MUST be the son of god..." To which Jebus replied "No, I am the one who comes before...". The puzzled crowd asked "Then how will we know the true lord?". Jebus replied "He will have a name. Paul, he will be called. And Daniel, shall he be called...". "PAUL DANIELS!" the crowd cried, and Jebus said "Yes...something like that."