Sugarman Freeman Article p195
The conflict and anxiety the way is open to what?
Gross Article p203
Know where is the real adventure.
Know what is the meaningful challenge.
Know what monster we must face and conquer.
2.) Hunt Article p207
What was instrumental in his hesitation to climb the cliff?
What is the lesson of the cliff?
Collier Article p211
Know the first step to reduce worry.
Know habituation.
What does Robinson say about worrying endlessly over negative outcomes?
Lecture
Know social emotional skills useful in dealing with anxiety.
3.) CH8 Happiness
Arkoff Article p221
Know why Thorton Wilder wrote Ourtown.
Know the comparison of pursuit of relieve and pursuit of delight.
Lazarus and Fay Article p231
The mistaken tendacy to attribute unhappiness to what?
Know the first step to overcoming unhappiness.
4) What advice did they give concerning negative self statements.
Know where the locus of control resides.
Know what we have not been taught to say.
Arkoff Article P234
Know the Poly anna principle.
Regarding stressful situations, know the comparisons of optimists and pessimists (2 questions).
5.) CH9 Defenses
Arkoff Article p250
Know denial, know rationalization, know projection (3 questions)
Browne Article p265
Know the problem you bring on yourself by being dishonest.
A person lies to protect someone else's feelings. Why does he do this?
Know what is honesties twin asset.
6.) Hunt Article P271
Know what happens when an adulterous mate confesses.
Know what is a childish conception of love
ESSAY
Sugarman and Freeman Article P195
Know what Paul Tillich means by courage to be.
The word "death" must appear in your answer in context (hint hint), who loves you and you may not copy this answer by the way
7.) Gross Article P203
Contrast defeat following a risk taken and defeat of not even trying. (no copying)
Arkoff P221? (multiple Arkoff Articles)
According to Dordy, contrast pursuit of relief and pursuit of delight (no copying)
8.) Lazerous and Fay P231
Know what and where is the locus of control and why it's important to know where it resides. (this is a psychology class not an entomology class)
9.) Browne p 265
Explain exactly his definition of integrity
What does he mean by "dishonesty is a form of the identity trap".
A. Whenever we feel in conflict, with heightened anxiety, the way is open either to growth or regression. (p.199, 2nd column 2nd paragraph starts with "Although...")
Q. Know where is the real adventure.
A. In fact, the stakes are higher at home. (p.203, 1st column 3rd paragraph starts with "But...")
Q. Know what is the meaningful challenge.
A. Daring to make a souffl�, to argue a grade, to tell the truth, to say yes or to say no, to admit "I want," or "I deserve," these can all be moments of heroism, invisible leaps that free you, if only from the fear of accepting the dare. To risk, to leap, to throw one's fantasies into the ring is to pursue danger. (this is the challenge). (p.204. 1st column 1st paragraph starts with "Daring...")
Q. Know what monster we must face and conquer.
A. The monster is always your own self-doubts. (p.205, 1st column, 1st paragraph starts with "Staring...")
Recommend to read noted paragraphs
Q: What was instrumental in his hesitation to climb the cliff?
A.: p.207 column 1, 4th paragraph, "� that I wasn't as strong as other boys and not to take chances."
Q: What is the lesson of the cliff?
A: p210 (last paragraph) The lesson of the cliff was to not look at the rocks far below but at the first small and relatively easy step and, having taken it, to take the next one, feeling a sense of accomplishment with each move, until I have done what I wanted to do.
Collier article p 211
Q: Know the first step to reduce worry.
A: (p212 ,2nd column, #1) Learn to recognize immediately when you've started on a worry cycle.
Q: Know habituation
A: (p212, second to last paragraph) The period of deliberate worry also seems to burn away the worry. Ex. If you smell cabbage and corned beef for a while you will stop smelling it. In the same way, worry tends to decrease during this period of enforced worry.
Q: What does Robinson say about worrying endlessly over negative outcomes?
A: (p212, second paragraph to the top on the right hand side) Instead of fretting endlessly over negative outcomes, we should look for positive solutions.
Lecture: Know social emotional skills useful in dealing with anxiety.
A: 1. Reality Testing, faced with anxiety producing circumstance. 2. Increase interpersonal skill index. 3. confidence, competence, equation. 4. High self esteem: self esteem leads you to many successful places.
"an attempt to find the value above all price for the smallest events in our daily life". page 221
Know the comparison of pursuit of relief and the pursuit of delight.
Some of us, who have spent our lives pursuing relief, wonder why we never feel delight, but no amount of relief can produce delight. People whose minds are set on relief work to make sure that everything is taken care of and under control. There will be time for delight, they think, when things settle down, but of course, things never do. To pursue delight requires a different mindset, and we can pursue delight even though everything isn't in order. We don't let the work waiting on Monday interfere with our enjoyment of the picnic this lovely Sunday afternoon. Often the event that produces relief for one person delivers delight to another who approaches it in a very different way. Page 222
The mistaken tendency to attribute unhappiness to what?
External sources Page 231
Know the first step to overcoming unhappiness.
I believe the correct answer is To ask "exactly how do I manage to upset myself" We then obtain clues about how to avoid upsetting ourselves. Page 231
We told him to challenge each one of his negative selfstaements."How does failure with one women (or even 10 women) add up to failure as a man? It means that a relationship didn't work out as you had hoped. It says nothing about you as a man in general. .... Page 231
Know where the locust of control resides.
in our heads and not in the external events. Page 231
Know what we have not been taught to say.
We simply have not been taught to say "I made myself angry over his remark." "I allowed her behavior to get in the way of my own pleasure." We haven't been taught to be responsible for how we feel.
Know the Pollyanna principle.
There is a "Pollyanna Principle" evident in our language, memory and thought. Some manifestations of this principle are (1) we understand pleasant information more quickly and accurately than that which is unpleasant; (2) we spend more time thinking pleasant than unpleasant thoughts; and (3) if an event is unpleasant it will tend to fade or even lead to the Glad Game as we come to see it in a different light. P234, Paragraph 3.
Regarding stressful situations, know the comparisons of optimists and pessimists (2 questions)
Reaserch suggests that optimists tend to do better and behave differently than pessimists in stressful situations. Optimists are more likely to remain focused on the problem, try different strategies, and seek help from others. Pessimists are more likely to disengage themselves from the goal and focus on the emotion that has been aroused. Read Explanatory Style p234 and know the difference based on permanence pervasiveness and personalization.
A: Denial is when our suppressive efforts are specifically designed to prevent us from acknowledging an unpleasant reality (any unpleasant truth may be denied; denial can be a useful strategy when nothing more can be done in difficult situation) (p.250 2nd column 4th paragraph., p.251 1st column 3rd paragraph.)
Rationalization is interpreting behavior in an acceptable way in order To prevent a threat to one's sense of well-being. It operates without the individual's full insight or awareness (opposite of lying). It deceives others & her/himself. Difficult to find which is lie & which is rationalization. We may rationalize if our announced aim & the consequences of our behavior don't agree, if there are other explanations for our behavior (p.254 in "Rationalization 1st,2nd & 3rd paragraphs).
Projection refers to our tendency to attribute our own thoughts, feelings, & actions to others. We tend to regard others as somewhat like ourselves. Both"+" & "-" qualities can be projected: "+" to people we like & "-" to people we dislike. (p.258 "Projection" 2nd paragraph recommend to read all section)
Q: Know the problem you bring on yourself by being dishonest
A:Problem of dishonesty: 1. you have to remain on guard, using precious resources to cover up past acts; 2. you miss opportunity to be accepted for yourself; 3. dishonesty toward others can lead easily to dishonesty toward yourself; 4. this can lead to an anxious feeling that what you've obtained by lying can't be preserved; 5. sooner or later someone is going to become aware of your dishonesty - possibly because he has participated in it. (p.265 "Problems of dishonesty" recommend to read the beginning of article before "problems...")
Q: A person lies to protect someone else's feelings. Why does he do this?
A: When person lies to protect someone's feelings, he's most likely doing it to keep the person from disliking him.
Q: Know what is honesties twin asset
A: To be honest, you must know yourself well. That involves integrity, which is honesty's twin asset. Integrity is knowing yourself well enough to be able to mean what you say. Person with integrity can use the word "I" with authority. He knows what he thinks - for he's thought it out for himself. (p.269 "Integrity")
The man almost wishes that his wife would find out, so that he could ask for forgiveness and then he could confess. When this happens he sets himself free of the pain by transferring it to her; he is healed while she suffers.
He frees himself of pain by transferring it to her; he is healed while she suffers. ...
She finds herself always wondering "Am I as exciting as that other woman" ... His secret has shattered her peace of mind.
Q. What is a childish conception of love? p.272
The desire to pour out our thoughts and to confess our misdeeds to the people closest to us originates in a childish conception of love. This was originally how we as children tested our parents love. We would spill and expect mommy to clean it up with a forgiving smile.
Fundamentally, the desire to pour out our thoughts and to confess our misdeeds to the people closest to us originates in a childish conception of love. As one psychiatrist explains it, "To tell everything-one's past or present misdeeds, one's impermissible wishes-is reminiscent of the way an infant tests and demands parental love. A baby makes a mess and expects mommy not be angry but to clean it up with a forgiving smile. A grown person who tells the worst about himself is symbolically making a mess and asking to be loved despite it."
ESSAY
Q. Know what Paul Tillich means by courage to be. the word "death" must appear in your answer in context.
If one is able to acknowledge anxiety and battle it, healing forces are frequently set in motion. Dr. Paul Tillich once spoke of the necessity of having "courage to be," Which includes the acceptance and facing of anxiety. Paradoxically, true courage seems to begin with the admission of anxiety, just as the possibility of true living begins when we do not deny the possibility of death.
Contrast defeat following a risk taken and defeat of not even trying. (no copying)
-----The bottom of the page 204(left side)---the paragraph starts with "When people askerd her,..."
Arkoff P221? (multiple Arkoff Articles)
-----According to Dordy, contrast pursuit of relief and pursuit of delight (no copying)
p222 fourth and the next , starts from "Psychologist Frank Dougherty..."
The point is that when we recognize where the locus of control resides-in our heads and not in the external events-we are able to start doing something to change the way we perceive events. If you make yourself unhappy when your spouse yells at you, or when your in-laws visit you, or when your neighbor's dog barks, you must first discover exactly how you go about inducing this unhappiness. Then you can decide to do something about it.
The locus is statements, remarks and comments that we upset ourselves over. When we realize that the locus of control is within our heads and not the external forces, we are then able to change the way we perceive and react to events. For example if you make yourself unhappy, when your parents yell at you, or when people honk their horns at you, first realize how your making yourself unhappy, and then you can decide what you will do about it.
Integrity is knowing yourself well enough to be able to mean what you say.p269
What does he mean by "dishonesty is a form of the identity trap"?
The Identity Trap can be compelling. One can be so anxious to put his "best froot forward" (THE IDENTITY TRAP, AS THE TERM USED HERE, IS "THE BELIEF THAT YOU SHOULD BE SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF.")page 267
Lona, Cassandra, Jennifer, Kazushi, Aki, Rachel, Alyce, Sarah, and Jeff
for making this happen!!
