| March 29, 2002 |
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| I would like to thank Brother John for permission to use his message today. He and his wife, Jill are a couple which God has joined together. The Lord is using them in a mighty way. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Ephesians 5:25 HUSBANDS A Husband, What I think God tells us to be. We have all heard or read about what husbands should be. Then why write anything about it. WELL, I was married for thirty eight years before my wife died and I would like to share some rules I set for myself to have a successful marriage. These.rules I set for myself as I faced a particular situation. I want to talk about the role of a man as a husband. PUT GOD FIRST IN YOUR MARRIAGE Marriage is one of the most important steps you take in your life. People take it lightly now days. Half of the marriages are ending in divorce! Why? They don�t put God first in their decision to marry. Questions you should ask yourself and the girl you plan to marry are: Is she a Christian? Am I a Christian? Do we go to church regularly? What denomination? Is God first in our life? Are we active in the church? If different denominations, what church denomination will we [and if any children] go to. Are you now going to church with her? Do I pray together with her? Do I talk about God and Jesus with her? If she is not a Christian and you marry, you are unequally yoked in the marriage or you are in for hard times in your marriage. A successful marriage starts with both partners putting God first in their lives. AFTER GOD, YOUR WIFE IS FIRST IN YOUR LIFE Yes, after God, your wife is first in your life. We Christians are the bride of Christ. We chose our wives to love, hold and take care of. We are to love them in sickness and in health for richer or poorer until death when we part. OUR LOVE IS TO NEVER FAIL OUR WIFE. Christ�s love never fails us. We don�t always understand His love for us but it is there all the same. Our wives are to count on us. When help is needed, she should be able to count on it. Our love for our wife is never ending. Our wives are our best friend. We love our wife not expecting anything in return. God loves us not expecting anything in return except we love Him. How can we love our wives any less? You are to be her helper and she yours. There are things you and she want to do by yourself and together. You should never assume she doesn�t need help. It doesn�t hurt to ask �need any help?�. She may show you something new and useful! My wife was sick for also half our married life. The other half was raising kids. Never make your wife feel bad because she is sick. See beyond her sickness to the beautiful things you first loved about her. God does that for us. We can do no less for our wife. When we say the Lord�s prayer, we ask God to lead us not into temptation. Idle joking, touching, hugging or kissing with someone else can send the wrong message and lead to the wrong things. Use good judgment and don�t send or receive the wrong signals. God sees what we do. Would He be proud of it? Would our wife be proud of us? Times may be tough financially, physically or spiritually, but never in anger, make her feel she isn�t doing her part. Talk though any difficulties together. Pray with her. Don�t blame her. God doesn�t blame us. He paid the price! Your wife is special to you. She is a part of you. You are a part of her. Talk with her and tell her you love her. Show your love for her. Love her above all else, except God. LOVE YOUR WIFE ABOVE YOUR CHILDREN Your wife is a part of you. She will be a part of you physically or spiritually for always. Love her more than you do your children. Marriages break up because husbands put their children and other things ahead of their wife. Ask yourself the question �can our children come between my wife and me?�. If the answer is yes or sometimes, you need to change. You can play sports and other things with your children without putting them above your wife. Children who come or stay at home after completing college or other formal education need to have a plan to leave. See that it is carried out! Although we love our children and continually do for them, there comes a point in time when they should be on their own financially. We will always be there to give them help and advice when they ask, the same way God helps us when we ask. You as a husband, are to love God first and your wife second. Show your love for her openly and privately. Pray for your marriage and thank God for your wife. Amen. --john naberhaus |