| Wanted: Christians (a.k.a. Jesus Freaks, Holly Rollers, Bible Thumpers, Religious Nuts.) Job Description: - Must be willing to work 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. - Must be willing to give up desires for worldly �things� and replace them with desire to do good for your fellow man with no expectation of payment. - Must be willing to love your neighbor as you love yourself and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. - Must be willing to follow the 10 basic rules dictated by the founder (see Exodus 20:1-17). - Must be willing to acknowledge your position within the fold to all you meet both publicly and privately. Benefits: - An �Open Door� policy with the shepherd (prayer). - Removal of all worries. (The Shepherd will be taking care of them beginning on your start date as a member) - Close personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. - The ability to rebuke Satan (The master of deception and evil) and send him away. - Permanent External Fireproofing . (an added bonus I like) - Permanent Internal Blazing Fire. Retirement Package: - Eternal Life. (otherwise known as �Life Everlasting� mentioned above) - A mansion in Heaven that will stand for eternity. How and Where to apply: Get on your knees and ask your father, the One True Living God, the father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to cleanse you and fill you with His spirit. Confess to Him you know you are unworthy of the gift of Salvation but through the death and resurrection of His son Jesus Christ you accept it. Promise to praise Him in all you do and go into the world as a �new man�. Humble yourself to Him and everyone around you understanding that every day is another blessing from God so you can spread the message of his love for man and his desire that none shall die. You can apply right where you are now. There is no better time than the present because we are never promised our next breath. What are you waiting for? |