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Okay, just to be on the safe side I'm putting a disclaimer
in this one. Him and Professor Utonium belong to Cartoon Network and Craig
McCracken, I'm just
having some fun with them.
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The psychiatrist crossed her arms and smiled. "So,
Mister..." she looked down at her schedule. "...Utonium, you're here to
talk about some odd dreams
you've been having?" The man in the chair facing
her nodded. He looked slightly frazzled, as if he hadn't been sleeping
well.
"Actually, everyone calls me 'Professor'." he corrected. But yes, Doctor Mallar."
"Have they been nightmares?" the woman asked, leaning forward and resting her chin on one hand.
"Yes... I mean no. I... Well, I never feel any fear
while I'm dreaming, in fact it's just the opposite. It's only when I look
at them in retrospect that they
seem... Well, wrong is probably the best word for
it, but that doesn't even begin to cover it." Dr. Sherri Mallar frowned
and pushed a lock of black hair out
of her eyes. The Professor looked at her. She had
the most brilliant green eyes, and they went so well with her deep tan.
She looked familiar, too. It was
on the tip of his tongue...
"Professor, I'm afraid I won't be much of a help unless
you can describe these dreams in as much detail as possible." the doctor
piped up, breaking in on
his train of thought.
"Huh? Oh, yes. Are you sure I have to go into detail? The dreams are pretty graphic, and I'm not sure..."
Sherri laughed, a musical sound. "I really doubt you can shock me, Professor. I've heard it all." Professor Utonium fidgeted and looked at his feet. "I'm just... embarrassed, I guess."
Doctor Mallar smiled reassuringly. "It's okay to be embarrassed, Professor. In fact, it's a part of life."
Professor Utonium sighed. "I guess you're right, doctor. I'm just nervous. I've always considered myself the pillar of normalcy, but..." he trailed off, gesturing with his hands.
"Nobody's normal, Professor, as much as people would like to believe otherwise. You can rest assured that whatever you say will be kept in confidence."
Utonium took a deep breath and spoke as to what had
brought him to the office of Sherri Mallar, D.Ps.M. "I've been having dreams
about Him. You know,
the supervillain?" Sherri nodded.
"And...?" she urged.
"They're... erotic dreams, to say the least. I've been having them about every night for a few weeks." The Professor closed his eyes. "It's always along the same lines. I'm... getting intimate with a woman, and suddenly she changes into Him. But the thing is that I don't care. I just continue with what I was doing before the change."
"Which is having sex." Sherri said bluntly.
Professor Utonium crossed his legs and nodded. "The dreams seem so real. Sometimes when I wake up I can still feel his skin, taste... Well, you get the idea." the Professor blushed. "It's incredibly unnerving to think that Him may know I'm having these dreams, and the worst thing is that I don't know what to do about it. I came here hoping that you'd be able to find out the cause, and how to get rid of them."
"Now, why would I want to do that?" Doctor Mallar
asked. "As long as these dreams are enjoyable, and it sounds like they
are, I really don't see any harm
in you having them. And as for the cause..." the
doctor shrugged. It could be anything from stress to supressed feelings
to the remote possibility that
you're actually picking up on Him's dreams." Sherri
smiled and looked at the wall clock. "I'm afraid your fifty minutes are
up, Professor Utonium. Why don't
you come back next week, at the same time?"
"Sounds good." said the Professor. "Goodbye, Doctor Mallar." He rose to leave.
"Goodbye, Professor Utonium."
He left, and Sherri slumped into her chair for a moment before sighing and snapping her fingers. In a puff of pink smoke, she was replaced by a smiling Him, who made a note in the schedule book on the desk. "Friday at two." he said to himself, closing the book. Him shook his head. "'Wrong' Utonium says." he muttered, then smiled laviciously. "I'll show him 'wrong'. Now, where'd I put that copy of the 'Kama Sutra'..." he wondered as he dissappeared in another puff of smoke.