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| A ROUGH GUIDE TO BEING ALEX P. KEATON |
| "When I was young, all I wanted was to be ruler of the universe. Now that isn't enough." -- Alex P. Keaton |
| * sometimes parents do dumb things (like getting themselves arrested on thanksgiving!)...deal with it... * never invest money on the stockmarket, its a risky business...especially if its your dads cash that your secretly using... * in matters of the heart a 'good' brother will always help a sisters beau by off loading their chauvinistic attitudes upon them... * be resourceful...if you believe being a 'big brother' is a handy thing to have on your resume than befriend a lonely vietnamese boy to fill the void... * just cos your lumbered babysitting theres no reason why you cant still attend a friends poker match...just try not to lose said child..ok?? * even perfect folk screw up...a dependancy on pill popping to get through exams is never good but at least in the keaton household your addiction will only last one episode... * never send parents to do a mans job..for example getting them to butter up an unpleasent teacher may lead to them socking him one....doh!!! * always take your leadership skills seriously, even little girls on a softball team nead discipline...now drop and give me twenty missy!!! * try to get into the christmas spirit a little more, otherwise you'll only wind up having to endure half a hour of a scrooge like dream sequence... * do anything to impress a girl you like even if it means lying about being a feminist... * always ask two girls out to the prom, as your smart and charming you'll easily be able to keep up the charade...yeah right... * invent a foolproof blackjack system while in alantic city thus leading your own mother into a life of gambling... * getting an 'f' may seem like the end of the world but on the bright side with a sister like mallory you'll never be short of ideas on coping with failure... * kissing your best friends dream girl is always a no-no but as your alex you'll probably get away with it... * always hire a housekeeper on a looks only basis... * while your parents are away rent out the family home as a hotel just dont ask about the kangeroo in the living room.... * finding a girlfriend cannot be achieved by picking photos in a freshman directory... * once you've finally found the right girl, do anything to keep her...even if it means having a stab at ballet.... * remember these few general things (a) you are always right, (b) winning is everything, (c) oh wait a minute..money is everything and (d) theres nothing wrong with tooting your own horn, toot toot..... reckon you can cut it as an alex in training? got what it takes to walk with the (not so) big boys?....... sorry but sir.alex was one of a kind, the big cheese, the head honcho, the numero uno, the high lama...get my drift...and like me you'll just have to make do with worshipping him from afar...ahh what a guy...now, if only i could find out what the 'P' in his name stood for....hmmm.... back to the cult of alex |
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| step inside the world of the baby-faced would be tycoon....wanna learn to deal with life the alex way? read on for alex memories and advice...and i hope your taking notes at the back..... |
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