Religion

Notes: I hope this won�t be offensive; please remember that these notes are only my opinions.

Although I�m a Roman Catholic, I honestly cannot say that I am. I do, however, go to church every weekend, attend the vigil masses, go to confession, and so forth, but my personal beliefs come in contradiction to my faith. Here is where the conflict arises. In Catholicism (as with other religions, I�m sure) you must believe what the faith teaches. All of it. You cannot pick your beliefs, and as much as I want to be a model of the church, I cannot be so because of how I feel. I have questions, many of which my mentors or teachers cannot explain. This is where faith is supposed to fall, but I�ve been finding that my confidence in the church is becoming insecure.

I�m not sure whether it�s because of media or the violence I�ve seen BECAUSE of religion, and this disturbs me. What�s more, I have questions such as: �what makes Christianity so sure of �this and that�? There�s more than one way to interpret the Bible right? So then what is the correct interpretation? Why did Christians persecute non-believers? Why do they continue to do so now? How can religion be so proud when it should be humble? Why is a French kiss considered sex?

I know very well that it�s not exactly the religion that�s the problem, but it�s more so of the people who DIRECT the religion. I�m not saying that the priests, the Vatican, etc. are wrong, but we can�t say the people in the parliament are perfect because they are NOT.

I believe there is a Hell, and by all means, that�s the last place I want to end up by the end of my life. I�m trying to be a good person, but when I stumble I realize it only after and regret it because of the price I will pay in the future and because of displease I caused in heaven. I admit it, I have done innumerable deeds I hate myself for, and my loosening faith isn�t helping. Religion provides guidance, and I need guidance. To be apart of the religion, I must believe. I do believe, but not in everything. So now a new fear: Has the devil won?

The best I can do is just that. The best I can. God is supposed to be loving and forgiving. This doesn�t mean I should put all my faith in God�s mercy and do whatever I please, but it DOES mean I have to try to be good with what personality I have. I�m human. We�re all human. God gave us the will to think and decide. I feel that as long as we try and be honest with ourselves, and effort to do no evil- then maybe we�ll be fine. Why should I waste my time brooding over going to hell because I�m not a saint, when I can make fond memories with my friends, be there for them and my family? Why should I worry about hell when I can be a good person and enjoy my life? It�s MY life, it�s MY time, and I have to use it for God AND myself. Brooding, moping, and building-up hatred does nothing. Making the most of things does otherwise.

So while I may agree and disagree with the church, I still shouldn�t throw religion away. It�s important because it helps to build my perspective and character. As for atheists, I have nothing against them. 75% of my friends are either atheists or non-believers and I love them all. They are hardly any different from me as I am from them. We make mistakes together, we laugh together, cry together, and even do wrong together. Needless to say, we�re important to one another.

Here�s the key: if you can feel, love, and try to be a good person, God�s with you whether you believe or not. God�s with everyone even those who feel they have no hope at all. He�s with you, me, your neighbor, the criminally insane- EVERYONE. In return, we should at least try a little to love him back- especially if you somehow know of him. And IF� IF he does not exist, what have I to lose in believing that he does?