“Okaasan… and Her Branches”

6/20/00

By: Hikari

E-mail to: [email protected]

Notes: Ergh… I need a breather from “Broken”. Which is why I whipped-up this little piece of fluff (or at least I hope it will be fluffy ^^ () ). This fic is for anyone and everyone- that’s including yaoists and non-yaoists. I’ve tried to design this one in such a way that I hope neither side would be discontented. If you believe that Kurama and Hiei are lovers- you are free to assume that. If you support their close friendship instead- then this fic is readable for you too. All implications are in your own mentality, so I hope you enjoy.

 

*****

 

            It was cold that night- blistery. The wind blew angrily and the feeble branches- stripped naked of their leaves- were stretched far out. Crooking and bending to the motions the currents the air wished to take. Sometimes, the gusts of air were so overwhelming that the bark from the very trees were skinned and splinters flew in whirls dangerously in the atmosphere. The whole house creaked and windows pounded against their frames. A very cold and windy night.

 

            Red orbs flashed, reflected by the glass he stared through. It was so dark outside, he himself couldn’t see anything besides the branches. The branches that were long and ominous- casting a shadow appearing like a long sickly hand, threatening the grasp and kill. Yet, he was left completely adamant- he allowed the eerie shadows to creep over his pale ivory face and caress it. Pulling the thick blanket over him, he clutched onto it tightly for more warmth. He couldn’t sleep, not now. Too many thoughts.

 

            “Kurama…” He whispered. After saying the other’s name- he drew a blank. He thought again for a few moments to compose himself and offer an excuse for actually speaking with his own will. “…You’re not sleeping…”

 

            It didn’t take much for the youkai to immediately sense that the redhead who had his back faced to his own- smile and shake his head. It ran through his mind as to whether or not he was becoming more and more predictable. The other stretched a bit and yawned before responding.

 

            “…Neither are you…”

 

            Caught. Silenced. Kurama had a way with doing that. He would have retaliated lightly with words, but as it was- he was already spending the night in Kurama’s bedroom. Saying something offensive, he knew, was a very poor ‘thank-you’ to a close friend. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t have been polite enough to guard his usage of diction.

 

            “…Shouldn’t I be on the floor…?” He spoke again.

 

            The youkai chuckled. “You’re a guest… and anyway… aren’t you tired of sleeping on top of hard places, Hiei?”

 

            Hiei didn’t answer that. There were a lot of questions he didn’t answer, and this one was just another tally. “I’m just tired.”

 

            Kurama yawned again and flipped his pillow around for a fresh and cool surface. “… Then sleep…” He said bluntly.

 

            “If I could… I wouldn’t be talking to you…” Hiei yawned too, and an image of a little kitten rushed through Kurama’s imagination.

 

            “What’s wrong?… Nightmares…?”

 

            “Not really… I haven’t dreamt of anything as of late…”

 

            “Oh…”

 

            Kurama’s full green eyes wandered over the plain wall in front of him. He wasn’t very fond of this season. It was a season where everything turned brittle and died. Green transformed into gold, and from gold to old worn brown. Autumn was drawing closer and closer to winter, and most if not all the plants in his yard had withered away. Even in the night, the barren tree in the front garden of the residence was taunting him by leaving a silhouette of its form in the room he slept in. *It’s alright…* Kurama told himself. *Wilt and die, then be born to the earth more beautiful than before… those are MY flowers…*

 

            “…Do you hate the wind…?”

 

            The bed rocked faintly because of being startled by Hiei’s sudden interjection. “Excuse me?”

 

            “Do you hate the wind?”

 

            “No…” Kurama had to speculate over why his little guest had asked such a random question. Finding that he had no leads- he decided to back-up his reply before Hiei would have to converse any more than he really wanted to. “ I don’t hate the wind… it kills the plants… but it can also make new ones… It’s harsh, but it can also be so uplifting… I don’t hate the wind…”

 

            The fire youkai watched as a branch snapped and was carried away forever- spinning and revolving like a boomerang. The air bellowed louder, a giant left to be unseen. Hiei closed his eyes. “I … don’t … like… it… It makes it hard for me to stand… I hate it when I can’t stand…”

 

 Blinking at this, the redhead’s long fingers played with the lining of the bed sheet, which was wrapped snugly against the mattress’ edges. “I’m not sure if you are speaking in metaphors or if you are being completely serious…”

 

“It could… be both…” He deepened himself into the bed- feeling his friend’s body heat emit from his backside.

 

“… Can you… explain…?” Kurama ceased running his touch across the garter.

 

Hiei sighed. “I don’t know… Maybe it’s because the wind always pushes me back- makes me bend over…There is nothing I can do against it- it’s stronger than I am and sometimes I can’t help, but follow its course…”

 

More blinking. Kurama had no inkling whatsoever as to what Hiei was talking about. For him, the wind was the wind. It was air and it was life in both forms- bad and good. It was so rare when Hiei spoke in riddles- and all the times he had done so, it was only because he was afraid to fall into a conversation larger and more intimate than himself. Sota speak.

 

“I don’t… like being lead away to destiny… destiny should be in my own hands…”

 

Sliding his legs up, Hiei seemed to have curled into a stiff ball. He wasn’t certain why he did this. It could have been because he was cold… or it could have been because there was no one to hold him. Then again, maybe he simply wanted to shut the wind out.

 

“Are you cold?” His friend asked.

 

“No…” Stop. Was he cold? “… I mean… yes…”

 

“Do you want to borrow a sweater?”

 

“No… I’m fine….”

 

Strange. That’s what it was. Strange. What happened for the next few minutes was an ill at ease silence, which rendered Kurama helpless against inquiries that surged through his temples. He turned over to lay on his spine; he had so many questions coming at him at once- he had to rub his eyes to fade out the spots he was seeing on the ceiling.

In the mean time, the other stowed his icy feet away within his now unfolded pant legs. Another minute, another branch was torn from the tree- gone.

 

            “Do you… still want to talk?”

 

            “…Kurama…”

 

            “Hm…?”

            “It was windy when I was thrown over….”

 

            In reaction to the sudden drop of grave revelation, he sat-up instantly- crimson locks flying behind him and brushing down his back as they descended. He peered over his shoulder to make out the shape of the demon next to him. Hiei’s eyes weren’t fully open- they were slits through which his wine colored irises saw everything he wanted to see. They flitted quickly from the window to him.

 

            “You… never told me that…” Kurama said quietly.

 

            His friend didn’t move- he was like stone and it looked like he was going to stay that way.  “I never told you a LOT of things…”

 

            Brushing off a few strands from the rear of his neck, Kurama later looked on through the pane. One more branch- tossed into the obscurity. “Do you want to tell me now?”

 

            Hiei squeezed his eyes as hard as he possibly could and wrapped his arms fully around his pillow. Had the pillow been alive, it would have been strangled to death. “Could you… tell me how your mother is like instead?”

 

             “Huh…?” He craned his neck back to the demon.

 

            “Your mother… tell me about her… She obviously means a great deal to you…”

 

            Kurama smiled gently, settling his chin over his propped knees- artful hands linked to hold his legs together. “She does… she changed me and gave me a new life… For all the years I have lived- I realize that I honestly never have loved anything or anyone… Okaasan taught me what love is, and finally I understand why something without a heart isn’t alive at all… I truly have been dead for nearly half a century…”

           

“She taught you that…?” Hiei spoke again, eyelids finally opened and at ease.

 

“Yes… she said a beating heart means everything. When my heart started beating inside her- she told me she couldn’t have been happier.”

 

“Heart beat…” A hand makes its way to his oversized shirt- clenching onto loose the material above the left side of his upper body. “My mother touched my chest when I was born- could that be why…?”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why…” Hiei choked in. “Why she… wanted to end her own heart… when she thought mine had stopped… when she thought I died from the fall…?”

 

Kurama’s throat went dry, and he had to swallow in order to give a small bit of reassurance, as well as an answer back to the one who was desperately searching for it. “It’s… a mother’s love… every parent has a connection to their child… she’s the tree that bears the leaves, flowers, and branches… She loved you- don’t doubt that…”

 

“That was before I sold everything to power…”

 

“You weren’t originally looking for it…”

 

“But I still went after it- the outcome was still all the same… I left behind my innocence before I could even comprehend -much less experience- what innocence was… I was in no way her child…”

 

“You’ve forgotten who you are talking to… I was by no means Okaasan’s son either…”

 

The youkai’s long lashes stroked the pillow beneath him- even in this weather,

Kurama’s sharp ears were able to make the almost inaudible sound out. “It hurts you then… doesn’t it?”

 

“I’d be a bastard if I felt nothing…the bastard born five hundred years ago…”

 

“Don’t…” Hiei cut him off. “…Go on like that… tell me more about your mother…”

 

“Okaasan… she took care of me and cherished me no matter what I did… One time, I was rummaging around for a can that I could put some seeds in. I found one at the top of the shelf in the kitchen, so I used a stool to get it. When my hand went for it- I accidentally knocked a plate off the rack and slipped from the stand… My head never hit the floor… Kaasan caught me… But her arms… The were scarred and blood- as red as a rose- ribboned all around her sliced flesh… It was from the broken plate…She didn’t cry… no… She smiled- happy to see that I wasn’t the one injured… Kaasan could have died from bleeding to death…”

 

“She sounds… warm.” The smaller acknowledged.

 

Kurama batted his beautiful lashes- more rapidly than Hiei had for he was getting pretty drowsy. Still, it wouldn’t be fair if he left his friend hanging. “Yes… warm. On rainy days she made me cocoa- with little marshmallows too…” He added with an accompanied laugh. “On sunny days, we went to the park and took a row boat out to the lake. There she would read me stories like- ”

 

“Like the Fox and the Hound?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“I saw the book on your desk…”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Go on…” The other urged.

 

“Well, when I was sick- she would stay in my room until I finally fell asleep. She would give me so much soup, I thought noodles and chicken broth would start pumping out of my nose…”

 

“Hn…”

 

“And when it was windy…”

 

“When it was windy…” Hiei repeated.

 

“She took me in her arms and locked me inside a cotton quilt…” Kurama hauled his knees in closer to the trunk of his body. “She provided me with the best kind of shelter…I… miss those days… I’m afraid I’m too big for any of that now…”

 

Hiei buried his face within his pillow- in order to hush the continuous roaring and to hide his horrible envy. Something small pelted the window. He uncovered half of his features so that he may see what it was. The window was pelted again, by a raindrop. More droplets sheathed the glass, running down and rimming the pane. Thunder ensued, and the tree by the window was destroyed in a strike of lightning. Eyes broadened. The tree was reduced to a parched stake; smolder rising from the burnt plant- ash powdering whatever was left. A tear left the fire demon’s eye, solidifying into a spherical diamond- clear and pure. It rolled from the mounds of cushioning and landed on the carpet. It continued to roll until it lost momentum and stopped where the low glow of the moon shone from the windowpane. The glow marking itself on the carpeting in the shape of a semi-blue/white square. Lightning blazed further off in the distance, and for a split-second, all the colors of the spectrum –from red to purple- streamed from the diminutive gem.

 

“The tree is dead…”

 

Kurama’s eyelids slowly lowered, water welling and trickling from both cheeks. “She… wouldn’t have been contented without her branches…”

 

“I hate the wind…”

 

Laying back in bed  -in the position he formally was in- he tugged the sheets over his neckline. The night seemed interminable, and somehow Kurama felt that he was the one who had to end it.

 

“Hiei…”

 

“Hn…?”

 

“If it’s ever windy… or if you need somewhere to stay… my window will always be open to you…”

 

The little one relinquished from his ball, and felt relieved as the blood in his body now flowed freely. He let out a deep breath, and a corner of his lip curved just barely. “You’re just like your mother… I’m glad that the two of you are still connected…”

 

Hearing what Hiei had said- was an exchange of consolation on his part. Although Kurama was not the spirit of Shiori’s true son- he came out to be everything his human mother had always wanted him to be. He was polite, intelligent, and above all had a heart that was tender and could beat. The lines of virtue and moral, which were rich in Shiori’s soul- flowed through him too. Knowing this provided the youkai with a sense of true peace. Sitting upright, he was about to tap his friend to thank him. That was, until he noticed that Hiei had immediately fallen asleep. He breathed softly, lips faintly parted- serene.

 

“Maybe now… you can dream of your mother…” He mused. “ Mother is never far from the heart, such as the fallen branches and leaves are never too far from the tree…”