“Let’s Fly as the Birds Do…” Chapter Twenty-three

8/22/01

By: Hikari

E-mail to: [email protected]

Notes: Music theme to chapter: “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls.

 

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            For richer, or poorer…

           

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            Hiei shivered again, but unlike before, it was uncontrollable. Out of instinct, he clutched onto his sides with both arms. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking like this- it was too strenuous. His body had been acting up as such for two days, and with today being the third, the shivering was worse than ever. Kurama had already given him an extra blanket, but the temperature of the household still felt like an icebox. Peering at his skin, he noted there were no goose bumps whatsoever. An eyebrow went up in ponder.

 

            Another chill attacked him; so bad it was he had to take hold on the door pane of his bathroom to keep from collapsing onto the ground. Ruby eyes traveling to the mirror, his skin foretold of infirmity with its pale and ailing color.

 

            A third chill, and he held himself once more- this time falling to his knees as they had finally given way on him. “Uhn…”

The demon moaned quietly- is head throbbing in torture. Then there was chittering- his teeth, they were clamping on and off and his lip began to turn violet on the spot.

 

            “Uhn…” Hiei cried, hands moving to his stomach. “…It’s cold… It’s so cold…”

 

*****

 

            The hurdles grew higher and higher as they jumped over them. Every few meters they would appear, intimidating the runners with their size and often succeeding by making them trample, fall, and miss. But Kurama kept going, he was still in lead and had not yet become dim-witted enough to think he wouldn’t be able to clear the obstacles. ‘Simply don’t look at them,’ he reasoned. ‘The hurdle is only there to distract you, and that’s what really makes you fall. The goal is not jumping over it, but rather, reaching the other side and further… The end is your goal- the final means… Don’t squander your time thinking you can conquer the hurdles, because they are only minor hindrances to the true victory- that is finishing…’

 

            Sprinting around the rubber track, Kurama came to the final one. With grace he leapt of over it- legs extended fully, enough to be considered the splits. He didn’t touch the impediment; he didn’t even graze it with the tip of his shoe. The people behind him stumbled- the few who made the attempt to get over the hurdle knocking it down and hurting themselves along the knees and shins. In frustration they pounded on the track with their fists, causing puffs of dust to smoke into the thick air.

 

            The redhead ran for the finish line, slowing down as he should. Putting his hands on his hips, he smiled smugly while looking back on the others. They were inept when it came to mind and body philosophy. He caught a glimpse of the coach staring at him from the stands with revulsion. To irritate him more, Kurama faced him from a distance fully, smiled from ear to ear, and waved. Yatori grumbled something incoherent.

 

            “You’re only asking for trouble…” he sneered.

 

*****

 

            Oddly enough, they were given a free period to do whatever they pleased. Half of the students made most of this time by doing work, whereas others goofed around. Either way, Honoka didn’t mind- as long as they were enjoying themselves. Free periods were normal at school, but with Honoka, she never made use of the power to give it. Today, however, she surprised everyone with her change in lesson plan, and naturally they made no remarks of complaint. In fact, Honoka would walk about the classroom, giving tips to card players in their game of Thirteen, she went to one girl who had just been dumped by her boyfriend and made her feel better by braiding her hair, and she sat with Shuiichi to talk about the books they’re read and their inferences. Soon, there was only ten minutes left, and so she stood before them all in front of the whiteboard- calling for attentiveness.

 

            “Class, this will be my last lesson… Starting tomorrow, you will have a new sensei to lead you the rest for the year. As for me, I shall be returning home to my family in England. I want all of you to know, that I did have a wonderful time teaching and being acquainted with you- so I hope you treat the next teacher with the same consideration as you have me…”

 

            Few of the good students actually whined in detest, the rest could give less of a damn. Kurama sat at his desk utterly stunned by the news. His eyes became almost vacant, his lips parted in shock.

 

            “Why? Why are you going?” A girl asked. “I love your class! You can’t just leave!”

 

            “You’ve been a great sensei, Kairu-san… But what are you going to do in England?”

 

            Questions started small in number, but in no less than a minute or so, the whole class grew inquisitive- including the slackers and clowns. Yes, they somehow loved her too. Honoka was the only teacher in the entire district who permitted eating in class, cracking jokes, speaking opinions, and cursing- of all things. Not all her lectures were interesting, but she was young and full of fresh thoughts that were mingled with overwhelming wisdom. And she was beautiful. Long wavy mahogany hair and violet eyes. Polite and patient. Beautiful inside and out. The students clamored, and all Honoka could really do was smile sadly. She peered at Shuiichi, losing her false grin then at seeing his dejected face.

 

            The bell rang, and miraculously, the room was emptied at a snail's pace instead of with rush. In the end, Kurama was the last to be there- immobile from the very beginning. “What happened?” He whispered desperately. “Why are you leaving?”

 

            Striding up to him with her high heels tapping the floor, she sat in front of him, faced backwards in the desk as usual, and spoke: “I lost my job…”

 

            “What?!” The student was at the rim of hysterics. “How could you be fired? You’re so good at what you do! No one teaches literature with as much devotion- no one!”

 

            Maternally, Honoka placed a palm on his shoulder. “…Shuiichi… Teacher and student are not meant to fraternize…”

 

            It hit him. “…It’s because of ME…?”

 

            “I wouldn’t say YOU…” she appeased “It was mostly me… for helping you…”

 

            “Of course…” Kurama said angrily- voice cracking. “You had to help an outcast…”

 

            “The deed was worth it…” his teacher continued.

 

            “Why? You lost your career over me… it will go on your record… How are you ever going to teach again?”

 

            “It doesn’t matter… I will work with my mother at her silk shop…”

 

            “SILK shop?” His face became a caricature of disapproval. Honoka laughed.

 

            “You’d be surprised with what you can do with silk, Shuiichi…” She crossed her long legs and tugged at the edge of her black blazer. “Do you want to know the truth? As to why I bothered being your friend?”

 

            Kurama’s head lowered until his cheek was settled on the cold tabletop. “It may give me peace of mind…”

 

            Honoka nodded curtly. “I thought it would… Shuiichi, I had a sister who was a lesbian…”

 

            He glanced up with his irises- pools of green welling with emotions.

 

            “…She was killed- died in America. She was two years younger than me, my sister, Evelyn, but I called her Eve…” Subconsciously, her fingers started stroking Shuiichi’s glossy and lengthy hair. “Anyway, we were very close. Father died in Japan on business when we were little, so we did our best to watch one another.” Suddenly, her voice trailed- heaving pain in its tone. “Mother knew there was something about her, and when she found out, well… She would always fight with Eve- slap her in the face, speak of sin and disgust… I hated it. Here she was, preaching a pure and devout life, when she hurts her daughter with words of spite… Not only words, but hitting and throwing… Eve had a scar on her forehead from being burned with an iron… After years of all this, Eve gave up and decided to study in America- free of mother’s repugnance.” Honoka paused in order to formulate the language she wanted. “In nineteen ninety-nine, a boy from the University of Wyoming, Matthew Shepard, died five days after being brutally attack in some hate crime… He was gay, and lost his life at the prime age of twenty-one… My sister died in the exact same state just months after him… I have no doubt she was murdered by the same people…”

 

            “…What did your mother say?…When she found out…?”

 

            “…She cried... Mum couldn’t say a word for weeks- she was too devastated. I did what I could to comfort her, but she could never find the will to forgive herself. One day she cried to me saying: ‘The last thing Evelyn remembered about me… was me calling her a perverse whore! Evelyn was NEVER a whore! Oh God! She’s gone! She’s gone and is never coming back! I destroyed ten years of happiness… for this!! I’ve lost my child, and I didn’t get the chance to tell her how much I loved her!’” Honoka closed her eyes, quenching the tears threatening to burst out. “…The way she said that, it was filed with so much anguish that it rings in my ears from time to time… I could never forget it… I refuse to forget it…It’s the only thing that proves that mum cherished Eve…”

 

            Searing tears dripped- it could not be prevented. “If that kind of hate can obliterate the life of my only sister, then I will make it a point to ease that hate however is possible… But I’m only one person, Shuiichi… I can only accomplish so much… And you, you’re a treasure among your peers… You’re intelligent, kind, patient, and strong… I won’t let the world destroy your future! Your life is too important to be cut short by narrow-mindedness! By stupidity!”

 

            “Kairu-san…” Kurama raised a sleeve to wipe off her face. For him, she developed strength to smile.

 

            “You’re my student…” she sniffed. “It’s my duty to help you…”

 

*****

 

            It was a struggle to leave his teacher’s room, but he had to go just as everyone else. Kurama walked down the hall, completely oblivious to all the mockery, paper planes, spitballs, and whatnot that hit him every single day.  Someone found the nerve to get in front of him and shout: ‘Oh, you’re so SEXY…’ then he’d blush, giggle, run and laugh with his friends. ‘Nice joke…’ the redhead judged. ‘I almost laughed myself…’

 

            Kurama went to his locker, opened it, but stepped to the side first to see what would pour out. ‘SHAAA…’ Clever. Today it was sand. Better than last time. Last time it was loads of dirty boxers, briefs, and the famous thong. Apparently, they were running out of ideas. Sighing, he kicked some of the sand, stood over the mess, and replaced a number of his textbooks. The redhead glared at his calculus and biology books; there were pebbles in between the pages, and so he had to flip them to empty them. While doing this, something caught the concentration of his ear:

 

            “Hey, I think I know why Kairu-san lost her job…”

 

            It was a girl who said this- one of the typical ones who indulged in gossip.

 

            “Honto ni?”

 

            Certainly, she made public whatever she gathered with an equally tittle-tattling friend.

 

            “Hai! Rumor has it she had a relationship with one of her students…”

 

            Irritated, he slammed the door to his locker vehemently. The people in the middle of the corridors halted briefly to stare at him. How remarkable it was that the two girls, who were basically right next to him, didn’t even detect the racket.

 

“Eeh?! Where did you hear that?”

 

            “Places- Lots of places. But you know, you can’t make a lie without some sort of truth…”

 

            “That’s revolting! Her and a STUDENT?!

 

            They enjoyed filthy news- whether they were true or not didn’t make a difference as long as word was juicy.

 

“Mm! I guess you just don’t know who a person is any more…I never thought Kairu-san could be a slut…”

 

            “She is NOT a slut!!”

 

            Jumping in their shoes, they seized on to each other’s arms from fear. “Shu… Shuiichi…”

 

            His aura darkened, thin eyebrows coming together in a terrifying growl. “You have no RIGHT to assume anything about her!” Kurama scolded. “All you know are lies, twists, and gossip! How BORED with your lives are you people?! You have nothing else to do, but make travesty in another person’s grief!”

 

*****

 

            ‘Honoka Ann Kyle… c/o Elisa Kyle… 407 Maple St… London, England 70845…E-mail at: [email protected]

Kurama re-read the address for the fifth time. This was it; she wouldn’t be there anymore. She wouldn’t be there to listen… to talk…

the most she had to offer was her address for after her departure in Japan. It was a small thing to give, but its value was priceless to the redhead, and its thought, significant. Kurama sighed and pocketed the small sheet of paper- the words written on it done with expensive black ink. With memory like his, he was not afraid about forgetting to remove this article from his garments before washing- he would not blunder such a token of friendship up.

 

            Lying on his bed, with arms pulled behind his neck- he checked the clock on his nightstand. Ten- thirty. Time to sneak out. As he sat up, Kurama slid off the bed and opened the window in his room. Prior to leaving, he made sure to turn off all the lights and lock the door. Returning to the window, he set his foot on the pane and used leverage to launch him into a limb of the tree outside. The branch made a thrash, but not violent enough to arouse any attention. From there, he bounded down to the pavement and ran for the city block. Not wishing to take the bus to Genkai’s he whistled for a cab- paying the driver for the fare upon arriving at the front steps. So far, things were going without a hitch, and he hoped that his mother would not decide to check on him at night. Shiori wasn’t the type to safeguard her son every minute, but when suspicion flared…

 

            He shook his head. Nothing would go wrong. Everything would be fine. His mother was drained from working on spreadsheets all day; there was no way she would assume anything… For crying out loud… Why was he worrying? Kurama climbed up to the temple, breathing out deeply before opening the sliding door. Entering, he found Yusuke leaning against one of the walls with his arms closely folded, Kuwabara sitting cross-legged- looking pensive, Botan standing by Koenma’s side, and Genkai on the floor with Yukina- drinking tea.

 

            “Where’s Hiei?” Koenma asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he was in his adult form.

 

            “He’ll be here- I’m sure of it.”

 

            “Hn- baka.” Stepping out of one of the shadows at a corner of the room, Hiei looked at everyone with solemn. Eyes falling on Kurama, he replaced that appearance with a familiar smirk. “It’s not like you to arrive after me… Did you have difficulty?”

 

            The redhead smiled. It was amazing; they were in the same room- only a few feet in separation. Kurama walked toward him. “Not really…” He said casually. “ But I did have to wait a while… I didn’t want mother to awaken…”

 

            “So the two of you have been constrained…” Koenma impeded.

 

            Hiei trembled, and then gave the prince a scowl. “I take it you know then…”

 

            Kurama blinked.

 

            “Yes, and I’ve informed the others.”

 

            The two were held speechless for an instant, but they sank from the surprise in due time. The small demon contemplated the course by which this was going. “ I see…” he pronounced. “What have you tell us then? Evidently, this conference is not about another mission, but about the failure of the last one…”

 

            “Wait…”

 

            They turned to the redhead. Yusuke closed his eyes, air escaping his breath in preparation for the proposal. Kuwabara looked away, ready to vomit from the cold truth. As for the women in the group, they took what Koenma was about to say coolly.

 

            “Do you mean to say, “ Kurama went on. “That we will have to be PUNISHED, for what happened?

 

            “Not PUNISHED…” the prince verified. “…Simply… Limitations on your relationship…”

 

            “Limitations?” His eyes widened- altering from green to amber. “Limitations… as in, prohibitions… In other words, division between me and Hiei…”

 

            “In a matter of speaking.”

 

            He strided toward Koenma, slowly and in a marauding fashion. “You plan to do what everyone else has done… Don’t you?”

 

            Feeling ill at ease, the prince backed to the wall behind him. Kuwabara immediately stood from the floor and got out of the way, as did Yukina and Genkai. As for Botan, she abandoned her employer’s side.

 

            “I ought to KILL you…” Kurama snarled, grabbing the other by the garments and slamming him to the wall. “You have NO idea what I’ve been through… I’m more than willing to get blood on my hands right now… I’m tired of suppressing this hunger I have… Hunger to take reprisal… I hate humiliation… I hate desertion… You may know the secrets, but you don’t know the details…” He knocked the pacifier out of his mouth. “…I’m not afraid to hurt you…” Fingers diving into his red strands, Kurama pulled out a seed.  “Perhaps I should make you swallow this… You’re not human, and therefore, I have no guilt in showing you no mercy … But what to do with the plant, I wonder… Make it grow inside of you? Make it eat you inside-out?”

           

“Kurama…” Hiei approached from behind. “…Calm down…”

 

            “Don’t tell me to calm down!” He hissed. “I’ve thought living a human life was better, that real people had richer lives… I once believed in friendship… In loyalty and love… But now all I yearn for is to kill the people around me… Make them suffer…”

 

            He bore his teeth, revealing canines that were much sharper than usual- they were demonic. With one hand, he squeezed Koenma’s cheeks with his fingertips- forcing him to pucker his mouth open. In Kurama’s other hand, was the seed, ready to be planted. “Who cares? Let me commit this crime… I’ve done worse… Adultery… Thievery… Murder… Who cares about who I am? I shall live for the moment and KILL you now…”

 

            “You BETTER not…” To his right, Yusuke had one finger ready to fire. His hand was quaking visibly, as if frightened to release the trigger of his Rei gun. Kurama regarded him for a moment, but then laughed.

 

            “Oh, have you turned on me too?” He shifted his view to Kuwabara, who was, as expected, guarding Yukina and Botan while having his Rei ken at hand. “And you?” More laughter- sly giggling, and then a sigh. “Foolish, humans…” His eyes flickered. They were still golden. “They’ve stimulated a part of me that has long been dormant… I can’t say I’m not having fun…” Tongue dragging from corner to corner - his lips were saturated with saliva. “It has been good, Hiei… far better than my past lovers…”

 

            Making a fist, the demon strained to keep it to his side. “Kurama… Stop talking this way- you’re not yourself… You’re not the person I know to be you…”

 

            “Then who am I, Hiei? Tell me now…” Pushing Koenma’s cheeks closer together, his nails dug into his flesh and drew some blood. Koenma squirmed from his hold. Hiei loomed closer- his mind racing to figure out who on earth this person he made love with was now… What had he turned into?

 

            “Kurama…” he whispered. “You’re human…”

 

            “LIAR!” His nails clawed into the prince’s face, tearing his skin into shreds.

 

            “No… I’m not… You would NEVER hurt people this way unless it were your last resort… But even then, you don’t take pleasure in the blood that is lost…”

 

            “That’s not true… I LOVE the thrill of seeing fear in others… I LOVE torture… Sadistic actions…” Pausing, he licked the blood off of his victim’s face- everyone gasped in horror. Yukina bravened and was ready to step forward and aid in whatever way she could. “…It’s an adrenaline rush…” Kurama mused. “…It’s almost as good as a sex drive… To have people cry in front of you because they are helpless… Because they have no power or control… It makes my tremble with excitement…”

 

            Vines bursted through the windows- crawling and creeping about the walls. Botan screamed as parts of the plants ensnared her by the ankles and wrists. Genkai tried to make a barrier, but the ivy was too strong- it absorbed her power and grew still yet longer. Brown eyes broadening, Yusuke was alarmed to find that leaves completely wrapped around his hands and fingers- preventing him from using any form of Reiki. The fire youkai cut through the vines with his katana, lashing aggressively at the resistance.

 

“You are NOT the person I care about!” Hiei shouted. “Kurama had values! He was intelligent, and none could compare to him! Don’t you DARE take his place! You’re a fucking bastard!”

 

            “A bastard?” Additional laughter. “Now, you’re speaking with facts…” Kurama placed the seed inside Koenma’s mouth… And kissed him there lustfully.

 

            “STOP IT!” The demon charged at him, grabbing him from the back with both arms and pulling him away. In that second, Kurama raised an arm and struck Hiei brutally across the face- sending him skidding against the polished wooden floor, which was now plagued with leaves. When the momentum was lost, he picked himself up with his arms, one of his hands wiping at his lower lip. His hand smeared in thick dark red, telling him his lip had split a part. It wasn’t long until it began to throb and sting.

 

            The redhead froze, lifting his hands to examine them. Blood inside the nails. Blood on the palms. Dripping all over. Sticking to his skin. “Hiei…” He dropped on all fours.  “Hiei… I hurt you…”

 

            Hiei crawled to his lover, who had unexpectedly huddled into a ball. Reaching his side, he then put his arms around him, holding Kurama safe. In his embrace, Kurama began to cry- shaking and rocking like a child. Tenderly, the demon raised the other’s face with his fingers- relieved to find his friend’s eyes were back to their lovely shade of pine green.

 

            “Gomen nasai… I don’t know what happened to me… I don’t know why I acted that way…”

 

            “…You didn’t mean it… It was an accident…”

 

            “How do you know?” His lover sobbed. “How do you know it was an accident…if I don’t even understand what I’ve become…?”

 

            “Because… My feelings haven’t changed. If they had, then indeed you’ve become a monster… And that is something you will NEVER be…”