“Let’s Fly as the Birds Do…” Chapter Twelve

7/23/01

By: Hikari

E-mail to: [email protected]

Site: http://www.geocities.com/hikari_nanase/

Notes: Music theme to chapter: “Ring” From Please Save My Earth.

 

~*~*~*~

 

            If you want to be who you are, accept the pain the world throws at you.

 

            If you want to be true to your love, accept the scorn.

 

            If you want to be happy… Look for it in yourself.

 

~*~*~*~

 

            It wasn’t so bad. A few jeers here and there never hurt anyone. Suddenly, nothing seemed to matter at all. Who cares? One person spat on his shoe, but he dealt with that by socking him in the stomach after school and off campus. To hell with the shit. If he can keep his grades and, above all, keep Hiei by his side, then everything else was simply petty.

 

            In fact, Kurama would have called it a very good day today. Honoka had been so kind as to let him complain about all the stupid incidents that had occurred in the lapse of three suns. She would nod in understanding and compassion- never interrupting and always listening. When she had asked what it felt like to be kissed by his lover, Kurama closed his eyes and smiled slowly at remembering the feeling of the fire demon’s lips rest upon his… ‘It depends…’ The redhead answered. ‘…If he kisses me first, then it feels like little butterflies walking on my skin… and as he breathes, it feels as though those butterflies are beating their wings… But when I kiss him, when I kiss Hiei- I feel something very warm rise from my stomach and stretch across my chest. And when we kiss together- well… I can’t find the words to describe what I feel… But I know it’s nice…’

 

            So this day was ended with walking home unhurried. The fact that he had defended himself well against those who were brainless enough to attack him created something akin to an underground reputation. As a result, everyone seemed to have paved a way for him. The sorry kid who got his ribs cracked was in the hospital, and if Shuiichi could do such a thing in a single blow, then it would only be rational to get out of his way. Of course, this didn’t stop the pranks, name- calling, and bigotry crap. All the while, Haruhiko watched on in his own silent glory and pleasure. No one knew he was the notorious ‘Bird watcher’, but that only made everything so much sweeter. ‘Where did you get the chain from?’ ‘By some anonymous person- some guy called Bird watcher…’ ‘He’s good, to not get caught when taking the picture- I mean…’ He would hear short conversation like this go on an off throughout the day, and quietly he would laugh at the great feat he had accomplished in no less than a click on the mouse. He was, he knew, a corrupt genius.

 

            Kurama took his house keys from his pockets and tried to lodge them into the rusted keyhole. The rust from the lock always seemed to get on his nerves, as he would always have to push with his weight just to get the damn door open. All he could think about was getting inside, finding his friend, and maybe- for one night- share a shower with him. It had finally come to the point where the morality in his heart had grayed to no more than a negligible nuisance. He felt ashamed, however, of having rather oversexed daydreams swim around his head. It was almost weak, really- perhaps even evil. Since everyone detested the love he had for one of the same gender, it somehow became enchanting to make them more disgusted by making love with the little demon every chance he got…

 

            But that would be wrong, Kurama knew. It would not at all be the same as the first and ONLY night they had. It was special… that night. He could not deny the fact that he had been aching to show how he felt for a long time already. Consequently, when all the barriers broke down within the quiet confines of his bedroom- the moment had to be fulfilled. What he didn’t expect, however, was that Hiei had been experiencing the same emotions concurrently… That in itself made everything worth it. If the other felt the same way, what was to stop them?

 

            Easy. The world and its platitudes of old rules that are hypocritical to yet more hypocritical rules. Amusing. A counter sin for everything. No wonder a heart is destined to break. It doesn’t know which direction belongs to it, which direction is right, and which direction is foolish. Cease your true love, and you are lying to everyone including yourself. Show your true love, and you are damned to supposed lust.

 

            Was it lust they had that one solitary night? The hungriness inside both of them to just possess each other madly and come together in unspeakable heat?  He wasn’t sure anymore. Everyone’s subliminal messages were signaling toward that path.  

           

            Opening the door, he stumbled inside on cue as the door finally gave way to his efforts. The redhead wrung his palms and straightened his uniform, his eyes later rising to meet his mother who had her fists on either side of her hips.

 

            “Come upstairs to my room.”

 

            Shiori swiftly turned and climbed the stairs in unearthly strides. Her ankle-length skirt rolled from behind her movements in light waves- giving a foreboding air of unbelievable cold. Kurama’s hairs stood on end. Taking hold on the banister as he rose on the staircase, he felt a chill run its fingers all along his neck, arms, legs, and face. The redhead shook it off.

 

            At entering his mother’s bedroom, which was across the hall to his own, the door abruptly slammed on him. His head shifted faintly, his vision settling on his mother’s arm on the wood of the door. Following that arm, Kurama met an expression that had never found its way to Shiori’s face before. Now that it has… His heart pumped hard- not at all used to the kind of aura his mother was giving. 

 

“Shuiichi, did you sleep with him?”

 

            His green irises broadened at that. “Na- nani?”

 

            “You heard me, did you sleep with Hiei?”

 

            Kurama felt his knees begin to buckle from beneath him. How? How could his mother have possibly found out? Impossible! Having nearly the entire world hate him for his love interest was bad enough, but having his mother know- a Christian mother no less- was simply nightmarish. He swallowed inaudibly to himself as he searched for a chair, a table, anything he could use to help his support. In the end, he resorted to pulling his arms behind his back and gripping his hands together tightly as if Hiei were the one holding him.

 

            “Shuiichi, speak up now. I’m trying to be patient with you, but at the moment I’m finding it terribly difficult to do so…”

 

            “I…”

 

            He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t do it. The redhead could live with having everyone else take repugnance in him, but his mother- flesh and blood. To tell her the truth would hurt her- disappoint her. Doing such a thing to Shiori was unheard of to Shuiichi- to Kurama, likewise. 

 

            “I- I did not.”

 

            At his weak reply, Shiori inhaled deeply- allowing her shoulders to sway with slight tension. “Then what was that bloodstain I found in your sheets?”

 

            Bloodstain. Hiei’s wound.

           

“It certainly wasn’t YOUR blood.” His mother continued petulantly. “You have no wounds…” Out of the blue, she grabbed her son sharply by the arm. Kurama could not help, but gasp in surprise and shock.

 

            “Answer me!” Her voice cried, some hot tears leaving her painfully fluttering eyes. “Tell me the truth Shuiichi-kun! Did you or did you not have sex with that… with that boy!”

 

            The way she was holding him made Kurama bend down to the floor slightly. From where he was, he looked up to her with his now darkened eyes, and then took them away from hers when he realized he was incapable of facing his mother’s hurt.

 

“…I… did… Okaasan.... I slept with him… I slept with Hiei…”

 

            Finally, she let him go. His arm felt as though it was on fire- totally numb and would not obey his body’s commands to remain poised. In the mean time, Shiori’s delicate form trembled like glass that was about to rupture. Small pink lips, belonging to her, pierced each other in uncertainty. When she spoke again, her voice shuddered along with the rest of her frame.

 

            “How could you, Shuiichi? Why? Did I not raise you with any pure values at all? Any morals?”

 

            Dark hair in tangling strands draped about her sorrowful face. In an explosion, she took her son by the shoulders and began to shake him violently as she cried harder.

 

            “You lost your virginity! You lost your virginity! Do you know how sacred something like that is?! Have I taught you nothing?! My son, my only child had sex at sixteen! And not only that, he did it with another boy! I don’t know who you are anymore! Shuiichi, what else haven’t you told me? What other secrets do you have?! I’m now questioning how far you’ve taken advantage of my trust in the past! Shuiichi, why?!”

 

            “I… Hiei- Hiei and I- we’ve known each other for a long time… and…”

 

            “You love him? Is that what you want to say? You love Hiei?”

 

            Nodding with little strength, he admitted. “Yes.”

 

            “Shuiichi, that couldn’t possibly be REAL love! It’s cupidity! You’re both men! It’s hopeless for there to be any sort of relationship between the two of you! Men who sleep with each other are only there for one thing, and that’s sex in itself! Don’t you understand that? You may not realize it, but that’s the way it is! And if you DO care about that boy, then maybe Hiei is the one taking advantage of you! Do you realize what kind of danger you’ve put yourself in? You could be sick now, and we don’t even know it!”

 

            “But it was the first time for the both of us!” The redhead all at once argued. “We didn’t know what was happening! It just… It just happened… We didn’t plan it… If that’s what you think… And Hiei would never fool with my faith in him like that…”

 

            “You mean in the way you did with me?”

 

            Right there, Kurama’s mouth shut on him.

 

            “Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, you and your ‘friend’ are coming with me to the clinic to have you checked out. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the two of you… But have NO doubt in your mind that I will be thinking about it all tonight.”

 

            The sound of her cold and harsh tone was completely alien to Kurama’s ears. Never before had he heard or seen her so furious. Emotions gripped Shiori every which way. Somehow, having had the ideal son for so many years, she couldn’t cope with the unforeseen flaw. To her, Shuiichi was pure white. But after finding that single smudge of dried copper blood on his bed sheet- her son became marked with the dirtiest of stains.

 

            “Leave. Please leave. I’m so- so angry with you that I can’t see straight… I almost want to- to HIT you, but I can’t do that… I DON’T want to do that- so leave. I don’t want to look at you right now…”

 

            Without a sound, Kurama followed her order. Closing the door to her room behind him, he leaned against it dully.

 

            “Gomen- gomen nasai… Kaasan…”

 

            He was crying again. CRYING. He had finally gotten close to over the disgrace at school, but now he was back to where he started- shattered in the blink of an eye.

 

            “Gomen nasai!”

 

            Shiori watched from the other side as her son’s shadow sank to the bottom of the door. Clearly, he had finally collapsed after having to hold his heavy body up for what felt like centuries.

 

            “For some reason… I know you are…”

 

 Her reply came out in a shallow whisper. Like her son, she couldn’t stand any further- she was sprawled on the floor… with one hand gripping the silky material of her long floral skirt.

 

“But, Shuiichi… You’ve deceived me… How could you have done that to me? My son… he lied to me… My son lied to me…”