Note: Change "Memuro"'s name completely afterwards. I just can't think of a good name for him right now.
Hajime Ryuu

"...Anyways, let's begin the first registration. As this is the first day and we don't exactly have the classes set up yet, I decided we should all introduce ourselves. I'll be your tutor for the year, which means that if you people get into trouble, I'll have to hear about it, something that I don't want to do. My surname is Sakada, which means that from hereon, you shall refer to me as "Sakada-sensei". Even if you figure out my given name, you are not permitted to use it unless I give you express permission. I hold power over your lives for this year, so I suggest you keep that in mind."

Sakada, finally having finished his own introduction, looked at the group, before picking off the first victim.

"Memuro, Takashi."

The intended victim, upon hearing his name called, seemed to freeze, not even bothering to stand. Sakada called out his name twice more before finally shouting.

"Memuro! Either get up here or I go through the records, find out who you are, and make it so you'll never be able to live this down!"

This time, the target reacted. A young man with short purple hair and pink eyes literally jumped up.

"Ah! Hai!" Upon saying that, he stiffly stepped to the front, where everyone could see him.

"...Umm... I'm Takashi Memuro..." After a few minutes pause, Sakada finally made him say something else.

"Interests?"

"Eh?"

"Tell us your interests!"

"Umm... shoujo animation..." 

Before he could say anything else, the entire class burst out laughing, with quite a few of the guys giving shouts about him being a girl. Even Sakada joined in the laughter, saying something about never letting Takashi live this down.

*****

"Haaaa... Another great way to introduce myself..." Takashi sighed, having found himself a table to melt into, as a man with short black hair comforted him.

"Well, look at it this way Memuro-kun. You've always got next year." Takashi's response to it was to snort slightly.

"You can only introduce yourself to a new school once per school! And I managed to mess that up again..."

"Oh come on Memuro-kun, you've only messed it up four, maybe five times..." Upon hearing that, Takashi seemed to turn to stone.

"It's been that many times..." As soon as he finished saying that, he metaphorically fell apart, leaving his childhood friend to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

"Come on, it's not that bad! You can get out of this! Look at it this way: Now everyone in school might think you're a lesbian." Naturally, this caused a vein to pop out of his head.

"I'm not a lesbian! I'm not even female!" He stopped a second, before sighing once more. "Haaaa... I guess that means once again, my dreams of love will be crushed..." Of course, his seemingly random reactions had attracted quite a lot of attention, and Takashi's friend just stood there, embarrassed, a sweat drop slipping down his head as he tried to stop his friend from making the scene even worse.

"Do you have to speak so loud? You're everyone's staring at us..." Once again, Takashi's response was to simply sight and melt further into the table.

"I don't get it... What's wrong with me, Ryuu-kun?" The person he was addressing, Hajime Ryuu, had been his friend since they were both children. His hair was short and black, in a style very similar to his friends, and his eyes were a shade of yellow that could almost be described as golden. Unfortunately for him however, this was something poor Hajime had to deal with almost daily: Yet a new issue Takashi had in his attempts to go out with someone of the opposite gender. As such, he had managed to get adept at this.

"There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that the rest of the world are idiots. There's probably at least one female in the world that would like to go out with someone who watches the same kind of cartoons as them..." Hajime said, keeping his voice monotone. In fact, one could almost say it was monotone.

For whatever reason however, this did not comfort the depressed Takashi, and finally Hajime sighed and gave in.

"All right, all right, we'll get you some sugar to cheer you up after school." Almost instantly, Takashi lit up.

"Seriously?! You'll do that for me, Ryuu-kun?! You're the best friend I've ever had and probably ever will have!" With that, Takashi happily jumped up and disappeared, leaving Hajime to wonder why the two were friends in the first place.

After school ended, the two walked through Tokyo together, looking for a place that had some good tasting form of carbohydrates, preferably in the form of Glucose or some sort of inverse sugar. As the two passed through, they chatted about random things, but as always with Takashi, it wound up somehow being about Takashi's love life... or lack thereof, considering that Takashi had never been on a date in his life.

"I don't understand it... why don't girls want to have a nice, sensitive guy for a boyfriend?" Takashi continued, with Hajime quickly responding.

"Females are like wild animals. They can smell desperation." Takashi probably would have argued that Hajime's statement was wrong, but he didn't hear it, as he finally found his target.

"Come on, Ryuu-kun! This is the place!" Hajime took one look at it and winced.

"Memuro-kun... this is one of the most well-known date spots in town..." Before he could finish, Takashi had countered it.

"Come on! It's not like I'll have a date anytime soon, and I'd at least like to feel the atmosphere... besides, I hear they have the best desserts here!" Under the assault, Hajime had to give in.

<i>Maybe the reason why you don't get any dates is because all the girls think we're a couple.</i> Hajime thought to himself, resisting the urge to say it.

And so, Takashi had his dessert, whilst Hajime simply stared off into space in Takashi's direction, drinking bottled water. It was around the time Takashi finished eating that Hajime noticed something.

"Hey, isn't that..." He stopped, and instantly looked around to see if he could get the bill before something bad happened. Of course, Hajime's beginning of the sentence simply piqued Takashi's curiosity.

"Isn't that what? What is it, Ryuu-kun?" Takashi asked, looking in the direction that Hajime was looking, trying to find what it was he was looking at. Hajime quickly stood up and rushed to block Takashi's way, but it was too late. Takashi had indeed spotted what the big panic was about: A few tables down, a couple of teenagers, older than the two of them, were drinking the same milkshake simultaneously. However, that wasn't the key thing. The important part was the fact that Takashi happened to know one of them.

"Ah... Ah... Onii-san?!!" His face contorted several times as he froze in shock. Hajime did what he could and quickly grabbed Takashi's hands, keeping him away from any silverware or other potential weapons.

"Onii-san's dating ANOTHER girl?! That's the fourth one this week! He can't get away with that double-timing! We can't let him get away with it!" Hajime, moving quickly as always, paid the bill and dragged Takashi out of that place fast enough that Takashi didn't have time to attempt any physical assault on his brother. After such a thing, there was only one thing Hajime could do: Make sure that Takashi made it back to his home without significant incident, and he managed to pull that off quite well.

Thus, Takashi was alone in his room, nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. He collapsed onto his bed, speaking aloud to himself, as he always did.

"It's not fair... how come that guy, who rampantly abuses love so much, has everyone love them, even while he leaves them for someone else, while I, who understand that love's the most important thing in life, have no one?" He sighed to himself again, pondering the sick manipulative ways of the galaxy.

"Kami-sama, please give me some sort of indication that we're not related... If it's some thing about him being superior genetic material, I can deal with that, but if we're the same genetically, why is it that he has everything he could possibly want, but I only want one thing and can't even have that?" He stood up, and pulled out some of his comics, looking through them, before finally picking one up, lying back down on his bed, and reading it.

Upon finishing it, he found himself once again lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, talking to himself.

"It's always been my dream, to be in love and have someone that loves me more than anything else in the world... I guess I should get used to the fact that it's only going to be a dream, huh..."

The next day, Hajime was forced to once again listen to Takashi's somewhat distorted rambling.

"-I'm telling you, that's really weird! I mean, who has a dream about contemplating dreams? Isn't there some sort of paradox in there?" Hajime took this opportunity to interject.

"No, a paradox would be dreaming about being awake, or having a normal conversation with someone while you're sleeping. Dreaming about dreaming doesn't count as a paradox." Takashi's response was to sigh once more.

"Come on, there has to be some sort of reality paradox I can exploit to get the world the way it should be again... Honestly, if the opposite gender weren't so shallow, I'd have girls lining up to date me!" And while any females within earshot glared evilly at Takashi, the author of this story deftly avoided such glares from any females nearby by writing this in the middle of the night. Of course, Hajime had to fight in favor of the gender of femininity.

"Come on, it's not like they're just looking at looks here... I mean, your brother's athletic, in the top 100 for the nation, and knows exactly what to say and when to say it..."

"But he's scum! Why can no one understand that! Do you know there's only one game character that I compare him too? And do you know where that character's from? The-" Before he could finish, Hajime cut him off.

"First, I thought you knew better than to badmouth your brother when chances are 80% of the females nearby not only know who he is, but also have a crush on him. Second... if you want to live, you won't compare your brother to that character in public. For all you know, your brother might have an assassin madly in love with him." Once the sentence ended, Takashi shuddered slightly.

"Don't remind me... Yukari Tanaka was scary..."

"I remember her... what happened in the end, anyways?"

"My brother convinced her he was a secret agent for the CIA in America. He promised to meet her there in five years, but she jumped a plane to America within a week. She's probably still there looking for him... I hope..."

Yes, their average conversation DID consist of stories about random females Takashi's brother dated, and then managed to find some way to trick them out of not going out with him again, without them hating his guts. That was, after all, his specialty. 

Of course, the previous day's homeroom had gone down in history already, and it had led to a lot of laughing being made at Takashi's expense. Not even Hajime was willing to come close to him until the heat died down a little, and their only other conversation during the day was at lunch.

"Ryuu-kun, help me out a little here. How am I supposed to get people to like me here?"

"Erm... Can this wait until Monday? I'm going out with Suzuhara-san today, and-" Once again, before Hajime could finish his sentence, Takashi cut him off.

"Suzu... Suzuhara-san? How's she doing lately? I didn't even know you two were still in contact..." Once Takashi's speech started to trail off into rambling, Hajime realized his mistake.

"Suzuhara-san's fine, Memuro-kun. But...how about you? Are you sure you're fine with this? I mean, considering your history..." Naturally, Takashi just waved Hajime off.

"Oh, don't you worry about me! You two make sure to have a good time together! Who am I to stand in your way? Make sure to tell me all about it on Monday, all right?" Hajime simply nodded and wandered off, keeping his distance from Takashi for the remainder of the day.

Once the time finally came for Takashi to head off to the place he defined as home on his own, he wound up finding himself in the Ginza district, talking to himself.

"Suzuhara-san and Ryuu-kun... I never would have pictured those two as a couple... But then, I guess I'm supposed to be the only person alone... I must have done something really bad in a past life, for Kami-sama to be taunting me like this..." Before he could finish his rambling, an explosion hit the Ginza district. Well, one couldn't really call it an explosion, as there was no pyrotechnics, but the force of the sonic boom was something to be reckoned with, and little was left standing within the range of it. By some freak chance, Takashi managed to be close enough to hear the explosion-like sound, but not close enough to be more adversely affected by it than having a headache. Naturally, he did what human curiosity drives one to do in such a circumstance: Head towards the scene of whatever it was before anyone else. As luck would have it, he was in fact the first one there, and noticed that in the center of a newly discovered crater in the middle of the Ginza district, there was some sort of capsule, just large enough to hold a human being and some equipment.

And within this capsule, someone was recovering from a less than restful sleep and landing. A blue haired girl approximately the same age as Takashi grunted as sensory information returned to her brain, indicating that every limb in her body hurt, even ones that had no nerves, and as such shouldn't feel anything at all.

"Comfortable trip my ass!" She shouted, as he vented her anger on the console within the pod. The console's response was pre-programmed with every bit of mocking cheerfulness it could mutter.

"Congratulations, Chitose Sawamura! I trust you had a comfortable trip!" This prompted another prompt attack at the console, which responded with more frustrating information.

"You have been dead for: Negative. Two. Hundred. Years. The fact that your body was molecularly recreated after things stopped means this was a success." She hit the console one more time, and the opaque top opened up, revealing... Well, natural light first off, because the crater wasn't that deep, and of course, lots of dirt and rock, as the crater WAS that deep.

She pushed a few more buttons on the console, opening up a compartment, within which was something similar to a palmtop, and some headphones with a microphone attached to it. She pulled out the two hid them within her pockets, before stepping out of the machine and climbing up out of the newly formed crater. As soon as she managed to get out of the crater, she closed her eyes and waved her head around, trying to get out any dirt that could be removed from her hair without any true hygienic activity. After all, if things went well, she wouldn't have time for one, but she might as well look as good as possible for the duration of the mission, especially considering its dependencies on social skills. Of course, as soon as she opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with Takashi almost causing her to jump backwards right into the crater, before quickly responding. Instantly noticing the familiar face.

"Ah! What are you doing here?! What happened, did something mess up somewhere?" Takashi simply looked at her, as confused as she was, before speaking some gibberish that sounded familiar, but didn't really make a whole lot of sense. After taking a few minutes of trying to interpret it, she sighed and opened up the palmtop, hooking up the headset and microphone, and recorded a bit of Takashi's speech before wearing the headset and speaking into it.

"PID, tell me what language that is." The palmtop, speaking in the same cheery voice as the capsule, made one quick statement.

"Query has found one file. Would you like to play it?" She paused a moment, wondering why something like that came up, before saying a simple yes. Once the file began playing, a familiar voice showed up.

"Hey you idiot! I told you to get prepared for this ahead of time, didn't I? You're always so foolish... I can't always be there to fix up your problems you know. Fortunately for you, I saw this one coming ahead of time, because I knew there was no way you could be bothered to do something as simple as look up the language of where you were going to..." Chitose growled at the machine, but the message continued on, regardless.

"Anyways, you should recognize about 60% of the words they're using. This isn't a different language, but a dialect. To be precise, this is the Old Tokyo dialect. The PID should be displaying the grammatical differences between modern Japanese and old Tokyo dialect as I speak." Chitose quickly looked at the screen of the palmtop, and found that indeed, the necessary information was appearing on it. She quickly read through it, and growled as she found one of the supposed differences between modern Japanese and the Old Tokyo dialect.

"Oh, yeah. In case you didn't figure it out, Chitose ISN'T the word for foolish in this dialect, I just thought I should point out who didn't study the proper information for getting things done. Now of course, even though we call this 'Old Tokyo dialect', it's modern Japanese where you are right now, so you'd better figure it out fast. Then again, you always were a quick learner, weren't you? Shame you could never keep focused on anything." Chitose continued to glare at the palmtop, as if daring it to continue. And indeed, it did.

"Anyways, that should be about everything. By the time this speech is done, the dialect information will have been turned into its own file, and this speech will self-destruct. Why? I know you've got lots of space, but hey, you won't need this to remember me now, will you?" And after a quick check, Chitose found that it did indeed speak the truth. The dialect information was now in its own file, and the area of the hard drive that used to contain the speech now consisted of many binary 0's, and nothing else. After taking a brief moment to calm herself down, she spoke to Takashi, trying her best to use the ancient dialect.

"It is very nice to meet you. My name is Chitose Sawamura. What is your honorable name?" Takashi blinked for a few moments, trying to gauge the seemingly random mood-swings Chitose seemed to be having, before deciding to make a response.

"Nice to meet you, Sawamura-san. My name is Takashi Memuro." Upon hearing the name, Chitose smiled evilly slightly.

<i>This is going to be easier than I thought. My target just wanders into my hands...</i>

Takashi noticed the evil smile, however, and did the logical thing.

"Umm... why are you smiling like that?" Chitose quickly raised up her hands in an overly defensive position.

"Nothing, nothing at all!" She paused a moment, before deciding to try something else. "Hm... Memuro-san, would you mind taking a walk with me?" Of course, Takashi wasn't one to refuse a request from a girl, especially one that he had already classed as cute. And so, the two headed away from the scene of the accident, eventually finding themselves in a park, whilst Chitose began to explain why she was here.

"Well, I guess I should start at the start. Two hundred years, there was a man with a freak genetic mutation. This genetic mutation made him virtually irresistible to women, no matter what their taste in men was. We nicknamed this genetic mutation the "Playboy gene". This man wound up having 100 children, though not even one actually wound up being taken care of by him. Of course, the problem didn't get any better, as all of his children retained this genetic mutation, as well as being male, allowing this seed to be spread. Each of these 100 children did like their father and had 100 children, not actually taking care of any of them. Over the span of only a few generations, virtually all economies and their governments collapsed due to overpopulation, underemployment, and increased demands on public funding. From all the chaos, several new governments were formed, in an attempt to manage the population. However, even with carefully monitoring pregnancies and births, it's estimated that it'll take about 500 years before the population will be reduced enough for decentralized economics to work. Of course, this was an unacceptable option. Even though we managed to find a way to remove the Playboy gene without it being fatal to the target, we wouldn't be able to repair the economy. A more acceptable option, therefore, was to prevent it all from happening in the first place. As such, I've been sent 200 years in the past - to your time - to remove the Playboy gene from the target, thus preventing the spread any of it from ever happening." Takashi nodded along with the speech, but seemed to find something wrong with that. He spoke up.

"But wouldn't that prevent you from ever going back in the past to fix it? And if that were to happen, wouldn't it mean that it did occur, which in turn would mean that you did go into the past, causing yourself to have never gone to the past? Wouldn't that... I don't know, destroy the space-time continuum as we know it?" Chitose blinked a couple minutes before responding.

"You're ok with me coming from the future, but you're not ok with my reason for coming from the future?" Takashi's response was quick and simple.

"Of course!" Chitose narrowed her eyes, reminded once again of someone she knew, and growled.

"Why do I have to deal with..." She quickly snapped back to reality, and quickly pulled out a gun-like thing with a syringe pointing out of it. "Anyways! Our research has found that our target is Takashi Memuro... In other words, you." Takashi blinked a couple minutes before asking the obvious.

"Me?"

"That is correct. You. You are the cause of all the problems in the future. Now, just submit and this will be nice and simple and I can get on with my life."

"Oh no, you want my brother, trust me on this."

"Incorrect. YOU are the source of our problems. Research has proven it." She then pointed the gun at Takashi.

"Now. Submit or be subdued. It's that simple." Takashi, fueled by desperation, charged at Chitose, causing the gun's aim to change in the struggle. To make matters worse, the gun accidentally fired, sending the syringe up into the air... causing both to stop and watch the syringe as it plunged into some random passerby's head. The syringe, obeying the technology built into it, automatically injected the solution into the poor random victim's body, causing said person to quickly pass out, and causing Chitose to go into a panic.

"Oh no! This isn't good! I just gave some guy cancer!" Takashi raised an eyebrow, and queried Chitose.

"...Cancer?"

"Well, because these adjust genetic structure, these things have to be custom-tailored for the individual's DNA. If they aren't, they distort the genetic structure within the body, causing cancer."

"Ok then. Whatever you did, you messed up. Do you have any way to fix it?"

"Do you think we'd be dumb enough to bring along a counter-solution?"

"Point. So, how are you going to get this all fixed up?"

"Well, I'll just have to go back to the future, get everything together, then come back here and blast you."

"Which brings up something you never answered: How did you go back in time anyways? It's not like telling me will affect anything, seeing as how the proper technology probably won't exist during my lifetime anyways."

"Hmm... Well, I don't see any harm in telling you. Actually, your time has already theorized a couple ways. At the speed of light, travel between any spot is instantaneous to the traveler. With this in mind, if it were possible to go faster than the speed of light, one would move backwards through time. Of course, at such a speed, it's impossible for most molecules to hold themselves together, but with enough experimentation, we found it was possible to return the molecules to normal after passing through time. That's how we finally got it to work."

"So... with that in mind, how do you get back?" Chitose froze up after Takashi's question.

"...What?" Takashi elaborated for Chitose's benefit.

"If you go back in time by going past the speed of light, how do you go forwards in time?" Once again, Chitose froze up, before consulting the palmtop once more.

"PID! How do I get back to the present?!" The cheery voice of the machine spoke up once more.

"Query has found one file. Would you like to play it?" Despite the feeling of trepidation she was feeling, she uttered a yes, and once again heard the voice she didn't want to hear.

"Hey you idiot! I told you to get prepared for this ahead of time, didn't I? You're always so foolish... I can't always be there to fix up your problems you know. Fortunately for me, I saw this one coming ahead of time, because I knew there was no way you could be bothered to do something as simple as look up the physics of what you were going to use..." Chitose growled at the machine, noting the similarity to the other message. The message continued.

"Anyways, seems you've finally noticed the loophole. You can go backwards, but there's no way to go forwards in time! Honestly, you didn't know this was a one-way mission? Why do you think you were the only one to volunteer? Hope you like the past! If nothing changes, no one will be there to rescue you! ...But then, if things change you won't get any help either, since we'll never even know about your blast into the past..." Chitose resisted the urge to throw the palmtop onto the ground and stomp on it repeatedly, as the mention continued to talk.

"Anyways, this message will delete itself once it's finished! Why? As you've figured out by now, you won't be needing this anymore! See you in the history books, foolish Chitose!" Chitose snarled as the message finished playing, and went into a rather large speech about how infuriating the writer of the messages were, before finally collapsing from the realization of her own doom. Takashi, being the nice person that he was(1), helped Chitose get back to a standing position, whilst asking the question a person would probably ask.

"Are you all right, Sawamura-san?" Of course, for the most part, Chitose didn't hear him. She simply rambled out her answer.

"I'm trapped two hundred years in the past, I've given some guy cancer, and I haven't even managed to complete my mission..." As soon as Takashi finished hearing the sentence, he jumped up, grabbed Chitose's hands, and spoke to her.

"Then there's only one thing to do: I'll help you complete your mission!"

"You'll swear a vow of celibacy?" Chitose asked, hopefully. Takashi's reaction simply made him look depressed and he told his story.

"That's unlikely to make a difference. My entire life, I've always dreamt of having a girlfriend... however, despite that, I've never even been on a date before in my life..." Chitose quickly interpreted the information she was given.

"Huh? But that would mean that... our information was wrong..." Takashi, having taken the moment to recover, jumped up once more.

"Don't worry! I know the solution! Your information was almost right: My brother's the one you're after! I'm almost positive of it! Together, we'll save the future!" Of course, Chitose asked the logical question.

"How?" Takashi's response sounded almost scientific in tone, despite how insane what was actually said was.

"That answer is simple. We'll simply destroy my brother's love life before he can do anything. He is thus prevnted from impregnating anyone, and the future is corrected."

"...This is a hair-brained scheme isn't it?" Takashi looked offended at Chitose's question.

"Of course not! I've got over two hundred plans to for this, but I've always needed another person, and Hajime didn't want to get involved..." Chitose sighed slightly, and gave into Takashi's demands. It's not like she had any better ideas...

"Can I at least meet this person before we try to ruin his life?"

"Of course of course! Just follow me, and I'll show you around our home!" With that, Takashi began walking for his home, Chitose following from whatever distance from Takashi she could deem as safe.

Once Chitose got to where Takashi's family lived, Chitose remarked about it.

"It seems a little simple for the family house of the man who spawned a never-ending plague of children... I guess I kind of expected something fancier from such an important person..." She said, prompting a response from Takashi.

"Well, space is expensive in Japan. The way my parents say it, it took them most of their working lives to get this place. It's not too bad though. I mean, owning a two-story high house is pretty impressive, believe it or not. Anyways, I'll show you around the place." With that, Takashi unlocked the front door, pulled off his shoes, and placed them on a nearby shelf, before showing Chitose around.

"This right here is the kitchen... I don't know what sort of utensils they have in the future, but they haven't really changed a whole lot since they first existed, so I'm sure that if you're hungry you'll be able to make something." He said, pointing to the door on his left, before continuing through, showing off all the rooms one by one and describing them, before reaching one room in particular on the second floor.

"And that... is the Demon's Lair." Chitose blinked upon hearing that.

"The Demon's Lair?"

"My brother's room. When I was younger, I didn't understand what all the noises coming from his room were... mostly it was moans, screams... those sorts of things... when I asked my brother about it, he told me that a demon abducted young women at night and tortured them in there, and if he tried to do something about it, it would kill him. Of course, I got an eye-opener once I tried to stop the demon once and for all... And the name stuck." He continued on, pointing to a room at the end of the hall.

"That room on the right is mine. Across from it is the guest room. That's where you'll be staying, if you want." Chitose bowed towards Takashi in response.

"Thank you for your generosity. I'm sorry to impose upon you..." Takashi simply waved it off.

"There's no need for that, really. After all, you're going to help me save the future from being destroyed by my brother! That's a good enough reason for you to have the room!"

Author's Notes:
1: When he wasn't thinking about the fact that he's never had a date in his life and whatever random paradoxes came his way of course.