| Founder And Creator Of hiimhomeless: James M. Flaherty - Established 6/14/03 |
| Newyears Dream 1/01/2005 6:00 a.m. |
| I'm staying at Ron Peirce's Print shop, on Yosemity blvd. I have been babysitting Rons Print Shop at night for about two months now and have had some private quality time for a change. The Mission will drive you crazy if you don't get a break from some of the people that go there. God bless their hearts. After midnight, bringing in the new year, I quickly drift off to sleep in my mummy bag. A conscious dream mode puts me on a river bank by the waters edge, somewhere between Arkansas and Texas. I feel a strong presence of my father close by. He is right here beside me. My mind is brilliantly alive with the awareness that both of us are together after all these years. I'm feeling deep, deep, emotions now, absorbing every moment of where we are and what we are doing. We drove up in an old chevy car that gives me a feeling of when I was a child and when my father was still alive. Isn't he alive now? He's right here with me. We are together - reminding me of many years that we were not. Partly because of him and later because of my choosing. With a steep, dirt hill behind us, and a muddy swirling river in front of us, the moment stands still. |
| My Fathers name is Kenneth Harris Flaherty. At the moment he looks about 39 or 43 yrs old. He's cleaned up and looking neat in appearance. He's wearing a button up shirt with the cuffs folded back two times, and he has his shirt tucked in. He prefers casual slacks or jeans, with some kind of black or dark brown dress shoe or loafer. He's holding a pole in his hand with a cardboard worm box and lid on top, so the worms won't get away. Now he's squatting down to bait his hook and cast his line in the water. I am very curiouse about this being a place that we went a long time ago, when I was a child, or just something I am imagining or possibly wanting. Thinking of these things, I turn to him and say, "have we ever been here before?" Everything starts to get foggy. I'm waking up. It was a dream. I'm awake now. My heart is hurting with very strong emotion and feelings of sadness. I want my father, I want my father, I want my father. He's gone now, with a realization that it was all a dream, and he is not coming back. Why didn't I go to him when he called me on the phone. Why didn't I put everything aside and make him a priority for the first time. I denied him his last wishes to see his son. How could I have done that to him. It was so wrong, so wrong. |
| My dad worked in the oil fields and mentioned many times how he made real good money, but the work was hard and the hours were long. He also finished cement, and did other labor type construction jobs on the side. He was a Veteran from the Army and spent some time in Korea. There was once kept an old picture of him, when he was in Korea, wearing one of those white, oriental robes with a black, tie belt. He looked really cool. My father was only 5-9, but was built like an atlas and was very athletic. He played baseball as a pitcher and led his high school to a first place league championship, two years in a row. I remember him teaching me how to throw a ball when I was in second grade. He showed me the nuckle ball, the drop ball, and the curve ball. We were currently living in Hughson, Ca. after moving from Eastern Texas. He always combed his hair back like they did in the 50s and 60s. Living in the country near hope and tyler Arkansas, with the woods full of wild animals and a smoke house full of meat, kenneth grew up to be a healthy young man. The whole family hunted and fished alot. He was raised up to believe it was o.k. to drink alchohol and developed a taste for beer at a young age. My father was smart and had alot of potential. He once said that out of all his five brothers, none of them would mess with him. They knew not to push him around. He was a go getter. My Dad told me a story one time, about the family pet, old blue. Their house was about 7 miles from the main rd. and one day old blue had gotten hit by a car on the highway. Old blue's back legs were broken, but he managed to drag himself all the way home by his front legs. Old blue lived, but he was crippled and had some trouble walking.. My dad and grandpa always liked talking about the good old days. I led my Dad in the sinners prayer, on the phone, over 10 yrs ago. And I believe he is saved. Even though I miss him and sometimes have dreams about him, one day I will see my Father again, face to face, in Heaven. James M. Flaherty |
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