Violation of the Sixth
Commandment
chapter 1
by Varon
Do you know how much I miss you?
No, you probably have no idea. Why should you? After all, I'm officially out of your life.
Yes, it's been six years. But you were never far from me. Hah, I come to visit every now and then, but I never showed up at your door. I come and go without you knowing I was ever here. But that wasn't the closeness I was talking about. I watch you, every single day you set off to school and each following night when you burrow under the covers... with him. Your husband. Sometimes I could take it, simply watching you from a crystal ball in Makai (or, to be really sneaky, from atop a building and peering into your bedroom window) as you go about your morning to evening activities -- doing the laundry, washing the dishes, tending to your mini-garden, brushing your hair in front of your dresser, reading a novel, watching late-night shows -- and my wildest fantasies would just come alive, with you in them, of course. And I wouldn't feel bitter at all; if anything these daydreams amuse me somewhat. But when your "man" takes you in his arms and pulls you to bed... those were the nights I knew I had to say goodnight early. Besides those moments being too private (and none that I would consider viewing, under any circumstances), those instances remind me more of what I'm missing. Of the "what it could have been."
Of the "what it SHOULD have been".
I know I should stop observing you like some hired private detective, but I just couldn't bring myself to stay away. Still, mine's a stupid "job" to pursue; for in all the days I watch over you, peace doesn't come to me. Instead I realized all the more how much I actually ache to hold you again, to smell you, to feel your hair brush against my skin...
Six years ago I promised I would return. But the day I arrived, you married another man.
I never should have let time separate us. We lost in his game. But I've got no one to blame -- except maybe myself. Because I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
I've been the pretender all this time, Keiko. Forgive me, but I can't pretend anymore.
"Sayonara, Sensei!" Little Fujiko gaily called out to her. Keiko beamed at the little girl, and ahe leaned over and planted a motherly kiss on the child's plump cheek.
Soon after the rest of her elementary class flocked over to her, begging for kisses. Keiko laughingly obliged. When everybody was satisfied, the teacher shooed her pupils off to their homes or school buses.
With a wistful expression on her face, Keiko watched the kids go. As the big, red-and-yellow school bus inched its way out of the parking lot, she saw little faces pressed close to the glass, waving to her. She raised her arm and waved back.
She returned to her classroom, and began arranging her things. Humming a tune she patiently collected the pieces of paper into a pile, stopping every so often to scrutinize a student's handiwork. She placed the chalk and eraser inside her drawer. She stacked the books on the shelf behind her desk, thinking, Yes, it had been a good day.
"What about me, Sensei?"
Keiko froze, her hand and dictionary in midair, her smile dissolving all of a sudden.
The voice.
It was all too familiar.
"Don't I get a kiss, too?"
His -- his voice. The voice she didn't get to hear for over six years...
The playful tone got to her. Slowly she lowered her arm and turned to look over her shoulder.
True enough, there he was, leaning against the doorframe, a tentative smile on his lips. Her breath caught.
"W-what do you want?" Keiko asked shakily.
Urameshi Yusuke took a step forward. "How have you been, Keiko?"
Keiko just glared back at him, not knowing how to respond. Conflicting emotions welled up in her: surprise, joy, sorrow, anger, hurt. For a full minute they just stared at each other, as if absorbing each other's presence. Absently she noted that he definitely looked better than the last time she'd seen him, which was, when, six years ago? Keiko's mind whirred with a thousand questions, but she opted to pick up from his.
"How have I been?" she repeated in a curt tone. "I've been fine, actually."
He nodded. "That's good to know --"
"And if you're wondering," Keiko cut in, "yes, I AM married." She pointedly glanced at the gold band on her finger.
Yusuke's smile faltered. Keiko took advantage of his change of facade.
"I'm leading a normal life, Yusuke," Keiko continued. "And now you pop up behind me like some jack-in-the-box, asking for a kiss? Are you crazy?"
"Look," Yusuke snapped, "I just thought I'd check on you, alright? Is that so wrong to do?"
"Check up on me?" Keiko laughed bitterly. "How sweet of you. After breaking your promise you decide to do just that. Wow, Yusuke, you sure got your priorities straight."
"Listen, Keiko," Yusuke pleaded, obviously trying to control himself, "I TRIED to be there, on time. I really tried to keep my promise. And I thought I made it -- almost. Almost." He shook his head as he recalled the painful day he lost her. His words were punctuated by hand gestures. "I was a DAY late. A day. 24 measly hours. This time difference between Makai and Ningenkai caused my delay. But obviously, it made a big difference. A very BIG difference."
"And now you're, what -- SORRY? Is that what you're saying?" Keiko raised her voice to match Yusuke's. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Yes, Keiko, as a matter of fact, I am!" Yusuke boomed, exasperated. "I was the sorriest man of all. Until now, I am very, very sorry." He took a deep breath. "Because I was there. At your wedding. More like after the ceremony... so I really had no choice but -- but to watch you drive off."
Yusuke's eyes were full of pain. Keiko's expression softened.
"Didn't you think I'm not repentant and regretful for that shitty time difference? I am, so much!"
Keiko was quiet. But then her scowl returned. "So now you're accusing me that this whole thing is my fault, because I was not aware of this gap? For not waiting for you? You are the one who didn't keep his promise!"
"Keiko," Yusuke said softly, looking into her eyes, "I'm not accusing you of anything." His large brown eyes brimmed with some unreadable emotion. "I came back because... because I wanted to know something."
She looked at him expectantly.
"Are you happy?"
His words were like cold water splashed onto her face. Keiko was silent for a while.
"I try to be," she said truthfully, after some moments. "Ben gives me all that I need, and I respect him. I guess I'm fairly contented with my life."
He gazed into her eyes, sadly, ruefully. She knew what he was feeling, and she got whatever he was telling her.
But she broke his stare. Looking at her watch, she said, "I, um, need to go now. Ben's parents are coming over. I still need to prepare dinner, and --"
She left her sentence hanging. Gathering her things, she walked past Yusuke out the door.
She began striding down the corridor in an unusually quick pace. Yusuke watched her go, but had one last sentence for her.
"Not a day did I stop thinking of you, Keiko. I still love you."
She halted in her tracks. Then she strolled away from him even faster, not turning back.
She was glad for the emptiness of the building. When she got out of the school's premises, the crisp early evening breeze greeted her. She wiped away the tears that sent her mascara running down her cheeks.
"Damn it, Yusuke," she whispered to no one in particular. "My mind wanted to forget you a long time ago... but it seems my heart just couldn't."
