The Sixth Door
Part 1. Start a Little Game. And alert the crossover Gestapo!
The Sixth Door is a place of myth, mysticism, and lies. It’s hidden away, so difficult to find that the place itself is a lie. What lies there, however, is bliss.
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“Hey, Cloud, you okay?” Zack gently prodded the sleeping blond, who had managed to fall asleep at the table, again, with a book as a pillow.
He groaned. “My head hurts…”
“I would imagine it would, after having a book poking you there for who knows how long.”
The dark-haired Soldier studied the younger boy for a moment. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face was pale. Well, paler than usual, anyway.
Zack looked at him in concern when he stood. “Where are you going?”
“To get my sweater.”
“But, Cloud, it’s summer.”
“I’m cold…”
Shaking his head, he scooped the blond into his arms. “You’re goin’ to bed, kiddo.”
“But-”
“I don’t think you look alright, so you’re gonna rest until I say you’re well.”
Cloud watched in horror as his new, self-proclaimed nurse kicked the door of his room open, and nearly tore the sheets as he yanked them off the bed. He set the blond on the bed carefully, tucking the covers over him so that he could barely move.
“I’ll go make you some soup. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon!” He gave one of his trademark grins and rushed out of the room calling, “If you need anything, just yell for me!”
/ I hope he doesn’t blow up the kitchen… /
Minutes ticked by, and still no explosions. Cloud’s eyes began to droop, but just as he was about to drift into sleep, a strange figure appeared. It did a series of fancy-looking flips to get onto the bed.
The figure was dressed in red and black with a metallic claw on its left arm. Cloud estimated that it was about six inches tall. He also decided that it was a good thing that Zack kept his Gundam models at his office.
“…You.” The dark-haired figure climbed up onto Cloud’s chest, staring at his face. “Are you ‘Cloud’?”
“Y-yes,” Cloud squeaked.
“You’re different than I thought you’d look… Maybe a little fluffier?”
“My name is Cloud, but I’m not a cloud.”
“You may call me Vincent. Now get up. We have to go.” He turned back toward the door, hopping from the blond’s chest.
“Go? Go where? Zack said-”
Vincent’s head turned around to tell the blond, “He ordered that you come. I cannot deny His wishes.” After he finished speaking, his head continued turning until it faced the same direction as the rest of his body.
Fearing what the strange, owl-necked ‘Vincent’ figure might do to him, Cloud listened to the speaking glob of plastic. He struggled out of bed and followed it to the door.
“Um, Vincent, how do we get to wherever it is we’re going?”
“The Time Warp.”
“The what?”
With that, Vincent broke into a surprisingly well-danced version of the Time Warp while Cloud stood mortified. To Cloud’s relief, he quickly came to the end of the song. A black hole began opening beneath their feet, and continued growing when Vincent sang, “Let’s do the Time Warp again!” Cloud’s only response was to black out as he sank, fell rather, into what must have been the portal to Him.
Cloud woke in a dimly lit room, covered in nothing but a sheet, which scared him, because the last time this happened Zack had gotten him drunk and convinced him to do a strip show for him and Sephiroth. Moral of the story: don’t trust Zack with alcohol.
Vincent was gone.
He now had no clue where he was.
And he was naked.
Could things get any better?
Of course they could.
From the doorway came two women. One had light brown hair and aqua colored eyes, clad entirely in pink. The other-
“Tifa?! What are you doing here?!”
Both ignored his question and rushed to either side of him. Tifa at his left, the other at his right. They were smiling and fawning over him. When he tried to pull away, they both just pulled him back again.
/ What have I gotten myself into? /
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“Those witches!” ‘His’ ears twitched in annoyance.
“Damn, they can’t go that far, can they? I mean you’re Him.”
‘He’ flipped his hair over his shoulder. “True. Rather, it would be true, if I had made an official decree.”
“Well, shit.”
“Don’t forget your black cape, servant, honey!”
“Fuck you, asshole!”
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“Um, what are you doing?”
Tifa and the newly introduced Aeris pushed Cloud on his back. They began to caress his chest and-
“What the hell are you girls doing?!” A man in a black cape barged in on the girls molesting Cloud.
The two instantly backed away from the blond and stood in front of him. Tifa spoke in their defense. “We found him near the entrance. He’d fallen on Vincent-” –Aeris grabbed a nearby basket which was filled with flowers, dug through it a little, and pulled out a beaten-up looking Vincent figure- “so we brought him here to entertain him until Vincent became conscious again.”
“Then why did you have him buried in the fucking flower basket?”
Aeris and Tifa started vapidly at the cloaked man.
“Gimme that!” He roughly grabbed Vincent from Aeris.
Vincent’s head fell off and landed with a ‘click’ on the floor.
Aeris and Tifa continued to stare vapidly at the cloaked man.
“Is that why Lucrecia left him?” Aeris questioned.
“No, it was because he was too small,” Tifa answered.
The man in the black cape stared vapidly at Aeris and Tifa.
Cloud ‘ahem’-ed.
“Well,” the black caped man began, “I’m taking Vince and the blond back to Him.”
---------- To be continued…
Next time! Things get even more random, so even FLCL makes more sense!
A possessive master, a search for a key, will Cloud ever find out what’s going on?!
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A/N: I had a headache, so I rested for a while, and that was when I came up with ‘Sixth Door’ and decided I wanted to use it for the title of something. This is what it became.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’m on crack. Unless you’ve been sneaking something into my food…
