(Mpls) - Citing "an employment market that sucks" and "endless hours of sending out freakin' resumes," Katy Beem says she has society to blame for her most recent spate of bad luck, namely "a really bad papercut that really f**king stings." Beem, who has been working tirelessly to find employment during a difficult job drought, unabashedly blamed President George W. Bush, those who elected him President of the United States, and "shitty bosses who should NOT be managers" as culprits who have commiserated to keeping her "broke and stressed out." "Christ! The economy was really pretty good like two years ago. Now there are hiring freezes, and people are being laid off left and right. Did 9/11 really wrought this or is the whole damn universe just freaking out? Is there some sort of astronomical alignement that I'm not aware of? What's wrong with people? Jeez, " said Beem. Beem said she now feels these superpowers have somehow added injury to insult, as she battles the stress, blood loss, and the "owie owie owie" that hunting for a new job has incurred. Placing her tongue to the wound located on her third finger on her right hand and measuring a good 4 centimeters in length, Beem added: "I jutht really with thum of theeth freakin' playtheth would thrart to call back. Owie." |
| Minneapolis Woman Gets Really Bad Papercut, Blames Society by Katy Beem |
| click here to discover more about this dreaded afliction from which our Katy may (or may not) recover. Remember... the knowlege you gain will increase your empathy, but will in no way decrease her pain. |