The Ballad Of Theodore Miles

©1981, 2003 Harvey H. Warwick III

Back in the days of the open range
When cattle were widely infested with mange
And ranches took bad losses from cattle thieves
(These were called “rustlers”; the cattle were “beeves”)
A legend began of a mighty man
Who left a great imprint upon our land
And brought to fruition, by his contribution
A great American institution.

Theodore Miles had a ranch in the plains.
Not an inch of his lands was devoted to grains:
His herds roamed the range, both wild and free
Living on wild grass, wherever it might be.
He was the first to develop the brand
To identify his herds throughout the land.
The shape of his brand, which was known near and far,
Was the sign of his ranch, which was called Circle R.

The Circle R Ranch had a proud reputation
As the finest and best-run ranch in the nation.
Its cattle were hardy and very well-fed
And numbered into several thousand head.
The ranch was not troubled by rustler bands
For it was protected by well-trained ranch hands.
Each carried two loaded six-shooters at hand
Which, back in those days, was the law in the land.

But this was not so at most ranches nearby
Where cattle mortality ran very high
And productivity was very low
While cattle rustling continued to grow.
And grain was too scarce for their cattle to eat
Which wandered around, almost dead on their feet
And help was expensive, and hands were too few
And most ranchers didn’t know what they could do.

But Theodore Miles had heard of their plight
And he had resolved to help set things right.
So, after giving the matter inspection
He made them a deal to offer protection
And to crossbreed with theirs his own cattle strain
Which, back in those days, could only eat grain.
To help guard the cattle, which tended to stray
He hit upon a most unusual way.

All cattle were branded, to tell them apart.
This had worked quite well, until someone got smart
And by copying brands would make theirs the same
So that on stolen cattle they could make a claim.
But this was not done with the Circle R brand:
Those who had tried it had soon felt the hand
Of Theodore Miles, whose power was so grown
That none dared claim his cattle as their own.

To protect their cattle throughout the land
He branded them with his own Circle R brand
Next to the old brand, off to the right side
Marking that brand as truly bona fide.
As soon as the change in the branding was made
It put quite a dent in the rustling trade.
A few desperadoes still tried to hold out
But their chance of survival was rather in doubt.

Protection from rustlers was in such demand
That the Circle R Ranch soon had to expand.
More hands were hired and new buildings erected
To service the ranches that it now protected.
Since Theodore Miles invented the fence
The rustling business hasn’t been the same since.
But the Circle R Ranch was not yet through
For Theodore Miles had lots left to do.

Most cattle back then would only eat grain
Until Theodore Miles improved the strain.
He bred some cattle that could live on wild grass
Which he took and crossbred with others in mass.
He also developed many more inventions
But, in keeping with his altruistic intentions
All the products of his brilliant mind
Were put to use for the good of mankind.

So popular was the Circle R Ranch
That within a year, he had opened a branch
And soon after that, two, and then many more
As Theodore Miles’ business began to soar.
But running his empire had become such work
He moved his ranch headquarters up to New York
Where he found more people who were in need
Of protection from their fellow men’s greed.

Rich local merchants and businessmen, too,
Came to him, asking him what he could do
To protect the names of the products they sold
For which they were willing to pay him in gold.
Now Theodore Miles was a quick-thinking man
And so, before long, he came up with a plan.
To safeguard their brand names, as he promised them,
He stamped their wares with his initials – TM.

The practice caught on and became nationwide
To have the initials TM to one side
Of popular brand names and businesses, too
Or anything else with a name that was new.
The Circle R brand, from the ranch in the West,
Made its way eastward and throughout all the rest
Of the country as well, where it became the seal
Of top quality and consumer appeal.

The Circle R Ranch so influenced the nation
The government took over its operation.
They first changed the name, to draw less attention
And retired Theodore Miles with a pension.
The letters TM and the Circle R brand
Still reminded many people of the man
Who stopped the worst crime there had been in his day
And became a legend along the way

So the government next took the Circle R brand
And said that the R stood for “Registered”, and
The letters TM (this was cause for remark)
Stood not for Theodore Miles, but “trademark.”
But when you eat at your nearby fast-food chain
Or buy any product that has a brand name
Look next to the name, just off to the right
And there you will see the brand, in black and white.

And so I have told you, and now laid to rest
The last great mystery of the Old West
How a man with a plan made a brand that became
A nationwide symbol and a household name.
The legend persists, but is now seldom told
For those who were in it have long since grown old
And many have vanished; but now and then
Some storyteller will tell it again.

1981