� 2007 Harvey H. Warwick III
The world isn�t made for tall people;
I know this because I am one.
When coming indoors, ducking�s needful,
For hitting your head is no fun.
Finding some clothes that fit is no sport
Particularly if you�re thin.
Most garments will either be too short
Or baggy, and need taking in.
Nor do tall people fit well in cars
Especially in the back seat.
There�s so little leg room, your knee jars
And not enough room for your feet.
Tall people feel awkward at dances
When dancing with someone who�s short.
It puts quite a strain on romances;
You�ll want to find some other sport.
Short people will use us as ladders
To get some things down from high shelves.
Sometimes it seems that�s all that matters
To anyone besides ourselves.
It puts quite a strain on your backbone
To have that additional height.
You�ll even wish that you hadn�t grown
When resting your sore back at night.
And if you take up bodybuilding
It�s harder to build muscle mass:
Such exercise is unfulfilling
When your results don�t look first-class.
Everyone thinks you play basketball
And asks, �How�s the weather up there?�
And thinks your family�s also tall;
Such stereotypes don�t seem fair.
You dare not stand close to short people
Or they�ll get a crick in the neck.
When talking to one, stand three feet full
Away, as a sign of respect.
You will always stand out in a crowd.
You�ll never blend in with the rest.
Having a normal life�s not allowed:
Your patience gets put to the test.
In photos, you�ll wind up in the back
If you�re photographed with a group.
Good posture�s something you�ll always lack
From constantly having to stoop.
Short people, though, always envy you
And think that it must be a ball.
But you know if they had thought it through
They wouldn�t want to be tall.
7/06