It seems every year someone new tries to scam us
By making a wild claim that old Nostradamus
Wrote down long ago in his famous quatrains
A relevant passage that somehow explains
And makes a prediction of some current crisis
And therefore we shouldn’t let such things surprise us.
Of course, you won’t see it if you read the passage.
They’ll claim it’s a decoded, dark, secret message
That only initiates of their own system
Could possibly find. That’s why everyone missed ‘em.
You first have to locate the seventeenth letter
Of every third line, and combine them together
Then translate the resulting words into Latin
And say them aloud, when the Moon starts to fatten
Then write down the first thing that comes to your mind,
For that is the only way that you will find
The dark secret messages in the quatrains.
It also helps if you don’t have any brains.
But in their definitive book on the master
(Have credit card ready—it ships to you faster)
They say Nostradamus discovered the meaning
Of why that old tower in Pisa is leaning
And that he predicted the birth of the blues,
The automobile and the six-o’-clock news.
The Hindenburg and the Titanic disaster
(They say) were foreseen long ago by the master.
Their one-of-a-kind book you’ll not find in stores;
For forty-nine bucks, though, this book can be yours!
Just call the one-triple eight number on screen
Or visit their website. You’ll see what I mean.