�Welcome to the Jerry Kinger, show�I�m your host, Jerry �the King� Lawler.� A roar of approval sounds as Jerry waves to the audience. �All right, ok, lets start the show!� The audience gives one last cheer and then sits, waiting for the first guest. �Ok, as you know today�s show is titled �There�s Only You To Blame When You Mess With The Game.� Remember that. Let me introduce my first guest�she is the daughter of World Wrestling Federation Chairman Vince McMahon. Please welcome, the beautiful and talented Stephanie McMahon!� As he says this, Jerry walks up to Stephanie and escorts her to the center of the stage, where her chair was waiting.
Stephanie quickly smiles and waves at the audience, but just as quickly her smile fades as she hears their response: Slut, slut, slut, slut�whore, whore, whore, whore! Jerry frantically tried to calm the people down. �Wait! Stop! What are you people doing? Show some respect for the chairman�s daughter.� The audience decides to humor Lawler and calms down. Of course, being the type of show that Jerry Kinger is, the audience threw in an occasional slut and whore whenever the opportunity arose.
Sensing her chance, Stephanie began trying to milk the audience for sympathy. �I don�t know what you people have against me. Why are you so mean?� A group in the back of the studio shouts: Because you SUCK! At this, Stephanie shot back, �I suck? Baby, wouldn�t you like to know how well I suck.� Shocked, the audience sits in silence, jaws to the floor, trying to figure out if that was pampered, spoiled Stephanie McMahon who just uttered those not-so-pure words.
Before he could get a word in, Jerry was interrupted by another man�s voice. �Now sweetie, honey�lets not tell these people our dirty little secrets just yet. There will be time for that soon.� As the audience began recognizing this voice, they went apeshit.
Muttering to himself, �this wasn�t supposed to happen yet,� Lawler began ad libbing. �Ladies and gentlemen, if there are any, please welcome the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship�and Stephanie McMahon�s husband, Triple H � Hunter Hearst Helmsley!� Clad in jeans and the obligatory DX shirt, HHH strides over to his �lovely� wife, plops down on her lap and plants a big wet kiss (think of dog slobber, and you will think of this kiss).
�Hey there sweetums! Hey there Kingeepoo! What�s shakin�?� Hunter gets off Stephanie and sits in the chair next to her, staring directly, knowingly at Lawler.
Visibly shaken, Stephanie responds in that sickeningly sweet manner, �Hunter, pookie, love muffin�what are you doing here? I thought you were doing a house show in Toronto?� At this, the audience provides a low ooooooooooooh.
Unfazed, Hunter replies, �What? And miss your talk show debut? Never. When I heard you were going to be on Jerry Kinger, I told DAD that I had to cancel my appearance and be with you at your shining moment.� Looking around as if trying to find something, Hunter asks Lawler, �So Jerry, what is this show about anyway?�
Laughing, the King answers, �well Triple H, the theme of this show is about betrayal. In fact, Stephanie was brought here to tell us in detail about how she betrayed her family at Armageddon during the match between you and Vince.� At once, the audience begins to boo and shout those familiar nouns to Stephanie.
�Ohhhhh, I see. That was a proud moment wasn�t it,� Hunter joked. The audience seemed confused, was that a hint of sarcasm in Triple H�s voice?
Deciding to take back control of his show, Lawler begins, �So Stephanie, why did you decide to turn your back on your family and help your husband. From what it looked like on Raw and Smackdown, you hated being married to Triple H.�
With an obvious pissed off expression, Stephanie explained her side. �Well King, for years I had to live under Vince�s rules and Shane�s shadow. Stephanie you can�t do this, Stephanie it�s too dangerous to do that.� Standing up with her hands on her hips she yelled, �I was tired of being treated like a baby! I�m not the scared, timid little girl that Mommy and Daddy think I am. I am a woman, a strong healthy woman!� The audience begins laughing, as does Hunter.
�That you are Steph�you definitely are a strong, healthy, flexible woman!� Hunter stands up and does the DX crotch chop to a raving audience. �She definitely has family stroke.� Lawler laughs hysterically, asking Steph another question.
�That explains the family split, but why didn�t you split with Mr. Helmsley here?� Quickly, Lawler eyeballs a stage hand on the left, causing him to quickly run backstage.
�Well you see King,� Stephanie begins, turning to Hunter and grasping his hands. �I realized during this whole month that Hunter is a real man. He lets nothing stop him from getting what he wants. That�s what I love about him. I admire that, and I admire him.� A couple of audience members laugh, and another one shouts whore! Hearing this, Stephanie gets up again and screams, �SHUT UP! I�M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!� More audience members laugh, causing Triple H to get up and put his hands on Stephanie�s shoulders to keep her from rushing the audience.
Halfheartedly, he tells the audience, �hey, hey, this isn�t fair. Don�t condemn the lady, she only did what she had to do. And, I as a real man�,� Hunter laughs as he mimicked the words his wife just said. �I must do what I have to do.� As he says this, he stands in front of Stephanie and gets down on one knee. The audience gasps in confusion.
Lawler, as observant as ever, asks, �But, but, Triple H�you two are already married. What are you doing? Besides, this show is about betrayal, not marriage proposals.� He gives Hunter the eye, trying to figure out his next move.
�I know King, this will make sense in a minute.� Turning back to Stephanie, he continues, �Steph, the past four weeks have been a whirlwind, with your father and all. And, I am glad to see you admire me so much. I really do. But, as you have shared a betrayal of yours with this audience, I too have a story of betrayal to tell.�
Stephanie, visibly confused, stammers, �Wha-?�
Touching his finger to her lips, Hunter says, �Shh�let me finish. I want you to know that there is a reason why I was never home at night until three or four in the morning. What you thought was me hanging out with DX, was actually a hanging out of a different sort. In fact you could say that part of me was hanging out.
Stephanie jerked back from Hunter�s touch. �Wha-, wha-, what are you telling me?� Tears started to form in her eyes.
�Well Steph, while you were at home, plotting against your family, I was starting a family of my own! What it comes down to was�I have been sleeping with�.� All of the sudden familiar music starts�
DON�T TREAT ME LIKE A WOMAN, DON�T TREAT ME LIKE A MAN�
�Well, well, well�if it isn�t Mr. and Mrs. Helmsley.� Turning to Stephanie, she continues, �or should I say, Mr. Helmsley and SLUT!� At this, Stephanie jumps up and tries to punch Chyna in the stomach. The Ninth Wonder dodges her attempt, throws her arm forward and clasps her fingers around the youngest McMahon�s throat. �SIT DOWN, you little bitch!� Chyna picks up McMahon, hand still digging into her throat, and throws her like a rag doll back into her seat. Still standing in front of Stephanie, she continues, �want to know why I�m here?�
Jerry, sensing his opportunity, interrupts her. �Yes, Chyna. I think we would all like to know why you are here.� He frantically looks at Hunter, looking for clues as to why Chyna would crash the show. What he saw was even more frightening, Hunter was just standing there smiling. In fact, at the angle Lawler was standing at, he could see Hunter whispering words of encouragement to Chyna, egging her on.
�Well since you seem to have such an inquiring mind, King, why don�t I just tell everyone.
�Let me ask the audience,� Jerry says turning around. �Do you want to hear what Chyna has to say?� Within a second a collective �YES!!!� was reverberated throughout the studio. Turning back around to face the three superstars, Lawler replies, �So the audience wants, so the audience shall receive. Go ahead Chyna.�
Without any further encouragement, the tall raven-haired wrestler begun. �You see, Slut-anie McMahon, you didn�t steal Hunter from me. In fact, you never had him to begin with!�
�What are you talking about? He married me! He married me! He left you for me! We came together for a common goal, to get back at Daddy! And then we fell in love!�
�Poor, poor na�ve Slut-anie�just let your little brain keep thinking that. A little denial never hurt anyone. But the truth of the matter is that, the night after you two were �married,� when Hunter claimed to be spending time with the DX boys�he really came to my apartment. You see Slut-anie, while you were all snug in your sheets, we were hittin� the sheets! Your little Huntsie was with me�all night long!�
Flustered and trying to hold back the tears, Stephanie screamed, �That�s not true! Hunter wouldn�t do that!� Turning to Hunter, Stephanie pleaded, �Tell me it�s not true! You wouldn�t do that. Tell me she�s lying!� But the look in Triple H�s eyes told her the truth. He didn�t care about her, he never did.
With a smile on his lips and his arm around Chyna�s waist, Hunter breaks the news to Stephanie. �Steph, its so true, and a whole lot more, babe. Chyna and I have been sleeping together every night of this marriage. I know what your thinking, Steph. We were together some of these nights, or so you thought. Well, that cup of tea I brought you every night had a surprise in it. Ahh, the wonders of sleeping powder�a little goes a long way. I would give you the tea and ten minutes later you were dead to the world. I would rumple the sheets, your nightie, and your hair � to make it look like a wild night of passion. Then, I would leave to meet Chy, and be home before you woke up. Sorry to break it to ya like this Steph, but I don�t even like you let alone love you. You�re a McMahon � to me you are a pawn to use with Vince.�
Utterly crushed but also furious, Steph jumps up and pounds on Triple H. �You bastard! You fucking bastard! I gave up my family for you! Sure I was mad at Daddy, but I didn�t want to leave him! I hate you! I hate you! And you Chyna�YOU BITCH!� Stephanie tries to slap Chyna in the face, but again she grabs Steph by the throat and squeezes.
�Don�t ever try that again, Slut-anie. Go back to where you belong�in the gutter YOU WHORE!!!� With this, she throws Stephanie to the ground. The audience gasps in horror as Chyna and Triple H stand over the devastated Stephanie McMahon. �Tell Vince we said �hi��if he�ll even see you. HAHAHA!!� With this, Triple H and Chyna were about to leave together when all of the sudden more music played.
�TEST, TEST, THIS IS A TEST�TEST, TEST, THIS IS A TEST.�
�Whoa, whoa, whoa, you two. Where are you going? We aren�t done yet!,� Test yells to Chyna and Triple H. Looking at Stephanie, Test continues, �Steph, I don�t like what you did, I am furious with you, but what Chyna and Triple H did was uncalled for. In fact, Hunter may want to hear some news I have to say.� At the sound of his name, Hunter looked at Test, confused.
�Test, what the hell would you have to say that I would even be the least bit interested to hear?�
�I think Chyna knows what I have to say,� Test says, looking directly at Chyna. Chyna, who at first was as confused as Triple H, widened her eyes in recognition of what Test was about to reveal. With Chyna shooting him a pleading look, Test continued, �Sorry Chyna, I know I said I would never say anything. But, what goes around comes around.�
�Chy, what the hell is he talking about? What does he know?,� Triple H asked with a look of concern. �Tell me��
Scared and trying to hold back tears, Chyna begins. �Um�It was the night you revealed that you married Stephanie on Raw. You didn�t tell me about your plan until the next night. Well, I watched Raw and I freaked. I-, I-, I couldn�t believe you married her. I-, I-, I thought you didn�t love me. Then, Test came up to my hotel room, furious and banging on my door. He wanted to know if I had anything to do with the bust-up of the wedding. He saw me crying and knew I didn�t have anything to do with it, at least then. That�s when he lost it and started crying.� Chyna began sobbing, trying not to look at Hunter.
Feeling sorry for her, but furious nonetheless, Test continued the story. �Both of us, crying, we started talking about how both you and Stephanie betrayed us, and how we couldn�t believe the two of you could end up with each other. Chyna started thinking that she wasn�t pretty enough or good enough for you. I told her it wasn�t true and how pretty she was. Then, sensing each others pain, we held each other for a while. And, what happened next��
�What the fuck? Chyna, what the hell happened next!� Triple H, with both hurt and rage pretty much knew the answer�but refused to believe it. He wanted to hear it from her.
Still sobbing, she dropped to the floor, unable to look at anyone. With her face in her hands, she finished the story. �We-, we-, we- we didn�t have anyone else to turn to�we-, we-, we-, we were both hurting. Pain leads people to do desperate things, Hunter. If we had known, we wouldn�t have�I swear!�
�Wouldn�t have what, Chyna! Wouldn�t have what! Tell me! NOW!�
�Test and I�Test and I�slept together the night you told the world you married Stephanie.� With this, she sobbed uncontrollably. Test, hating seeing her in so much pain, walked up to Chyna and tried to console her.
Seeing this, Triple H, furious and devastated, ripped Test away from Chyna and spat out: �GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER�NOW, BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!!!!!!� Turning to Chyna, he continued��How could you, how could you! You know I love you with all my heart, Chy. Yet, you believe in me so little that you sleep with, with HIM! You didn�t even wait to ask me what happened or why I did this! Its obvious that you don�t love me as much as I loved you�if you did, you never would have done this. You deserve each other, HAVE A NICE FUCKING LIFE!� With that, Triple H tore his microphone off and stormed off the stage. Seeing an opportunity, Stephanie jumped up and ran after Triple H.
�Chyna, come on�you don�t need to be here. Let�s go. I�ll take you home.� Test, with a look of true concern and sympathy, picked up a limp and sobbing Chyna. Putting his arm around her waist, he half-carried her off the stage and out of the studio building.
Jerry, as well as the whole audience, sat there with their mouths open and their eyes bulged. �What the hell just happened?� This time, Jerry said this allowed, because he was just as shocked as everyone else. Turning to the audience, he tried to close the show as best he could. �I guess this is as good a time as any, considering the circumstances, for �Kinger�s Final Thought.��
Shaking his forehead, Lawler continued, �Let this be a lesson for you all. Pain can make you do strange, irrational things. It can make you betray people you love, which then leads to more pain. It�s a vicious cycle, people. Believe me, the people you just witnessed here will be realizing this for a long time to come. Sorry this show was such a downer, but we�ll make sure the next is fun and outrageous, or my name ain�t Jerry �The King� Lawler. Take it easy, and be good to each other. Good night!�
With this, the credits rolled and the audience filed out of the studio building, still shocked at the events that transpired. When everyone was gone, Jerry collapsed to the couch in his dressing room. �That�s it! Next time, we�re getting� scripts!� Then, he poured himself a brandy and shook his head, knowing that it�s only going to get more outrageous.
The End
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