Do What You Must 14 November 2001 Dear Sisters We have recently changed accountants ~ after 8 years with one, we have changed to another. It has been a very challenging time for us. Andre tells me that I am the 'Brain' and he is the 'Box'. Oh, if only he knew! I tell him that I am nothing without the Lord. I cannot even perform simple mathematical formulas. I do not even know my times tables! And yet....... the Lord has put me in a position that I have to do our business books. Very daunting! Such a responsibility! I am incompetent! I am unconfident! And yet........ knowing His Word, believing His Word and having faith in His Word, I read that I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Each visit to our new accountant has been a stressful time. I have spent more time away from home and my children than I have with them. I have left home with a heavy heart; I love being with my children and having spent days and nights with them for so long, (despite their age and independent abilities) it still pains me to be away from them. Many have scoffed at this, yet I care not, for I know that one day, should the Lord tarry, they may marry and leave the family home for good. Oh, Sisters, I don't want regrets. The should-have's. The could-have's. I strive to do what I can, be what I can, with the Lord's help. Here and now. I want to be called "Blessed" by my children. Each night when I have returned home, I have had an overwhelming feeling that I have neglected my home, too. How can Helen be a Keeper at Home when she has been out most of the day, most of the week? Nagging thoughts. On and on. Towards the end of my last few appointments with the accountant, I have been slipping out of bed, while my dear husband has been falling into the bed. Just like passing ships in the early morning. On these occasions, I have had to take the children with me. I have felt sorry for them, as they have had to wait around for me during these appointments. I realise that they must learn that this is a part of our life ~ like it or not, but it still doesn't take away the sympathy I have for them. And as we travel into town, my husband has been on my mind. "Oh, I didn't have time to iron his overalls". "I miss him" "What type of take away food has he been eating? Good stuff, I hope" "How I would love to be at home as he awakes and prepares to go to work" "I didn't realise how much I would miss him" "I must tell him what Sam said about him" "Does he miss me as much as I him?" With so many thoughts whirling around, it has 'dawned' on me where my heart is. How the Lord has changed my heart towards my husband, my children, my home. And even though my heart is there, I have had to perform tasks that I haven't wanted to do. Away from my husband and children. Away from my home. Instead of being with those I love to be with, I have been with strangers. Doing what I had to do. The result? Great blessings. Oh, yes, dear Sisters. I have received great blessings. The Lord has worked a miracle with our business taxes. The Lord has worked a miracle with my understanding of figures and finance and business. The Lord has blessed us with an accountant whose main aim is to train his clients in their own business, teaching them how to gain full understanding and control thereof. His blessings are awesome! Oh, that He should pour them down on me? Why? I believe it is because I have been a help meet for my husband. Despite the wrestling of not wanting to do something, I did it anyway. And even on reflection of this, I am still so undeserving because I KNOW me! And yet, could it be because........ ......I did what I must? Glory to God!! With much love from Helen ***Clarification*** I did not intend to convey the opinion that because *I* did what I had to do the Lord blessed me for doing it, thereby implying that "works" is a great fixer-upper between the sinner and the Lord. I know that the Lord blesses the saved and the unsaved. Believing and trusting in what the Lord Jesus Christ did for us on the cross at Calvary is what saves our souls from eternal damnation. By striving to do right is what pleases God, after salvation. Striving to do right doesn't save our souls. To appear 'righteous' in God's eyes comes through faith FIRST, then works. Romans 4 teaches more than I can here. |