homelifefeb2001

Heartchange 29 Jan - 18 March 2001
Homelife ~ February 2001

Dear Sisters

It is so good to be 'chatting' with you again! I so often
remember the days when my husband was away on the South West
African border, defending his country.   Our firstborn
child, Emma, was only 2 months old when he set out for a
three month stint on an anti-terrorist campaign. Each and
every day, after lunch, I would write to him. Emma would
often be sleeping next to me ~ in her pram, as I sat at our
dining table, pen, paper, envelope and stamps all ready for
action!   I never did receive many letters from Andre, and
those that I did, were censored. As I wrote to him, it
brought me closer to him. It's as if he was there,
listening to me as I nattered on. I may have told you this
before, but I feel exactly the same as I write to you, dear
sisters. Some of you, I know, but most of you, I don't.
Nevertheless, we share a common bond; our love for the Lord,
and a willingness to learn from Him. I thank you all for
being patient with me, as our circumstances here at home and
work have been so absorbing.   I thank you for your
encouragement during this busy time.

Ok, let's see ~ oh, yes ~ firstly, I wanted to tell you
about how and what I have been reading in the Word of God.
A dear sister in the Lord at our church offered me this tip
some time ago. She told me that each day, she would read a
chapter of Proverbs. There are 31 chapters in the book of
Proverbs. One for each day of the month. I have been doing
the same for some time now, and it is awesome how 'apt' each
day is for what is happening in my/our lives on that very
same day.   Furthermore, each time I go over a chapter, the
Lord shows me something new. I usually read a chapter from
Proverbs as well as another book of the Bible, as the Lord
leads. I'm currently reading the book of Matthew.

A verse (verses) that really struck me, ~ no ~ actually,
choked me up was
Mat 21:12-16. The scribes and chief priests were very 'sore
displeased' at the way Jesus had healed the blind and lame.
Oh, and when they saw the CHILDREN CRYING and offering their
praises to the 'son of David' - who they knew as Jesus, they
must have been furious! Furious because even the CHILDREN
knew how to offer their praises! Can you imagine what those
children actually saw? They saw first-hand miracles,
performed by the Son of God! What an experience for a
child! Could their very own parents or other family members
or family friends be amongst those healed? I wonder. Can
you imagine the emotion, joy and love soaring through the
hearts and souls of those children? Oh my..What if they
were your children?

Andre has been teaching me many things. He has been
teaching me the art of 'waiting'. Waiting to 'see'. What,
I'm still not sure of, but, irrespective of my ignorance in
different matters, I choose to trust him. You see,
sisters, like I have said before - I am very impatient, and
often jump in the deep end. Oftentimes, I have not only
gotten myself into trouble, but I have caused upset for my
family. I'm not proud of this fact, but know that my
tendency to jump 'in like Flynn' as the Australian's say,
must stop. My tendency to 'act' without thought (and
prayer!) must be curbed! Slowly, but surely, I am putting
his guidance into practice. When the urge to make a
decision or to act comes up, I wait first. I've even waited
for a couple of days before making that decision or doing
something about it. I've even started telling the children
"I'll think about it" before answering their questions and
requests. This has helped tremendously, as I have noticed
the children often tend to ask me things while I am
concentrating on some other important task. Does that
happen to you as well? Do you also give answers which you
regret later? Making them wait has twofold results: it
teaches the children patience and the fact that they can't
always have/do what they want, when they want it - hopefully
avoiding selfish attitudes as well as gives me ~ the momma ~
time to consider logically, instead of mechanically, thereby
saving on regrets, frustration and even anger. Ha! They
have even gotten into the habit of asking me something and
then adding ".when you've thought about it, mom.."

On the homeschool front, I've begun organising the books I
would like the children to read and study for this year. I'
ve ordered some, and bought a few locally. Unfortunately,
we haven't done much in the line of 'formal' schoolwork,
other than the younger two writing letters, and doing
copywork. But, they have all enjoyed reading their books.
Emma loves to read historical fiction. Sarah has chosen a
series of books by Anne Turnbull, which are set in the years
of the first and second world wars. Sam, being a practical,
hands-on lad prefers non-fiction. Automobiles, hunting,
bows and arrows and current gun laws are his choice of 'good
reading'. I am convinced that even without formal
schoolwork, the children are ever-learning! Some of the
things they teach me are amazing! Oh, the joy of children
with a desire to learn and love learning!

I have tried to save on the amount of household cleaners we
use. Instead of using a variety of kitchen cleaners, for
instance, I now run a sink full of hot water, and add some
good quality dish-washing liquid. Further to this, I add
some Dettol antibacterial disinfectant. I use this water to
wash down the kitchen counters, scrub the stove top, wipe
the table and chairs, shelves, cupboard doors, as well as
the stainless steel benches. I have to wipe the stainless
steel benches straight away with a dry cloth, so that it
will shine, but amazingly, this solution does not leave
streaks on our wooden kitchen cupboards and counter tops.
Because we used the cleaners several times a day, we were
going through an enormous amount of chemicals as well as
cash. Doing it this way has cut down a lot on our weekly
grocery budget.

This week, we've had to make special meals. I have been so
indulged! My mom and daughters prepared all the vegetables
and all I had to do was make the dishes with the prepared
food. And what type of dishes have we been cooking?
Gluten, sugar and yeast free meals! Quite restrictive, I
know ~ but a necessary for me, as the doctor is monitoring
me for candida albicans. What nasty stuff! To think I play
hostess to those predators! I have been on this diet for
three weeks now, but have found that unless meals are
prepared, there's not much I can eat if and when we have to
unexpectedly leave for town.   And so, I now have many small
containers, waiting, with bated breath in our deep freeze
for consumption by Helen! What a blessing these are finally
made up, instead of procrastinating to cook them!   I hope
to write a short article on candida albicans, with
supplements, medications and recipes that have and are
helping me.

My mom surprised me with a lovely gift this week. We were
all sitting in the car, after running around doing errands.
I saw her turn around and motion to Sarah to pick something
up from the floor of the car. "This is for you, Helen, ~
for being good" she chuckled. I opened the bag and inside
were two most adorable 'country frogs'. One fishing, and
one with a basket, gathering fruit. You may know of the
type: soft and pudgy, about 40cm high with floppy arms and
legs. Just too cute! (My heart swells with the love I have
for my family. They are my heroes! )   Anyway, what I
wanted to tell you is that these two new froggie family
members will probably sit on top of our piano, gazing down,
dreamily, serenaded by the children who play the piano.
And, if that's too disturbing for them, I can always move
them, so that they can sit in our wall-shelf drawers,
cheekily peeking out, offering their daily greeting!   I
love to decorate with toys, cushions, quilts. Making
memories for my children...

With all the coming-and-going to our new workshop, at the
side of our house, our front garden is looking worse for
wear. Some of our plants have died off, due to drought, as
well as workmen's boots ~ treading on them and stomping
them into the soil! After church last Sunday, we stopped at
the local shop, where there was a small country market.
Local nurserymen were selling plants. Andre bought some
plants to replenish the now-bare spots. The wife of the
nurseryman has agreed to leave future plants at our local
shop, for pick-up by us next month. I so enjoy planning
ahead in our garden. Each season, I have added notes to a
garden journal. This journal is tailored especially to our
garden, our climate, our taste. Writing down this garden
information has been a tremendous help, as it cuts down
thought and planning each year. No longer do I have to
puzzle what to grow, what to sow, what to cut, trim and
prune. It's all there. No more thinking ~ just doing!
~smile~

Remember how I told you about the missions conference held
at our church in January this year? Well, I have recently
heard from the missionary's wife. A lovely letter, filled
with tales of her life over in Papua New Guinea. Sisters,
we are so blessed! This lovely lady will be traipsing
through crocodile, mosquito and tick-infested marshland,
living in a bush house, sleeping on the ground and washing
in a bucket, so that they can attend a conference in one of
the churches they first started over there ~ 15 years ago.
To me, this takes special strength of character. I know the
Lord has changed them. I know He has been their guide and
strength. It's just something that is so far removed from
most of our lives. It's hard to even conceive of this kind
of lifestyle, isn't it?

Here is something she sent me. Thankyou, Lyn!

HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN

PRAY they will know Christ early in their life

PRAY they will have a hatred for sin

PRAY they will be caught when guilty

PRAY they will be protected from the evil one in each area
in their life. Spiritual, emotional & physical

PRAY they will have a responsible attitude in all their
inter-personal relationships.

PRAY they will respect those in authority over them

PRAY they will desire the right kinds of friends and be
protected from the wrong friends

PRAY they will be kept from the wrong mate and saved for the
right one

PRAY they, as well as those they marry, will be kept pure
until marriage

PRAY they will learn to submit totally to God and actively
resist Satan in all circumstances

PRAY they will be single-hearted, willing to be sold out to
Jesus Christ

PRAY they will be hedged in so they cannot find their way to
wrong people or places and that wrong people cannot find
their way to them.

n Judy Jones

Sisters, I am currently reading a book entitled 'How to Have
a 48 Hour Day' by Don Aslett. Don is an old family
bookshelf friend of ours. I am actually re-reading this
book, as because our life circumstances change, I find his
suggestions on having/ making more time in my day so very
helpful. One of the tips Don offers is to have spares.
Spares of all necessary items used by each individual
family. Having spares cuts down time taken to look for,
move and return items used regularly. Each family will
probably have different and/or additional spare needs.

Now I know this goes against the whole point of NOT piling
'things' up, but it ultimately helps me in the long run. If
I have spare light bulbs, candles and matches, for example,
I can keep them together, in one set place, and know where
they are when needed, and save myself time and the cost of
petrol to either a)dash out and buy them or b) let my family
suffer the inconvenience of not having them, due to my own
disorganisation!

Another tip Don Aslett recommends is to 'duplicate' tools.
If an item is used often, it helps to keep a duplicate of
that 'tool' in another place, where you know it will be
used. I find this the case with scissors and pens
especially. We keep these in a drawer in the schoolroom, yet
waste so much time going to get them (or find them if they
weren't returned!), when they are needed for something else.
I now have kitchen scissors in the kitchen cutlery drawer,
several pairs of scissors in the schoolroom drawer,
hairdressing scissors in our 'hair' dressing cupboard - down
the corridor, material scissors in the sewing box, craft
scissors in the craft boxes, etc. Although each pair has a
definite use, because they were kept in one place, any pair
was being taken to do any task.

"Noooo, don't cut the dog's furballs with the kitchen
scissors!" and "those hairdressing scissors are going to be
as blunt as the matron's reprimands, if you continue to cut
the back of that cereal box!"

A new thing I have learned this week, sisters, is to drive a
forklift. For years, I would watch Andre move around the
factory yard on this vehicle - the yellow 'blur' as I refer
to it. He makes me laugh! He can handle the thing so fast.
It is small and compact and he's a whiz at manoeuvring it!
However, my name came up, when the time arose to 'drive the
blur'. He needed to continue welding for an urgent job he
was busy on, while we were busy with the packing up of his
tools, hand tools, and other supplies, transferring them to
the trailer to take home. (Again I think of the Proverbs 31
woman, and what she did, how she persevered to be a blessing
to her family, to help her husband. Thoughts and reverence
to this example in God's word are the main factors that keep
me going, as, being a woman, every inch of me winces at
motors, machinery, grease, noise, steel and rusty old
metals!).   Before long, the children were cheering me on,
laughing at me, encouraging me. Mamma on the forklift!
What a blessing to learn something new, but more
importantly, be a help to my husband.

At church this morning, a dear sister told me that she
intended popping around to my brother's house this coming
week to visit Tersia, my sister in law. I am so pleased
about this! Ruth told me that she understands my dilemma
living so far out of town, yet wanting to be an
encouragement and help to my family in town. "There's a
limit to what you can do, Helen" she told me. "I understand
your problem perfectly. I'll be around to visit on
Tuesday". I thank God for friends such as this. Tersia
told me last week that this same lady had bought her a
couple of bags of groceries, as they met in the supermarket
and Ruth had insisted that she pay for her shopping. Praise
the Lord, Who knows all that we need.

I have been teaching my girls the definition of respect in
action. At times, because we are all tired and weary, there
have been a few heated moments.   My husband has a lot to
think about and sometimes, his mind-overload comes out via
his mouth. Andre is an outright, truthful man, but this
quality is not one that comes with tact.   I have also been
challenged by this. There have been times that I could have
done head spins in sheer frustration. Some people call
these moments 'testy'. Shamefully, I have not always kept
quiet, and each time, the Lord knows the regrets I have.
Whenever this happens, I take my girls aside and explain to
them the right and wrong of the situation. I tell them how
it is and why it is. Sometimes, I can see the shock on
their faces, but I am determined to be truthful and honest
with them. I tell them where I go wrong. I tell them what
I should have done. Training moments.   Moments when 'could
have' is better off as 'should have'. I know that if they
see this rebellion in me, it will flow through to them.
They love me and will copy me.   I know that they will pick
up my flaws faster than they will pick up anything good in
me that the Lord has put there. I have prayed that the Lord
keep me humble and will continually pray this request to
Him.

I have also explained to my daughters that even when they
think that justice should prevail between them, or on their
behalf, that this too can be a sign ~ the early birth pains
of a rebellious spirit. Sometimes, situations can seem so
insignificant, yet so very vital to a coveted meek and
humble spirit in my daughters. I thank the Lord for showing
this to me. Even when they offer excuses about what and why
they have/ have not done something we have asked of them,
can be warning signs. This didn't used to be so. When they
were younger, they would obey our requests without
hesitation or questioning. Of late, the excuses are on the
increase. This is an area that I need the Lord's help in,
as I also know that *I* will be the one ashamed should this
behaviour continue to be tolerated. I will be responsible.
They are with me 24 hours. When Andre is home, there is
only so much he observes. This is not to say that he is not
the authority in the home. He is. But..mamma is the one
with the influence while dad is away. I am trying to focus
on my downfalls, not his nor anybody else's. Change has to
start with me.

Anyway, sisters, I'm off to tell him that I love him and ask
his forgiveness for my 'mouth'.

With much love to you all. Have a blessed week! ~ Helen