homelifedec2000

Heartchange 27 November to 10 December 2000

Dear Sisters

Each and every day, something comes to mind that I want to
tell you. Sometimes something funny, sometimes a helpful
tip. Sometimes, something I've 'fell' into. When it comes
time to put all this in an email to you, I find it hard to
know where to start! The moral of this? Write it down when
you think of it. Write everything and anything. Write
once, then there's no need to think on it again!

These past weeks have been somewhat trying. I shared with
you what we did to try and make our home run smoother to
accommodate more people. Well, I've learned that there is
only so much one can do to prepare. The rest one has to
take as it comes.

We have had more water problems. While we were waiting for
the contractor that deals with hard water, (the water we are
using is from the bore, as our rain water tanks are almost
empty) we had to use spring water. As you can imagine, this
water went VERY quickly and often we were caught short of
drinkable water. No drinking water in 31 degree heat. No
cooldrink on this earth can match the quenching, delightful
relief of pure water! Sisters, there's many things we can
do without - but water? We collected containers full of
town water each time we either went to my parent's home or
Andre's workshop. Water in plastic containers just does not
taste good!~However, we used this water for cooking and
boiling the kettle, while the store-bought pure spring water
was used only for drinking and cooking.

One day this week, the toilet became blocked. Yes, that old
familiar glugging and water level increase in the toilet
bowl appeared. The dreaded water level increase, which only
means one thing; that major 'unblocking' of the pipes is
needed! Andre set to work, as soon as we had eaten that
night. He was out there for an hour, before I went to check
how he was doing. The children were just on their way to
bed. I noted that he was quite aggravated by it all, as he
couldn't find the blockage! What I have learned over the
years is to carry out some Necessary Discreet Action. I
called my brother, Gary to help, and together, the three of
us set to work - armed with shovels, torches, poles, pipes
etc. Some may say that this is not women's work. I don't
believe it is. But...... sometimes, just a wife's presence
can help her husband. Before long, we were all laughing and
joking and although the task took us to 11.30pm, the burden
was lighter, because it was shared.

We have a shower in our laundry. It isn't a glass-surround
shower - merely a shower base with a shower curtain on a
rod, screwed into the tiles. This rod recently became
'un-screwed' and I found the curtain crumpled in the shower
base, with distorted rod lying helplessly. My first
thoughts were "who did this?" Then I thought of my
husband - how he had yet another task for when he arrived
home. "Oh no - not another job!" But then it dawned on me
that it really didn't matter who did it. The fact was - it
was broken and needed fixing. So often I tend to think this
way, and I have to consciously make the effort to cast the
thought away and concentrate on how the problem can be
solved or fixed. Too often I depend on my own fuel, too! I
have to consciously call on the Lord for His help and
guidance.   There's simply no other way! Needless to say,
the shower curtain is again up and 'swinging'.

I am blessed to have a dishwasher. It acts not only as
another 'servant' as a sister calls them, but also as extra
cupboard space! When loading the dishwasher at the end of
the day, there are always excess pots and pans and
breadboards to be hand-washed. We are in the habit of
sliding the bread boards behind the kitchen taps - to
drain - before they are towelled dry. This continual pool
of water, as well as other water splashed behind the taps
during washing has started to seep into the cupboard under
the sink. One day when we arrived home, after spending many
hours in town, we found a pool of water on the kitchen
floor. On further inspection we found that it wasn't a
problem with the drainage pipes, as we had thought and which
Andre had 'siliconed' the previous night, but that the
protective waterproof gloss, covering my wooden benchtops
was wearing thin, due to the increase of water used. Andre
has put more silicone between the splashback and the
countertop as a temporary measure, and hopes to correct this
problem at a later date.

Sisters, in my telling you of these minor irritations, I
would like to impress on you three things:

Firstly, that I am ever grateful for my husband; how the
Lord has changed his heart, as well as mine over the years.
My husband's gift of being able to fix almost anything with
his own hands. Also his newfound patience and
understanding, as well as the way in which he forgets these
setbacks with surprising haste!

Secondly, that if I could ever pass on any advice to any of
you who are expecting company for any length of time, it
would be to organise your wet areas! I realise that you
probably make your home clean and cosy, and that your
bathrooms and laundries may probably sparkle. However,
these setbacks have made me realise how much we actually
depend on water in many areas of the home and homelife.

Finally, that my desire is to praise the Lord, thank Him -
no matter what happens. A friend of mine is always praising
God. After we've had a chat and a cup of coffee, and she
has confided her problems to me, she promptly says "Praise
the Lord". She has done this from the day I met her! Not
only does she praise the Lord in good times, but moreso in
bad times. At first, I couldn't comprehend how she could
'rustle up' a praise. Thoughts of it being habitual on her
part plagued me and I'm sure my doubts showed in my
countenance. Now that I know her better, I realise that she
really does have a heart for the Lord and is intent on
giving Him the glory. No matter what.

This brings me to a book which was recommended to me, and
which I would now like to recommend to you. It is called
"First We Have Coffee" by Margaret Jensen. Margaret writes
of her life as the daughter of a Pastor father and a
wonderful Godly mother - named 'Mama Tweeten'. Her book is
not only inspiring, as you will read of the pure love of
Mama, but is rich in humour. Throughout the book, Mama's
ability to be thankful and make the most of any situation is
impressed upon the reader. (For those of you in the US, it
is easily available from any reputable internet bookstore.
For those of you in Australia, I believe you may have to
order from the US. I waited 10 weeks for my copy from
Amazon). My daughter, Emma (18) is currently reading this
book, and Sarah (12) is next on the 'waiting list'.    This
evening, after I had finished the book, my children were
gathered around me on our bed. I read portions of the book
to all of them. They so enjoyed it and wanted more! What
lovely stories to tell, just before bedtime!

Before I go - just a little administration note: my
intention was to send weekly messages to you. However, life
itself has gotten in the way. Just want you to know that if
I happen to miss one week, I'll be sure to chat with you the
next. Also, if you would like to read past messages, you
can go to the eboards listed below. Everything I send, I
post on to the eboards.

Here's hoping you all have a blessed week and my best wishes
for your efforts in preparing for the holiday season.

Love
Helen

Heartchange 11 December to 17 December 2000

Dear Sisters

Due to a few arguments amongst the children's this week, we
have been reorganising our living areas. In my nieces
bedroom, stands our piano. We have told the children that
their rooms are their privacy, their 'escape', so to speak,
from a busy household, and thereby we should all respect
that. My daughter, Sarah, was most upset on learning this
new rule. Her eyes brimming with tears she asked me "Mom",
sob "does that mean that I can never practice the piano
again?". My heart ached for her. "No, of course not, we'll
ask Dad to move it for us", I assured her. Already, our
lounge is jam-packed. I asked Andre if he could 'maak 'n
plan' (Afrikaans for 'make a plan'). Oh, he is so very
dependable. How I thank the Lord for him! That night, on
returning from town, our tv, video and music centre (as well
as the unit which housed them) was gone, and the piano, 'as
bold as brass', (as my momma would say), stood proudly in
it's place. This also solved another problem; that of who
and when would use these items of entertainment!
Hallelujah!

Instead of these appliances, we have been busying ourselves
with card playing, board games, eating, sewing, reading,
eating, chatting, singing, playing musical instruments and
eating some more! God is good!

My brother, Gary, has been busy putting the final touches to
his and Tersia's bedroom. There has been so much dust and
plaster grit floating through the house. All the children
have been allocated rooms to dust, sweep and mop. I still
don't think we managed to 'capture' all of the wayward
particles though. That will have to wait till later, when
our home is 'lighter'. In the meantime, it serves to teach
the children chores and how to clean. I am *still* working
on that elusive chore chart, that puts 'compatible' partners
together on a project! Ha!

For what seems like ages, I have not bought any new clothes
and shoes for myself. I have wanted to save the money for
'a rainy day'. I have never done this before; in past
times, if I've wanted something, I've bought it, or saved to
get it. Nowadays, I seldom buy things for myself. I always
think that somebody else may need the money. However,
having said that, I have been desperate for a pair of black,
high-healed court shoes. A pair that will go with most of
the dresses and skirts I own. I have taken my time, and
each visit we make to a different town or city, I have kept
my eye open for the shoes I have been set on. Up until
recently - no luck. Then, one day at the thrift stores this
week, I found the shoes I had been looking for. I couldn't
believe it. Even seeing them - there on the shelf, I
thought they would be too small. Not so. Perfect match,
perfect fit, perfect price. I am now the proud owner of the
*exact* shoes I needed and wanted. Total cost? $3!!

All week, I have had the book "First We Have Coffee" on my
mind. The one I recommended to you last week. Oh what a
great example Mama Tweeten was! So flexible, prepared for
anything, accepting, hard-working, lovable, understanding,
compassionate, optimistic, creative....... the list goes on.
While I am a firm believer in our unique-ness in Christ,
there's nothing that inspires me more than reading about
this, seeing this in others. Mammas whose whole being,
whole life is to love and serve God. How rare and how
refreshing.

Today in church, our Pastor spoke of how vain we are. How
we think we can handle all that the world dumps on us.
Without calling on Him. Running on our own fuel. Steaming
ahead (although we inevitably end up lagging behind!). The
way in which we worry about a situation, and never think to
hand it over to Him. I am so guilty of this sin. The sin
of worry! Andre nudged me and smiled. I am going to
endeavour not to keep all my burdens, but to hand them over
to God. I know this will take conscious effort.

Andre has installed a cooling unit in our bedroom! When we
shut the corridor and bathroom door, all the bedrooms remain
so cool! This is such a welcome treat in the mid to late
afternoon, after chores, errands, washing and ironing are
all done! At the other end of the house, tall, thick pines
cast shade on the western wall, and a mobile fan helps to
keep the bedrooms cool. I feel so bad that we have the
cooler, and that the fan arrangement isn't as effective for
my brother's family. If I were on my own, I would probably
let them use the cooler, and I would take the fan. That's
the difference between my husband and I. He sees things
clearly, and I, being the 'weaker vessel', - especially
emotionally, run on my heartstrings! Strum, strum, strum!

Our homeschool hasn't been active for some time. We were
busy preparing for, and now that the family is here, we are
absorbed with them. This break from school, being long and
drawn out, is slowly but surely firing us all up for a
bumper year next year. We are all eager, and this time
spent without being swamped with books, enables me to
mentally plan our lessons. One thing I have started to do
is take my children in my arms, sit them on our bed and read
the Word of God to them. We are working through the
gospels, which are so apt this time of the year.

And talking of reading the Word of God, I was so blessed the
other night as I went to tuck in Sarah and Sam. Sarah had
fallen asleep with her Bible next to her. I had to close it
up and remove the pen and paper. As I glanced at the
content of this paper, I almost let out a loud sob, as my
sweet daughter has lists of the date and Scripture she has
been reading. I have never insisted that my children read
their Bible. I tell them that it is life-saving, and I read
it to them. Furthermore, I let them see me reading my
Bible. But I have never pushed them to do this. What an
encouragement, what a blessing to a momma to see this in her
children!

Our once green grass is slowly but surely changing to a
yellow-brown colour with the heat we have been having.
Thankfully, we managed to cover a few beds with pea straw,
before this hot weather crept up on us. Andre's birthday
gift to me was my choice of a number of seedlings. I had
prepared the beds for these seedlings, and as I look at
these two 'Birthday Beds', it is hard to imagine how they
once looked. Catmint is sprawling and the Cottage Sage has
beautiful deep purple spires. The Margarite Daisies, as
well as the African Daisies are forming bushy clumps. The
Petunias are in full bloom in shades of pink and purple.
The lilac is thriving. The flowering Crabapple is thriving.
I even have four tomato bushes that have sprung up! What a
thrill and joy this is to me. They have sprung up all on
their own, without anybody's interference - loaded with
flowers for fruit.

Remember the paw-paw cream I told you about? Well, my son,
Sam has had cold sores on either side of his mouth and under
his nose. He has spent one and a half days of putting this
cream on his sores, as we think about it and already they
are fading away.

This week, a sister from church came over to spend the day
with us. She had a young teenage girl staying with her,
also from our church. Before they came, we did our
mis-en-plas and prepared to do some baking. All the girls
(and Sam) donned their aprons, decided what biscuits they
were going to make and set to the task of mixing. My church
sister, Ruth, Tersia and I sat out on the deck with our tea
and Christmas mince pies, watching the butterflies,
cockatoos, Ibis and magpies, as we discussed other lands.
The only sounds we heard were those of the wildlife, apart
from the occasional giggles coming from the kitchen door.
So peaceful! A lazy summer day.

As I was cleaning out my handbag this week, I found a soft
plastic bag. Inside the bag were four copper jelly-moulds.
Sarah had bought them for me at 30cents each from one of the
thrift stores she had visited with Granny. She knew that I
had started to save them, having picked up larger jelly
moulds from another thrift store. I had forgotten she had
put them in my handbag. I called her, thanked and kissed
her and let her have the privilege of knocking the tack in
the wall to hang the moulds on. She was thrilled!

Well, sisters, I must go. I would still like to put the
finishing touches to the children's chore charts.

Have a great week,
Love
Helen

Heartchange 18 to 31 December 2000

Dear Sisters

It feels so strange, sitting here, writing to you on the
very last day of the year 2000! Last year at this time,
many people were wondering if power, transport, food
supplies etc were going to stop at the gong of the clock.
We had done a little preparation ourselves. Partly because
one just does not know - and it is always good to be
prepared, and partly because we live out of town and our
usual practice is to keep stock anyway.

Last time I wrote, I mentioned that I had to compile chore
charts for all the children. This week, I was half way
through this, when I was interrupted and had to leave them
for another day. Well, these cards have never gotten
finished! Reason being, my sister in law, Tersia, as well
as my niece, Chantelle, have both found work. They both
start on January 2nd! Furthermore, they now have their own
home, and will be moving in on the same day. And so....as
you can imagine, we are all busy with packing and preparing
for their move from our home in the country, to their new
home in Queanbeyan - 60km away! I am so happy for them! I
am happy that they are blessed for everything to have fallen
into place as it has. I am also happy that our family will
have their privacy, their space, their home to themselves
once again.

I have to confess, that there were times during my family's
stay with us that were very testing, and different
situations brought out the worst in me. But.... in the
midst of it all, I called out to God and He heard me. He
heard my cry. He knew in all of it that my heart was fixed
on Him, and He helped me. I determined that each day held
the possibility of betterment in all things; relationships,
attitudes, chores, duties, responsibilities, peace. I
determined to hope. I also determined to have compassion,
show compassion to these new migrants and not to allow my
heart to become bitter. With the Lord's help, I believe
that I have achieved this. My brother and his family will
be leaving my home, and I will do my utmost to continue to
help them, support them, encourage them, love them. To keep
on keeping on, striving to be blameless - especially in my
hour of weakness.

Before my brother arrived I shared with you what we did
within the home in order for their stay with us to run
smoothly. Now that I have experienced life with extended
family, I would like to share with you a few tips that have
actually helped us all.

In the bathroom:

I have tried to keep the bathroom as uncluttered as possible
as many personal items are used here. In our tiny bathroom,
we have no shelves. The windowsill is the only shelf-type
arrangement. This is where we have stored the two families'
toothbrush holders and toothbrushes. We started off using
our own toothpastes. It is far easier to use one tube for
all and store the others. We started off using our own
shampoo and conditioners. It is far easier using one brand
of shampoo and conditioner! By sharing, much clutter is
spared. Only one towel was kept in the bathroom for
hand-wiping. Each family member had their own body and hair
towels, which they removed after use. Personal facial soaps
and cleansers, razors, shaving creams etc were also removed
by each user after use. As many toilet rolls as possible
were stored in the bathroom, as these were used up so fast!
All bathroom supplies were stored in a tiny washstand,
situated in the corridor - just outside the bathroom.

In the Laundry:

Each family member was responsible to take their dirty
washing to the laundry. Instead of separate wash baskets,
we stored our dirty laundry together, in the allocated bins.
Tersia and I would take it in turns to put a wash on. The
children took it in turns to hang it out and bring it in.
Tersia would fold and iron it. 'Smalls' were dried in the
tumble drier. We all packed our washing away in our own
cupboards. This way, no washing - either clean or dirty was
ever hanging around.

There was a bucket of washing powder, as well as a bottle of
fabric softener always at hand in the laundry - ready -
should the need arise to wash something at any time.

An extra set of shampoo, conditioner and soaps were kept in
the shower, which is situated in the laundry. There was no
need to run between bathing areas for supplies.

In the Schoolroom:

This has been a busy room, and I am so grateful we have this
room! Many a craft item, paints, sewing project, book etc
was stored on the benches of the schoolroom. They were left
for two to three days, then, if no progress had been made on
them, we insisted that the project/ accessories were packed
away in the large 28L bins - then stored in the schoolroom
cupboard. The schoolroom was well used and therefore had to
be cleaned regularly. It was very necessary to have
'schoolroom blitzes' on a regular basis.

Plenty of writing paper, envelopes, stamps and stickers were
used, as my children write regularly to pen friends, and my
nieces wrote regularly to family and friends they had left
behind. Drawers were kept stocked with pens and pencils, as
well as other stationary. Much paper was used for the board
games as well. Fortunately, Andre came home with a box full
of paper somebody had thrown away. This has been put to
good use and will never be wasted.

The computer areas have been kept clean and tidy, as all
five children have used the computers, and have known better
than to leave letters, notes and other personal items
hanging around!

In the Loungeroom:

We started off with the chairs arranged around the tv and
video unit - with a lot of room for conversation. The fact
of the matter was that most conversation was held in the
kitchen! Our lounge was only used occasionally. Gary and
Tersia, Andre and I would eat at the dining table in the
loungeroom, while the children ate together at the kitchen
table. The children would play cards, as well as other
games on the lounge carpet. We were able to keep the
loungeroom tidy most of the time.

In the Kitchen:

I have learned that whether your kitchen is large or small,
it is truly the heart of the home and where the family meet.

We would all have breakfast before starting on the kitchen.
All dishes were washed and packed away by mid-morning. We
had no set morning/afternoon tea and meal times. Children
were eating all day! We encouraged each of them to ask and
offer the same to the others, should they make a snack, or
have a piece of fruit or a drink, so that food wouldn't be
left out, or find itself in and out of the fridge and pantry
all day!   The children were instructed to either place
their dishes near the sink, or straight in the dishwasher.
Regular kitchen clean ups were essential, as there were so
many of us using these items. Had the kitchen not been
cleaned several times per day, there would be no utensils or
crockery left for use.

The fridge and pantry were cleaned out on a regular basis -
especially before the weekly grocery shopping.   I must
confess, though, my food organisation principles went right
out of the window, probably due to the fact that so many
people were using, handling, packing and picking at food
each day. Which takes me to.....

Meals and Grocery Shopping

From the very start, Tersia and I sat down together and
worked out what type of food and meals were compatible for
all. We poured through the cookery books, looking for
dinner ideas. Then, when we had accumulated a few, we
organised them into weeks and made up menus. From there, we
made our lists and went grocery shopping. We always did the
shopping together, so that we could learn each other's
further likes and dislikes. Two heads are better than one.
Also, when I am with somebody and we are chatting, I
struggle to stay focussed on what needs to be bought. There
are so many distractions with five children coming and going
and asking "Auntie Helen, must I get some coffee" and "Mom,
how many cartons of milk did you want?" and "Helen, what do
you think of these crispbreads". Ha! I found that although
the lists were nice and organised and just calling for an
encore, with so many questions, I kept losing my place on
the list, and had to go through it time and time again. Not
very methodical, I'm afraid to say!

General Thoughts:

I tried my best to start off as I intended carrying on. ~
if an issue arose, I tried to treat it, deal with it as soon
as possible, before it got out of hand. I tried to let
everybody know what I expected, believe in, how we lived,
what we disliked as soon as possible. This prevented many
an awkward situation arising later. Everybody 'knew'.

I began to realise that I could not change anybody. I saw
areas for help, but couldn't help unless help was required.
I couldn't change people unless they wanted to change. In
our situation - with having older nieces, they were already
'settled' in their own families' ways - whether they
realised it or not. Whether they liked it or not. I had to
come to terms with the fact that their characters had
already been formed.

Seeing as the kitchen proved to be the heartbeat of our busy
family life, I will, from here on, ensure that my kitchen is
fully 'workable'. Also, the more seating arrangements in
the kitchen, the better!

If anything caused arguments or bad feeling, it was removed.
In our situation, all the children are old enough to know
better than to squabble. Therefore, when heated discussions
did occur over material objects, they were removed!

Also on the topic of arguments, (which invariably will and
do occur when families live together), I would call all
those involved and sort out the problem in front of the
participants and Tersia. That way, I was able to bring
things out in the open, sorted and dealt with.

Andre and I found it very necessary to create an 'escape
haven' for our family - to give them privacy and a place to
retreat to when they wanted quiet time. Our bedroom was
that haven. We have a king sized bed - providing room for
all to rest, while listening to music. We bought the
children a variety of CD's - mainly soundtracks - to relax
to. They would take their books, stationary, notepads etc
to the bedroom and lie there for hours in front of the air
conditioner! In the evenings, we would gather and discuss
anything that troubled them. First thing in the morning,
they would gather in our room, frolic and chat before
starting the day. (I suspect that these routines will
become family tradition!)

I have been reading the book of Psalms. They are so
beautiful! I have made them mine. I once read them as
poetry. Now I claim them as my own. Reading my Bible daily
has been a shelter. It has been my strength!

Well, sisters, I hope this information may have helped you
in some way. We have finally finished packing and preparing
for the move tomorrow. All that needs doing tomorrow, is
sorting some food for my brother and his family from our
freezer. We did the dry goods and cleaners earlier this
afternoon. I could see that they were totally astounded, as
they watched me halve my pantry supplies so that we could
share our food with them. It sort of made me quite sad and
emotional, thinking how they must be feeling - so dependent
at this stage. May the Lord forever keep me in a place
where I will be eternally grateful, appreciative and
humble - knowing that any good thing, any great endeavour,
any noteworthy deed is all to His glory, as He purposed it
should be.

May I encourage you to ask, should the need to query or
clarify arise. I would love to hear from you!

May you all be blessed in so many ways this new year!

Love,
Helen