Player Profiles
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| HASSOCKS FALCONS F.C. Player Profiles |
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| Click here for more profiles | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| GOALKEEPERS | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Nick Young: The Falcons first choice keeper. Cat like and voiciferous....never afraid to let his defenders and midfielders know his feelings. His Fine saves have kept us in many a game, despite approaching 40. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Big" Johnny Holmes: Showed great early season promise but recently his Saturday night binges while dressed as a schoolboy have hampered chances. Nevertheless an able deputy to Nick. Should be released from "The Priory" within a month or two | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| DEFENDERS | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Wor" Micky Stephenson: Devout mackem. Once snogged Kevin Kilbane live on national TV. A solid and gritty defender, although better known for his lucky unwashed football "pierre cardin" tanga pants, and cutting one off in his mates pint of Guinness. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Simon Heyes: Another of the clubs northern contingent. Solid and dependable...his keen football mind more than compensating for his ageing legs. Simon sported a perm in the late 80's. and has been a Falcon since the first season | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jon O'Conner: Self styled on Vinnie Jones. Loves the country life.....shooting, poaching and fly fishing have limited Falcons appearances this season. Often seen at games in his Barbour jacket, trout in pocket. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Mark Tharme: Cool, calm defender equipped with an array of one liners. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jeansie: Another unbelievably calm defender. If Paul was any more laid back, he would be horizontal. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Bobby "VanDer" Dhol: A class act. Bob commutes from Belgium where he shares an apartment with one time Tour De France winner, Eddie Mercx. The local chocolates and beer have begin to hamper Bob's chances of ever playing in midfield again | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Matt Hill: A founder Falcon. Tall and rangy with Inspector Gadget legs. Likened to Redknapp and Anderton in many respects.....possibly due to the fact that he has only managed 5 minutes play in the whole of this season, prior to spending a Sunday afternoon in The Royal Sussex Hospital | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| MIDFIELDERS | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Dan Viviani: Undoubtably the club pretty boy. Proud of his Italian heritage, Dan is one of the more dapper and well groomed of the playing staff. Impresses the ladies with his woopy cushion and cuddly snakes - Although his sexuality was questioned when seen cuddled in to the back of a white van in a Brighton backstreet with a man in a pink hat. Dan can play anywhere on the pitch, and chips in with some quality goals. And dives a lot. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Bellini Boyten: Tree hugging Bellini is a midfield dynamo. He works for Greenpeace and is currently involved in a conservation project geared around saving the crested newt. Inspirational on the pitch, although looks a lot like a beefed up version of Richard Dossetter | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dick Dossetter: Soon to leave the UK shores to live in the USA, Doss has been an influential wing wizard in his time at the Falcons. He works on the basis that if he doesn't know in which direction his legs are moving, the opponents certainly arent. Looks like an anorexic Boyten. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Justin Carrick: Manager and headless midfielder, A club member since it was founded in 1997. Carrick was once offered the chance of appearing in a BHS TV advert, although turned the opportunity down before finally finding fame by posing naked in Marie Claire magazine. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Scott Middleton: The Balistic barrell. Scott's portly appearance disguises a usefull burst of pace and ferocious shot. A winger often compared to George Best. Not for footballing reasons though. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Mike Clift: Far to fit for this standard of football. Mike is a tricky winger with a penchant for fast motors and women | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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