She flinched.
The moment I touched her, she flinched beneath my hands and when she took the towel away from her face, she refused to look up at me.
�Kara, what�s with��
�Don�t. Just� don�t Nick.�
That defeated tone of voice again. I hate that.
Shrugging my hands from her thin shoulders, she walked out of the bathroom.
�No, I�m not going to� Why does he treat you like that? Why do you let him treat you that way?�
Kneeling by her suitcase, she didn�t answer beyond shrugging as she looked through her things. Frustrated, I ran my hand through my messed up hair before I took a hesitant step towards her.
�You shouldn�t take that Ka��
�Just go away, Nick.�
I couldn�t read her voice as she stood up and turned towards me. It could have been sad or angry or frustrated, but it struck something inside of me that made me lash out at her.
�Would you rather be with those idiots who don�t have a clue who you are?! Because I can take you back if that�s what you want. You�re gonna have to put up with me or deal with them. Those are your only two options!�
Don�t say you want to leave. Please don�t. That will be the last thing I can take.
Lowering the volume of my voice, I looked away before she could see the tears of frustration shining in my eyes.
�I just figured I was the lesser of the two evils.�
Kara�s eyes were clear of tears as she stared at me with the stony, passive look on her face that she got whenever the others were around.
�I need to get dressed.�
And she just walked by me, shutting the door behind her.
Damn it. I think I just moved closer to being one of the bad guys.
*
Putting on my clothes, I wasn�t expecting Nick to still be in the middle of the bedroom, half-dressed and his hair sticking up on end, when I got done.
But he was.
Sitting on the side of the bed and leaning forward so he could stare at the floor, he propped himself up with his elbows on his knees and his hands fisted in his hair.
I want to kiss him. Just so he�ll look up and smile at me. He hasn�t smiled enough.
He looked up when I entered the room, a pathetic expression on his face.
Why did you have to come back into my life? I don�t want to hurt you any more.
�You said you�d take me to��
Nick nodded, cutting off the rest of my words. He stood from his perch on the side of the bed as I blushed, my eyes traveling over his bare skin as memories of our night together on his tour bus floated lazily through my head.
�Give me five minutes. I�ll meet you downstairs.�
And he walked out, closing the door behind him.
I�m such a bitch.
All he�s trying to do is protect me and I totally blew him off.
It kills me.
*
Beating my head against the closet door helps all sorts of things. It makes me feel like I might actually have control over something. It helps my mind think of something else besides the incredibly destroyed shell of a girl who�s hiding the amazingly wonderful woman that I fell in love with six months ago.
It also gives me a headache.
Sighing, I stopped and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it over my head. Forgoing a belt after changing into my jeans, I took out my sneakers and stuffed my feet into them, trying to fight the frustrated anger that plagued my mind.
As I clambered down the stairs, I nearly fell down the last two steps when I caught a better look at Kara�s choice of clothing for the day.
Don�t push her up against the wall.
Don�t let your hormones control your actions.
There will be no sex in my living room floor.
She had her back towards me, showing off that damned tattoo with those camo pants I bought her in January. The sight of her lower back also proved my suspicions about her loss of weight. Her pants were much lower than they had been that time she tried them on for me; now they barely hung off her hips even though she had a belt on. A thin green tank top stopped about an inch above her navel, giving a clear view of her midriff and her belly button ring when she turned around.
Hearing me stumble down the stairs, she looked at me with her eyes wide in surprise as I just stared at her.
I need to see you smile. This sadness thing doesn�t work unless I know I won�t get slapped for kissing you to make everything better.
*
His hair was still sticking up, that entire bed head thing that made grown women go nuts over him.
And he was staring at me like he�d never seen me before.
�I��
The one letter floated through the air between us; I didn�t have a clue what else was supposed to be attached to it.
Him looking at me being way too much, I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on the living room table and the navy blue baseball cap that sat on top of it. Trying my hardest to ignore the feeling of him staring at me, I walked across the room and grabbed the hat before returning to the other side of the room, stopping in front of him.
The dude is over six feet tall. Damn, I forgot about that.
Standing on my toes wasn�t enough, so he leaned his head towards me without a word, his hands resting on my hips so I didn�t lose my balance and fall into him.
Why does everything feel like it�s going in slow motion?
While running one hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face, I pulled the cap onto his head, concealing the mess of blonde strands he hadn�t bothered to fix.
The fingers of my left hand slipped down the side of his face at their own will, his skin smooth except for the slight blonde stubble that appeared on his jaw from where he hadn�t shaved in a few days.
This almost feels like� last time.
*
Don�t push your luck Carter. You slept with her last night, you pissed her off this morning, and now� this.
Whatever �this� is.
Returning to her feet, I turned my head slightly, pressing my lips against the palm of her hand that still rested on my cheek. When I turned back to meet her eyes, they fell.
Damn it!
�We should go.�
And she pulled away and walked towards the front door.