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I haven�t mastered this entire breathing skill yet.
��you looked like someone I�d like to know� you�re beautiful without even trying� you�re real and that makes you the most beautiful woman I�ve ever seen��
STOP!
I really do not need a tape loop of sweet things Nick had said to me running through my head right now.
My head braced against the brick wall that enclosed the club, I focused on breathing without thinking.
�Are you alright angel?�
Toby�s quiet voice preceded the hand that began to rub my neck.
I�m so pathetic - in love with a man that doesn�t exist, with a dream that won�t ever come true.
And now I have to go write a song.
�Ryan told me what happened earlier.�
�I�m retarded.�
�No you�re not��
I could clearly hear the smile in his voice.
��you�re just madly in love with him and slightly stupid.�
I pulled away, glaring at him through a sheen of tears.
�Oh come on! I�m straight and I think the dude is hot! Forget Ryan. I�d never seen you happier than you were in the A-listers lounge. Just think� you could be fucking him in some posh suite right now, but nooooo. You had to be a good friend.�
I laughed as he finished his mock diatribe, grinning down at me boyishly.
Why don�t we have sparks? Toby�s sweet, definitely cute, smart, has a rocking body� and is just like a brother to me.
�Come on. Let�s go back inside. The show�s almost up and we�re doing merch.�
He hit my shoulder softly.
�Cheer up. You get to see him all leather-clad and �sexual� tonight. And this wise-beyond-her-years woman once told me things that are meant to be will be no matter what obstacles so don�t rush fate. You just happen to be throwing fate a few extra obstacles.�
Breathe Kara. Toby�s right - using an infamous Macintosh quote, but right still. Whatever happens, happens.
So why do I feel like my soul is about to cave in?
*
�Marry me.�
My head should really stop spinning.
I need alcohol. Damned closed bar.
Ryan had gone on to another song, but Kara�s words still rang through my head.
��I had to let you go, or I never would, the sweetness of your kiss was way too much to resist and I need you baby� but I had to let go��
�You might as well enjoy a good thing while it�s going on and so, when it is gone, you can claim that at least you took advantage of it � be happy. I refuse to allow you to feel anything else that isn�t � your answer will determine whether I will fall madly in love with you or not � we�ll find each other again.�
Leaning back against the wall, I let out the breath I�d been holding since I realized it had been Kara I�d knocked down.
She doesn�t want me here.
I�m wasting my time.
Opening my eyes, I heard Ryan announce that he was done playing and his cds would be sold by his bratty little brother and the beautiful red head towards the back.
My beautiful red head.
Hair falling in her eyes while she talked to some random blonde girl, I had to suppress my desire to rush to her side and push her hair behind her ear for her.
I need to touch her.
Everybody keeps talking about her, and I see her across the room, but I need to touch her to make sure she�s really here.
�Alright shortie. Go play Casanova.�
I heard Marcus�s words, but became distracted by the man walking in front of me. He stopped a few steps past me before slowly turning around.
Ryan.
The smile on his face proved he recognized me, even with the cap and glasses.
�If you don�t go talk to her, I�ll kick both your asses.�
Yes sir.
One
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