Avoiding anyone�s eye contact, Kara pulled a folder out of her binder and slipped the pictures into it. From what I saw at a glance, other pictures and pages of typed manuscript filled it to over flowing. Replacing it in her bag, she slid the strap over her head and turned around on the table so she could lean her forehead against the glass to watch the race.
I couldn�t help but think that her eyes had grown confused or maybe sad. The light in them had dimmed somewhat. I wanted to apologize for whatever it had been that made that happen, but the rest of my cohorts soon joined us and I didn�t want to bring it up.
The race started and all my friends began to yell towards the track. Believing they were clearly occupied, I slowly stood from my chair and leaned against the table behind her, wrapping my arms around her so my hands rested on her knees and my chin lay on her shoulder.
�I�m sorry.�
Looking confused, she took her eyes off of the race.
�For what?�
�I�m not really sure. I just feel like I should apologize to you.�
Kara rolled her eyes at me.
�I�m sorry. I have a tendency to become moody at the drop of a hat. You didn�t do anything. Or maybe you�re rubbing off your contemplative mood onto me.�
Kevin started screaming.
�How do you do it?? You picked another winner. Do you have, like, an inside knowledge of what�s going on? Do these horses have more statistics than what are in these books?�
While turning to Kevin, I felt a silent sigh escape her.
�No, I�m just psychic.�
�Well, thank you once again. I�m glad Nick found you. You are definitely amazing.�
All the guys left to discuss the impossibilities of Kara�s predictions; we were alone once more.
Her much smaller hands covered mine as I automatically started nuzzling her neck. I want to remember this smell and how her skin feels so soft forever. She giggled.
�Are you always this friendly to girls you�ve just met after a few hours?�
Pulling my head away from her, I looked up to see her smiling sweetly at me. The sparkle came back to her eyes and I melted.
�What do you mean?�
Amazement crossed her face. The lollipop came out of her mouth, lingering against her lips for a moment before she spoke again.
�I�ve known you for no more than four hours and I swear you�re about to start giving me a hickey.�
�You do realize that you�re killing me with that sucker, don�t you?�
Kara looked at me a little confused.
�Why? Do you want one?�
She began digging in her bag, obviously looking for another one. Abruptly she quit and turned back to me, a look of realization crossing her face when she saw the infamous Carter grin on mine. Her hand flew to her mouth and she began laughing.
�Oh my god. I�m so sorry. I � I do that. That�s just how I eat them. Oh jeez. I�m sorry. I promise I wasn�t doing that on purpose.�
By the blush of embarrassment, I knew this was true and she knew exactly what I was talking about, but I had to taunt her with it a little more.
�How do I know that you�re talking about the same thing that I am?�
�By the look on your face. It definitely wasn�t a �give me one and share� type look. It was more of a �please stop doing that thing with your lips� type look.�
I pretended to be completely unaware of what she spoke of.
�What thing with your lips?�
Blinking rapidly, she looked down at the track before turning her eyes back to me.
�This.�
How the hell she did it, I will never know. Somehow she managed to cloud her eyes over in desire as she slipped the lollipop between her lips. For a moment she sucked on it, before pulling it out painfully slow, never allowing her eyes to leave mine. As an extra touch, she seductively ran the tip of her tongue across her lower lip. My breathing grew heavier just at the sight of her. How could someone turn me on this much with something as innocent as a lollipop?
My head dropped back to her neck.
�Yeah, that�s it.�
That addicting melodic laughter filled my ears as she leaned her head back against me and wrapped one of her arms above her and around my neck. Instinctively I moved closer to her, wrapping one arm around her thin waist, my fingers brushing against her bare skin, and allowing my other hand to run slowly up the back of her arm. I felt her shiver, whether its cause be my touch or my breath on her neck, I�m not sure.
Then that song played again. And I finally recognized it. She had The Calling as her ring tone. I had never been so disappointed to hear that song in my life. A groan escaped both of us.
�Please don�t answer that.�
But she pulled away from me.
�I have to. It might be important.�
Completely dissatisfied, I let go of her and flopped backwards into the chair. Kara grabbed her phone and flipped it open. The moment it touched her ear she had to pull it away due to the high-pitched scream that even I could hear quiet clearly.
�WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?�
Carefully putting the phone back to her ear, she leaned forward probably to see her friends.
�Please don�t scream in my ear. I personally like my hearing.�
Silence covered her end, but she turned around to face me and leaned back against the glass. Staring at me, one of her hands flew up to her mouth as giggles rocked her body. Her voice grew incredulous, occasionally broken by her laughter.
�Why are you watching me Xander? I don�t think he�s your type anyway. I sorta unintentionally seduced him with my lollipop.�
While she spoke to yet another one of her guy friend, I suppose, she�d unthinkingly stuck the sucker back into her mouth. Just before she pulled it out, I caught her eye and playfully glared at her. With wide eyes, she yanked on the stick, pulling it out but leaving the remains of her candy in her mouth. Smiling at me, she tossed the stick into a nearby trashcan, her free arm shooting up in victory when it swished through the opening. God, she was cute.
�Xander� slow down, babe, before you choke yourself. Let me ask him.�
Pulling the phone away from her slightly, she turned to me.
�Xander says that I�m not allowed to have a cute blonde boy hanging off of me unless he gets to have a cute blonde boy hanging off of him. He wants to know if you�re interested because he�s not going to let you get some until he does.�
What?
�By the way, Xander happens to be flamingly homosexual.�
Laughing, I jumped up and leaned across her to look through the window.
�Which one is he?�
She returned the phone to her ear.
�Hey Xander, wave up at Nick.�
The tallest blonde - well, mostly blonde with purple streaks - looked up towards us and waved, his jaw dropping considerably. Kara started laughing immediately.
�Isn�t he though? You know, if I hang up you really can�t do anything about it. Oh yeah, you can call back or we could just go somewhere without the windows near so you don�t have a clue what�s going on. �
I hear there's some bathrooms around here somewhere.
Hanging up the phone, she turned to me.
�Do a lot of gay guys hit on you? You didn�t seem all that surprised.�
�Yeah, well� yeah, I get it sometimes.�
It�s true. I never understood why I tended to have the most gay fans, it just sorta happened. A.J. says it�s my so-called innocence or fake sexuality. My sexuality isn�t fake, is it? Looking at her friend, it appeared he was trying to tell me something, but I�m no good at reading facial expressions or lips. Something about kissing Kara?
�Why did you think Delirium was my favorite?�
�Huh?�
I turned from the window to watch her.
�You said you thought Delirium was my favorite. Why?�
Because she was delirium.
�You seem like her - you know, if she were a real person. You�re, well, for lack of a better word� You�re bouncy. It�s like no matter where you go, you have this never-ending smile on your face that lights up the room. I always figured that, yeah, Delirium was a little off, but she�d be one of those people with so much charisma that you couldn�t deny them anything. That�s you.�
Her nose scrunched up again. God, I adore that.
�Wow. No one has ever told me that before - that I was charismatic. Crazy, yes, but not charismatic. Thank you. I do have to admit that I am a big fan considering she tends to have the more interesting things to say. But Death is it for me. The entire idea of being there when everything begins and ends� it�s just a mesmerizing concept to me. To spend your entire life carrying out the commands of destiny and fate� that would be very cool.�
�So have you fallen madly in love with me yet?�
I meant it as a simple flirty question, but I couldn�t help hoping that her answer would be positive. She glanced at me from the corner of her eye.
�I�m getting there.�
Dude.
I couldn�t help it. I started leaning into her again. Taking one second to look around the room, I noticed Brain walking towards us, not paying attention to what we may or may not have been doing. A groan escaped my throat and I frowned, rolling my eyes toward the ceiling. Why did I have ignorant friends? Kara laughed, covering her mouth with her hand in hopes to muffle it. With her free hand, she reached over and messed with my hair.
Brian looked up as he got closer.
�Hey guys, do you mind if I come hang with you guys for a little bit? The entire debate on statistics versus pure guess is starting to get annoying. I completely trust Kara�s judgment.�
She laughed.
�I don�t know if that�s a very good idea, but I don�t mind you staying over here. Nick?�
Of course I minded! I couldn�t hit on her if my best friend sat right in front of us! How could he not know that? But I understood boredom.
�Sure, you can stay.�
He looked at me curiously.
�You positive? I�m not invading anything?�
While Kara looked away, I nodded my head yes, but said the complete opposite.
�No.�
Laughing, Brian sat down in Kara�s chair.
�I promise not to be here that long.�
�Oh that�s alright. You�re welcome to stick around as long as you want.�
Kara, please don�t say that. Brian will stick around just to piss me off by saying he�s just complying with your wishes.
�So, Kara, tell me about yourself.�
Brian� stop it man. Just go away. Stop smiling at him Kara. It just encourages him to drive me even more insane.
�What do you want to know?�
�Oh, I don�t know. What do you do? Hobbies. Musical preferences - besides The Calling, of course. Um� anything really.�
The melodic laughter.
�You recognized my ring tone?? Nobody can tell that�s The Calling!�
�Of course I recognized it. Nick here has been walking around singing that song nonstop for the past two months. Pretty good song. I like the band.�
Kara looked impressed. Jeez, Brian, now you�re just making me angry. Go away. I couldn�t do anything about it. I was kinda curious about her as well.
�Yeah, well, I like the band, plus I�m a fan of irony, and it�s definitely slightly ironic that every time someone calls me, The Calling plays. Then again, I�m a complete retard.�
They laughed as I watched in wonderment.
�Nah, you�re not retarded. Some people just don�t understand good irony. So� what else is there to know about Kara?�
I smiled as she scrunched her nose in thought.
�Well� I�m a student. Hobbies include� writing, reading trashy entertainment magazines, the Internet� reading, music� actually, anything where I can be creative. Oh! And videogames!�
My head shot over to her. Was she reading my mind?
Brian laughed.
�On behalf of Nick, I must ask you what your favorite game is.�
She turned to me and smiled.
�I only have a PS2, so I haven�t really been exposed to a lot of the games on other systems. Personally, I�m a Final Fantasy girl. Favorite one is nine, but I bet it�ll be replaced by ten as soon as I have the money to buy it and the time to play it.�
My head kept looking from Brian back to Kara. I couldn�t help it; I was absolutely in love with this girl thanks to him. Well, I had a good crush on her ten minutes ago, but now�
�You do realize you�re going to have to put up with me tomorrow?�
Both of them looked at me, Kara in confusion and Brian with a smile on his face.
�I know. I didn�t think she�d be a videogame girl, but I guess I kinda got myself into this one. I�ll deal tomorrow� might have to beat you by the end of the day, but I�ll deal.�
�Did I miss something?�
We both turned to her, me with my eyes wide in amazement - I�d just found my dream girl - and Brian with amusement.
�Don�t worry. I�ll explain in a little bit. Have a little more research to do before it�s a final conclusion.�
Squinting her eyes, she looked up at me.
�Are you testing me again?�
Hey, I�m not asking the questions here! I just haven�t been� stopping the questioning.
�No, we�re not testing you. You just happen to have some very likeable answers.�
Silence came over us as Brian laughed, I stared at Kara while trying to keep myself from picking her up and swinging her around, and she absentmindedly pulled her hair down, scratching the back of her head in confusion.
�Race is starting.�
Well, hello Kevin. A.J. and Howie rushed over as well, with the former stopping in his tracks at the sight of Kara�s hair.
�Wow, I like your hair.�
It was definitely something to behold. She�d had her hair pulled back in a bun, so you barely noticed the blue streaks in it. With it falling down a little past her shoulders, you couldn�t help but see the multiple sections that were dyed an electric shade of blue and, beneath the first layer, the purple streaks underneath.
Kara looked up at A.J., who surprisingly had normal colored hair, and smiled shyly.
�Thanks. My friend Xander did it for me yesterday.�
Which would explain his purple streaks.
�Race has started.�
We all turned around to watch the race. Even I had to pay attention a little. This gnawing feeling had taken hold of my stomach. It didn�t feel like nerves exactly, more like a mixture of regret and hope. How many races would this make it? Eight? Weren�t there ten races?
�Tell me you guys didn�t pick my horse to win?�
Confused, all the guys replied negatively. I didn�t have a clue what they�d done with my bets.
�You said all your predictions were for show, so that�s what we�ve been betting them as. Why?�
��Cause the horse I picked on this one is going to get second place.�
Looking back at the track, her prediction became true a mere fifteen seconds later.
�Whoa� how did you know that?�
Howie�s astonished question mirrored the feelings of all the rest of us. She continued to stare down at the track, blinking rapidly. Her head began shaking slightly.
�I don�t know. I just did. I got a feeling. It happens sometimes. Normally they�re right, so I was just making sure. You know, so you guys wouldn�t hate me for giving you a bad bet.�
A.J. laughed.
�Why would we be mad if your horse lost? We�re the ones choosing to bet on what you say or not.�
�True. But it doesn�t matter. Y�all are smart boys. Congrats on another win.�
Looking up at them, she smiled as they all began to leave - well, besides Brian. Turning away from the glass, she gazed at Brian.
�Back to the interrogation?�
He laughed. Come on man, ask her something else to prove she�s the perfect girl for me. After all the interviews we�ve done, I could think of plenty of questions I wanted to ask her.
�Alright. As long as we�re not crossing any lines or anything. You don�t have to answer anything you don�t want to, obviously. But anyway� you say you write? What?�
Her face lit up. Evidently he�d picked a good question to ask.
�Everything. Mainly poetry during the school year because it�s short and a good way to fight boredom. I attempt to write short stories, but they all manage to stretch themselves out into novellas or into actual books if given the chance. And of course, novels although I�ve yet to finish any. They always become ten times longer than expect. A lot of it is fan fiction. Occasionally song lyrics.�
I felt my jaw drop open. She wrote songs?
�You write songs?�
Turning to me, she smiled, a hint of disappointment in her eyes.
�Lyrics. I have no musical talent whatsoever, but sometimes I can manage to write an incredibly lyrical poem, which I turn into a song. Ryan normally attaches the music to them.�
�I�m more interested in this fan fiction. Whose in it?�
Whoa� I hadn�t even caught that part. Under my gaze, she blushed a dark red.
�Oh jeez� I knew I shouldn�t have mentioned that. Um� The Calling of course. Alex Band is quiet attractive - although not so much as Nick over here. What else? Um� I guess you could say I write about Ryan although he�s not famous yet. Mainly stuff based off of movies and TV shows. My Dark Angel stuff is decent.�
I couldn�t stop smiling at that little comment she�d tossed in there about me. She thought I was attractive? Not cute or hot. Attractive. I liked that adjective.
�Okay, I�m a little lost. Whose Ryan?�
�Oh yeah! You weren�t over here when I was talking about Ryan.�
She waved him over to the window and pointed down.
�It�s a little harder to see him now, since it�s getting dark. Do you see that tall dude with the crazy blonde spiky hair? Oh! He�s looking up here, making faces at us.�
Giggling, she waved down at her friends, who by then were all looking up at us
�That�s Ryan. He�s a musician, plays the guitar, sings, and writes his own music. He�s going out to California at the end of the month to play for record guys. I�m his biggest fan.�
Digging through her bag, she pulled out a CD case while rolling her eyes.
�It would have been so much easier just to show you his CD. But anyway, that�s my Ryan. We write songs together when we have time. I just met him a few months ago, but we got to know each other pretty quickly since I helped promote him and stuff. He�s a real nice guy. Really good singer too... but I am slightly biased.�
Brian handed the CD back to her and she stuffed it back into her bag.
�Well, obviously, between The Calling and Ryan Cabrera, you like pop music. Care to share some other musical preferences?�
Brian, what are you doing? It�s not like you to set people up.
�Sure. I listen to almost anything, mainly rock and pop though. Everclear, Fuel, Godsmack Live, Metallica, Lifehouse� ooh, Our Lady Peace and Better Than Ezra are biggies right now. As for solo stuff� hmm� Craig David is good. Of course Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton. Kylie Minogue is cool. Oh jeez� what was the name of that kid�? Me and my friend Laura went to this radio show earlier this summer, and there was this cute little blonde boy. He was fun. I can�t for the life of me remember his name though.�
No way. She can�t be talking about�
�Did he rap?�
Brian, please� no. She looked at him in surprise.
�Yeah! You know who I�m talking about?�
He nodded. No, Brian, don�t do it.
�Yeah, I think I know who you�re talking about, but I can�t think of his name either.�
He caught my eye and grinned. Thanks man, I think. I can�t believe she�s a fan of my brother!
�Anyway, he�s good. I really should figure out who he is though. Should look into his CD. Oh! And Ewan McGregor! I know he�s an actor, but he�s soooo good.�
Brian laughed again. How come he always knew what Kara was talking about?
�I take it you�re a fan of Moulin Rouge?�
�Definitely! My absolute favorite movie. It�s just so� amazing. I don�t know. I have an entire theory on why it�s the best movie ever made, but we really don�t need to get into that.�
I still can�t believe she likes Aaron. Well, okay, yeah he�s good, but she doesn�t know who I AM!
I felt her swat at my arm, and when I turned, she looked at me curiously.
�Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?�
Because you obviously like my little pipsqueak brother and that bothers me.
�Have you ever heard of Journey?�
Stop laughing at me Brian. It just kinda came out.
�Like the 80s group?�
I nodded.
�Aw jeez� how�d I know you were going to eventually ask that Nick?�
�Of course I have. I grew up on them. They rock! Them and Chicago were my first favorite bands. This was about the same time I had a huge crush on Bryan Adams and wanted to be Paula Abdul.�
I ignored Brian as he laughed at my excitement.
�What�s your favorite song?�
�Of Journey? No question. Open Arms. Close second would be either Faithfully or Anyway You Want It. If you were talking about Chicago, definitely Stay the Night.�
She�s perfect. There is no question about it. I�m so marrying this girl.
�And Bryan Adams?�
Well, okay, Brian knew there was one more question. If she says�
�Heaven. No doubt. That is the quintessential Bryan Adams�s love song. Yeah, most people would say Everything I Do is, but� no way. Heaven is absolutely perfect.�
As are you baby.
I smiled as she started singing Lights under her breath, swinging her legs and bobbing her head to the music in her head.
�Kara, you do realize that you just sealed your fate? You and Nick must get married.�
She stopped and looked up, a little scared.
��Scuse me?�
Why did you have to go and scare her Brian? I don�t want her to think I�m some sort of freak when I�m madly in love with her.
Whoa. Did I really just think that?
�Well, you just named Nick�s two favorite songs that he happens to sing in� all the time.�
Nice save.
�Not to mention the obvious love of video games and comic books - yes, I did overhear a bit of y�all�s earlier conversation. Nick, how did you manage to find her just by looking our the window?�
They both turned to me, but I couldn�t answer. I couldn�t do anything but stare at her. For some reason, I could no longer breathe. Shaking my head, I stopped leaning on the table and ran my fingers through my hair.
�Um� I�ll be back.�
And now I�m walking away. Glancing back, I noticed Kara watching me with apprehension. Please don�t worry about me. I just have to go� figure things out.
�Hey, Nick, where you going?�
I ignored A.J. and kept walking until I left the VIP room. The hallway led to the escalators and a special place for us �important� people to buy our food and stuff. I didn�t know where I was going or if I should even go anywhere without Marcus. A few feet from the door, I slid down the wall and sat with my head in my hands, my unnaturally long legs pulled up to my chin. Don�t cry. Don�t cry. Don�t cry.
What the hell was that Carter? I�d known this girl for a few hours and just because she likes some of the same things that I do, I�m freaking out and thinking I can�t live without her. That is what�s bothering me, right? The feeling that without her my life will never be complete? I was fine yesterday - yeah, a little lonely, but what else can be expected when I�d rather be at home or with my family on Aaron�s tour? Speaking of� was I with Aaron when he came to Texas? No� I think I was recording.
Faithfully kept looping through my head. The perfect song for the situation - a guy talking about being away from the love of his life for too long while on the road but still dedicated to only her. Could I even do that? Dedicate myself to one person while I�m surrounded by the temptation of barely clothed groupies?
Wait a second. I don�t even know how old she is! Has to be twenty-ish, right? Yeah, she was short, really small� but her expressions and the way she talked� has to be my age.
I�m forever yours, faithfully.
Think of some other damn song, Carter.
Oh yes, because All I Have to Give is so much better.
Oh no. I just left Kara in there with the four guys that know me better than anyone else - and weren�t afraid to share. And then there was Marcus. He knew all the bad private stuff that even the guys didn�t know. I had a tendency to forget he was around and start talking to myself.
Oh well. She�s going to disappear soon enough. Let them drive her away.
I didn�t even bother to look up when the door opened and some one came out into the hall. When I felt the presence of someone sliding down the wall next to me, I narrowed down the identity to two people without looking. And then whoever it was leaned up against me.
�You probably don�t care, but you missed the ninth race. You won again.�
My head was still buried in my arms, but I caught a glimpse of her peaking through a hole between my elbow and leg. Her hand began to run over the back of my head, trying to comfort me yet only making me feel worse.
�What�s the matter, Nick? I know we haven�t known each other for longer than half a day, but I have two shoulders you can cry on if you�d like. They�re a little small, but they still work.�
My head shot up and I looked at the wall across from us.
�I don�t cry.�
Her voice sounded a little hurt.
�You don�t cry? That�s crazy. Everyone cries. I cry all the time.�
I looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes right now.
�That�s because you�re a girl. It�s perfectly okay for you to cry.�
Kara frowned at me.
�Nick, you never struck me as one of those testosterone-driven alpha-males. A.J., yes. Maybe even Kevin, but definitely not you.�
For some odd reason what came next didn�t surprise me, and, considering earlier her sympathetic touch had made me feel worse, I surprised myself by not stopping her.
Pulling herself up to her knees, she reached over and hugged me, her arms around my neck, pulling my head to her chest. I buried my face deeper, not because it happened to be her breasts against my face - trust me, it wasn�t. - but because I felt that maybe things weren�t so bad after all and she knew that. I straightened my legs out in front of me and wrapped both of my arms around her waist, pulling her to me as she rested her head against mine. Yeah, maybe a tear or two escaped, but really I just wanted to remember this feeling of comfort and reassurance for the long nights on our upcoming tours and press junkets. And, yeah, maybe she doesn�t love me, but it sure as hell feels like it right now and that feels pretty damn good.
Her phone started ringing.
And ringing.
�Aren�t you going to get that?�
�No.�
�But it might be important.�
She paused. Her phone still rang.
�This is important.�
I held onto her tighter, unaware that I might be squeezing her a little too hard. She thought I was important. That made me feel even better.
Before I pulled away, she planted a tiny kiss on the top of my head. I quickly brushed my hands over my face in case water happened to escape my eyes.
�You�re the mom of your group aren�t you?�
Kara smiled while sitting back down.
�Yeah, sometimes. More than not I�m the little sister that gets teased, but sometimes my guys need someone to come to when things aren�t so good. I�m pretty good at both roles.�
You�d be pretty good in the role of my girlfriend, too.
�Yeah, yeah you are.�
Finally letting the lung full of air out that I�d been holding for what seemed like hours, I reached over and brushed a strand of hair from her face, letting my fingers brush against her cheek.
�Thank you.�
Smiling at me, she stood up, holding her hands out to me. I accepted the help as I pulled myself from the floor. Standing, so close to her, I felt my heart skip a beat.
Stop it. This is going to end.
�This will be our secret.�
I smiled. I hadn�t even thought of her telling anyone about� this, whatever it was, but I was still relieved. Nodding I let her lead me back into the lounge area, her digging her phone out of her bag, me just wanting to have stayed in the hall forever.
�Hey Nick, you okay? I didn�t mean to��
I waved Brian�s apology away.
�Don�t worry about it. I made it into something much bigger. I�m okay.�
�I know I�m nine for nine, but I really don�t want to pick one for the tenth race. I�m not in the right frame of mind to do that� No, nothing�s wrong. I just� I�m fine. Don�t worry about it.�
Kara groaned into her phone.
�Alright, alright. Give me a second.�
Oh no. I�d messed something up. I broke her. Finding her betting sheet, she glanced over at me, sitting next to Brian. She was still worried about me.
�Five. Call it a premonition. I don�t have to give you reasons. Put Ryan on the phone.�
The five of us shared looks with each other. Her voice sounded angry, but grew softer when Ryan came on the line.
�Hey Ry. Just wanted to wish you luck on your show tonight. Yeah, I wish I could see it, but� I�ll be at the one tomorrow. Break a leg. No, not literally. That�s something I would do.�
She smiled at her feet, pacing slightly as she talked to her friend.
�Hey, can you do me a favor? Make sure you sing �In My Life� for me. I know� I just wanted to make sure. No, I�m fine. It�s just� I�m fine.�
Her voice broke and she immediately looked up at all of us looking at her. Turning on her heels, she quickly walked towards the other side of the room.
�What did you say to her Nick?�
I turned to Howie. He didn�t accuse me of anything, but due to my loss of what to say, it made me angry and defensive.
�I didn�t say anything. I don�t know� what� I��
Stammering always makes you sound less like a jerk.
The guys stood around studying the last race until Kevin looked up and behind me.
�Let�s go make our bets, guys.�
Everyone looked to him and then agreed. Kara must be walking back over here. Brian stuck a hand in front of my face.
�Give me some money and I�ll go bet for you.�
I dug a bill out of my pocket - for what amount, I don�t know - and sat staring out the window as they walked away. The chair next to me slid against mine.
�Told you I cry all the time. For no reason mostly.�
When I turned to her, she focused on pushing on the bottom of her eyelids, as if to fix her contacts. I started to apologize, but she waved me away.
�Don�t. It�s my fault. My tendency to get emotionally wrapped up in things that are not my business gets me into trouble a lot.�
If she only knew how much her business this could be.
�Not to mention my friends can be very insensitive nosey jerks at times. But it�s okay. I love them still.�
Kara reached over, grabbing one of my hands, and laced her fingers through mine.
�You sure you�re okay?�
I smiled to myself.
�Favorite pizza topping.�
She thinks I�m nuts.
�Come again?�
Say what? That was a new one.
�What do you eat on your pizza?�
�You didn�t answer my question, but if you must know, double cheese, extra sauce, preferably stuff crust if available.�
Not only was I now hungry, but somehow creepily relaxed.
�You do realize that you�re a female version of me, don�t you?�
Melodic laughter times ten.
�I strongly doubt it.�
�Why do you say that?�
�Physically-wise, we could be no more different. You and your tall blonde-ness, me and my brunette short-ness. You dressed like a Mr. GQ for the teenage set, and I�m definitely the tomboyish girl-next-door. So maybe we could go get pizza and listen to some music, but it doesn�t mean we�re the same person. It just gives us a reason to spend time together and see if our differences are compatible.�
I gawked at her. How could she become so philosophical at a second�s moment and I didn�t see it coming? She laughed.
�With the right questions I could easily disprove your theory.�
Pause. An evil grin on her part.
�What�s your favorite musical? Classical composure? Do you think Europop is better than American? What�s your opinion on Eminem? Your favorite book? Who was your childhood idol? Who�s your idol now? And we probably won�t have the same celebrity crush� or at least let�s hope not.�
Whoa.
I couldn�t even logically answer half of those questions. Europop? Like the Spice Girls and Five and shit like that?
She grinned triumphantly.
�I�ve baffled you, haven�t I?�
A man must admit defeat.
�Okay, okay. So maybe you�re right. We aren�t the same person. That doesn�t mean we aren�t perfect for each other.�
Kara�s facial expression melted into doe-eyed innocence. Did I even really mean to say that out loud?
�Time will tell.�
It came out in a voice barely above a whisper. So hope existed after all.
Brian came over and handed Kara my betting slip as, much to my disappointment, she let go of my hand.
�You okay, kid?�
I could tell she was silently laughing.
�Yes, I�m fine, but �kid�? I realize I look like I�m twelve, but no one has called me that in a long time.�
While she pulled her hair back into another bun, Brian glanced over at me. In response, my shoulders shrugged and I gave him a small uncertain smile.
�Hey Brian?�
He turned his gaze back to Kara.
�Hmm?�
�Can you make sure Nicky gets exposed to some classical music? Preferably Chopin? �Rhapsody in Blue�? He looked a little scared when I mentioned it, but I think he might actually like some pieces. If all else fails, make him rent Fantasia and Fantasia 2000. Ohhh, and Moulin Rouge. I can not talk to people who haven�t seen it, and obviously, he hasn�t.�
Brian cracked up.
�I don�t think we could make him sit still for that long, especially without anything blowing up.�
�Hey! I could sit still long enough. Plus there�s always the pause button.�
Kara�s frame shook with overwhelming laughter. Standing up, she leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek.
�You are too cute Nicky.�
Grabbing her water bottle from the table, she motioned for Brian to take the chair she�d been sitting in before jumping up on the edge of the table.
�She�s called you �Nicky� twice in the past five minutes. Are you really going to let her get away with that?�
I looked over to Brian, who�d accepted the seat. She had, hadn�t she?
�Why? Does he not like when people call him that?�
Don�t tell her!
�That�s what his mom calls him when she feels like embarrassing him in front of people.�
I groaned. I didn�t see it coming until it was too late. Brian began pinching my cheeks and, taking up the voice he used to do a dead-on imitation of my mom, started making fun of me.
�Ooohh Nicky. I remember when he was this big and he�d run around in nothing but a diaper while singing to anyone who�d listen. And one time, he��
I started swatting at him, pretty sure he was about to go into one of the many �when Nicky decided he dislike clothes� stories my mom had told the guys many, many times. I was THREE!
�Stop man!�
Before I knew it, the two of us found ourselves in the floor, wrestling around.
�Children! Children! Stop it before you kill each other.�
Maybe Kara wasn�t so convincing as a mom after all. Well, at least when she couldn�t stop laughing she wasn�t. Her laughter began all over again when I felt A.J. jump on top of me, elbowing me in the back.
What a sight we must have been. Three grown men wrestling in the middle of a bunch of well-dressed businessmen and local celebrities. Aren�t we mature?
�Boys! Don�t make me have to separate you three!�
And here�s Kevin to ruin all the fun again.
�We�re sorry Dad.�
It couldn�t have been more perfect, all three of us separating in an instant before speaking the same three words in unison. We�ve done this far too many times. And of course, Kevin didn�t miss a beat.
�Well, y�all should be. What are you thinking, making such a ruckus in such a nice place as this?�
Our little show ended as Kara fell off the table, laughing so hard that her face turned bright pink and tears fell from her eyes. When she tried to speak, it came out in gasps.
�Ruckus? I didn�t realize real people still used that word.�
Kevin looked at her, then at the three of us in mock disbelief.
�She�s making fun of me.�
Catching her breath, she sat up in the floor.
�I�m sorry. It�s just� I�ve lived in Texas my entire life and have never heard any one use that word. I�ve heard some really weird things, but never �ruckus�. Must be a Kentucky thing.�
She�d said it almost as an afterthought as she pulled herself from the floor, but six pairs of eyes, mine included, landed on her. All this time, she�d known! When she looked up, she panicked.
�What? People don�t know you�re from Kentucky? If so, you might not want to wear a shirt with the KSU emblem on it; you�re accent is bad enough.�
A collective sigh of relief left our little congregation - he was, in fact, wearing a KSU polo shirt - but I was left slightly disappointed. Why? Did I want her to know that I was some world famous pop star?
�Oh! That! You� you just shocked us. Started to take that psychic thing seriously.�
Sure Kevin. That�s believable. Kara bought it though and smiled.
�Well, I�m not that good, but maybe this last race will prove you right.�
Turning away from us, she climbed back on the table and sat to watch the horses enter the gates. Our jovial moods dampened by the possibility that she�d known who we were, so we quietly moved up against the glass wall and watched as well. Brian stood between me and Kara, shooting looks alternately between the two of us.
�And they�re off��
A short race. The last one happened to be the shortest race of them all, and despite her unpleasantness while predicting the winner, Kara�s choice came in first.
�And the young lady has done it again.�
I turned in time to see Brian wrap his arms around her and give her a big kiss on the cheek. Hugging him back the best she could with her arms pinned to her side, she saw me watching them. A whispered exchange between them and then Brian left. I liked how Kara got along with my group mates, but what I�d just seen felt a little unnerving.
Closing the space between us, I pulled myself onto the edge of the table.
�Fireworks.�
Huh? Had that been what they�d talked about? A raised eyebrow conveyed my confusion and she smiled softly.
�Now they set off the fireworks. Well, not right now, but in maybe half an hour.�
She looked at the glass and frowned. No. No. No. Stay up here with me, please.
�Fireworks suck if you watch them from inside.�
No no no no no. Don�t end this now. I haven�t even gotten to kiss you. I felt my face tighten as my panicked sadness blatantly showed on my face.
�I think I�m going to go back down to the seats.�
�But� I� no.�
Intelligent.
She looked back up to me with her face completely blank. I wish I could do that; life would be so much easier if I could pretend to feel nothing. She had to be pretending, didn�t she? She had to be feeling something, didn�t she?
Jumping from her perch, she frowned at something across the room and turned back to me.
�Damn it. They said no.�
I don�t think she�d meant for me to hear because the moment the words left her lips, she turned back up to me with that same blank face.
�Come down there with me.�
No no n� what?
�Down there?�
I would win a Pulitzer if I wrote these deep thoughts down. How dare I devoid the world of such knowledge.
�Yeah. Ryan left for his show, so there�s an extra seat for you.�
I stared at her. Of course I would. Then I looked down at the increasing crowd of people in the general admissions area - a place you had to cross through to get to said seats. Kevin would never let me go without Marcus. Marcus would never let me go, period.
�Please?�
Without saying a word, I stood, grabbed Kara�s hand, and began to walk towards the guys. Of course I was going. I�m stubborn, so I�ll get my way. Even if they say no, I�m twenty-two goddamn years old. I can do whatever the hell I please.
Here we go with the unconvincing pep talks again.
�Kevin, I�m going to go outside with Kara and her friends to watch the fireworks. I�ll meet you guys back up here afterwards.�
See Carter? You just walk up to �em and tell them what you�re going to do as if they couldn�t stop you even if they tried.
And now you walk away. Which I did, poor Kara in tow. Well, until Kevin grabbed my shirt and pulled me back.
�No, you�re not.�
Damn it. You�re not supposed to stop me. I didn�t have a brilliant idea for this part.
�Why not Kevin? This is the first time since we started this tou��
Brian caught a quick look at Kara.
��since we left home that Nick has had the opportunity to spend time with people his own age. Let him go.�
Even though it made me sound like I was some antisocial adolescent, Brian�s argument made me happy that at least someone felt I should have some fun.
�Brian, have you seen how many people are down there?�
�Yes, but I also know that it is dark out there. No one is going to see him. Not to mention she�s not in that crowd. They have seats behind all those people.�
�Plus she�s got some guy friends with her. Nick will blend right in with them.�
Thank you A.J. Might as well throw some thoughts of my own in there. I lowered my voice, hoping Kara wouldn�t hear what I said.
�I�m not going to do anything to cause a scene. I�m going to go down there, head down, staring at the pavement. No one is going to recognize me. Afterwards, if you want, I�ll stick around outside until most everyone has left and meet back up with you then. Please Kevin��
He sighed. He could never take it when we all ganged up on him, especially if I acted reasonable.
�I just wish you had a hat or something. I don�t want a riot to go out.�
Kara took her hand from mine and dug in her bag.
�I�m not sure why a riot would turn out, but if he needs a magic cap of invisibility to leave with me, I�ll gladly loan him mine.�
She pulled out a black baseball cap with a green K scrawled on the front. Multiple signatures covered the bill, top and bottom. Looking back at me, she stood on her tiptoes and sat it on my head.
�See? Now he looks like one of my baseball players.�
I took the cap off, readjusted it to fit my head, and pulled it back on, low over my eyes. Turning back to Kevin, I held my hands out as if to say �see?�
�Please?�
Letting out a deep breath, he waved me away.
�Go. Wait until it clears out a bit before you come back inside. Just try and blend in with her friends.�
I nodded emphatically before crushing him in an excited hug.
�Thank you.�
Playfully, he pushed me away and then pointed at Kara.
�Stay with the girl. She�s lucky. Maybe she�ll be able to keep you out of trouble.�
Smiling, she responded while I grinned at her with pleasure.
�I�ll do my best.�
Not wanting to stick around, I pulled the cap down a little lower, grabbed Kara�s hand, and rushed towards the door. Once we reached the empty hallway, I realized that we weren�t going to be pulled back with demands of Marcus accompanying us, so I slowed down. While we headed down the escalator, I turned to her expectantly for the questions that would come. Would she still like me once she knew?
Shaking her head, she didn�t meet my eyes.
�I�m not going to ask. Obviously if you�re that important, I probably should already know.�
I squeezed her hand impulsively. She was the greatest woman in the world. I�m going to kidnap her and stow her away on my tour bus. I grinned at the idea as she pulled me towards the doors that separated the building into two complexes. Keeping my head low, I allowed her to guide me through the crowd, one hand grasped tightly in hers and the other planted firmly on her hip.
�Don�t lose me.�
Didn�t plan on it in a million years, Kara.
Three