After two weeks of lying in bed, barely moving or eating, Leslie�s doctor proclaimed her well enough to begin her sophomore year in high school. Her mother�s desperate questions went unanswered, as Leslie had finally found the will to remain silent. Her emotions had gone numb. Not hearing of Nick�s condition had quickly made the knowing maggots of her regret and fear eat at her insides until the pain within her outweighed the outer. And then she went numb completely.
School arrived as a new challenge. She would go, simply to remove herself from her mother�s fake cheeriness that quickly turned to angry sadness at Leslie�s silence. So, ignoring anyone who might enter her room, she recovered in bed, an enlarged picture of Nick and Brian during much brighter times taunting her from the ceiling directly above, their voices piped softly through her stereo. She was going to make herself insane.
�Call Kevin. You need to talk to him. A.J. Nick. You�re going to drive yourself mad�
Brian�s advice remained the same. Turn to Nick. You need Nick. Call Nick. Talk to Kevin about Nick. Every night she fell asleep and met Brian�s voice, which always said the same thing. Find Nick.
He refused to give news about Nick�s condition or even his whereabouts. Or if he were searching for her. So she remained clueless, falling in and out of consciousness, refusing to give into her desire to reach out for Nick. No use giving the poor boy false hope.
And tomorrow. Tomorrow brought a 7:00 a.m. wake up call and the first day of yet another year in her schooling. It�d be no different than the ten others that came before. Besides the questioning looks from people curious about the nature of torture that caused her fading bruises and cuts. And the cast on her left hand. And the broken ribs. And the limp due to the stitches in the soles of her feet and her splinted ankles. Tomorrow was going to be hell - just like every other day of her school career.
�I need Nick�
*~*
Nick hated his bedroom. It was so� bright and carefree. The only good thing about it remained his bed. King sized and soft, it faced the doors to his balcony that overlooked the ocean.
His injuries were healing quickly. The swelling in his face had lessened by the time he�d finished his five day stay at the hospital, and now he just looked like a battered hockey player after the Stanley Cup playoffs rather than a breathing corpse. His ribs still gave him pain, but he could move around slowly with only mild discomfort. The only real problem came from the gash in his head before they put in the twenty-eight stitches that held his scalp together. Because of it, Nick saw his doctor every few days to make sure his brains weren�t leaking out all over his bed.
Florida was warm and sticky in August - it was August, wasn�t it? His sense of time had disappeared. He only ate because A.J. or Kevin would bring him food. He slept when his eyes closed of their own merit, not caring if it were day or night.
Every time Kevin walked in, Nick stared him down, begging with his eyes for some good news. And every day Kevin shook his head and said, �She hasn�t called.�
Brian refused to help him anymore, claiming it wouldn�t be fair to give him more help than he already had. Despite his conscious pleas, Brian managed to change the subject, and now his dreamtime visits were few and far between.
So he spent his time lying in bed, listening to the sounds of the ocean, and hating his room, his life, everyone, and everything.
�I need Angel�
*~*
A.J. paced the floor of Nick�s living room. Since their return to Florida the week before, he�d lived in Nick�s house as an on-call nurse every hour of every day. Like Nick�s, his injuries had faded minus a few remaining scratches on his back. He had deserved it all. More than what he�d received, really. So he took care of Nick, whose physical condition improved enormously with each day, but whose emotional disposition continued to plummet.
And to think, he had the means to make Nick better. One flight to Texas and he would bring her back. But he couldn�t. He wasn�t even able to pick up the phone and call her. The moment the line began to ring, he slammed the receiver back down.
But today was different. Nick hadn�t said a word since he�d gotten released from the hospital ten days ago. It didn�t ease any of A.J.�s worries when the doctor had come by this morning before his office hours, claiming that Nick would be fully healed within a week besides a festering cut, but that his mental state suggested extreme depression, if not completely suicidal.
And so A.J. stayed. So Nick couldn�t kill himself.
He needed Angel�s help. They both did.
Reaching up to hold his necklace that hid safely beneath his shirt, he felt calmed. Kevin had gone back to his apartment to rest. Nick lay comatose upstairs. A.J. picked up the phone. Quickly dialing the eleven numbers, he gripped the phone tightly, refusing to give into the urge to slam it back down.
It rang. And rang. Then a machine picked up with a prerecorded computerized voice.
Pacing the floor, A.J. nervously awaited the beep to signal him to begin talking.
*Beep*
�Um�� He cleared his throat. �Angel, this is A.J. Um� I know it�s been awhile, but I� I�ve been taking care of him. He�s doing a lot better� physically anyway. He�s falling apart. He needs you, Angel. I� I need you. Uh� I�d give you a way to contact me, but I�m living at Nick�s house and, well� obviously you wouldn�t want� I�ll just call you back some time.�
Dropping the phone, he fell on to the couch, hoping that by some divine force of nature she�d get his message and understand it. She couldn�t still be in the hospital, could she?
Rubbing at his sleep deprived eyes, he headed towards the stairs to check up on Nick.
*~*
She�d been climbing down the stairs to wait for Albert to pick her up for school when she heard the answering machine pick up. Believing she was delusional from not sleeping in the past forty-eight hours, it took Leslie a moment to recognize A.J.�s voice, standing still to listen carefully to the tired, raspy message.
When the machine cut off, the doorbell rang, soon followed by a knock on the door. Her mother instantly appeared from her room to answer, revealing Leslie�s friend. As Albert stepped into the entryway, her mother turned to call her down. The name caught in her throat when she saw Leslie standing halfway up the stairs, eyes half closed, hair falling into her face.
Taking a deep breath, Leslie continued her descent, ignoring the hand Albert offered to her and allowed A.J.�s message to loop through her head.
�He�s doing a lot better� physically anyway. He�s falling apart. He needs you Angel�
In this daze, she walked slowly out of her house, not even bothering to acknowledge her mother as she passed.
�I�ll keep an eye on her, Mrs. Flynn,� Albert said, trying to comfort the distraught mother of his closest friend. Following Leslie�s trek to his truck, he watched as she pulled herself up, one handedly, into her seat.
�What the hell is this doctor thinking? She�s not ready for this,� he muttered to himself, walking to the other side and getting in.
*~*
First period ended and Albert rushed into her classroom to collect her. What subject she�d just gotten through ignoring, Leslie wasn�t sure. She just remembered trying to keep her eyes open while thinking about A.J.�s message. Brian really did give him her phone number. And he was living in Nick�s house� meaning Nick had access to her.
Ignoring the uneasy looks and hushed whispers that surrounded them, Albert led her into the hallway and towards her next nameless class. Staring straight ahead, she ignored the gasps that came due to her bandages and stitches.
�Leslie!�
She heard her name being called loudly from somewhere behind her. The name �Zach� popped into her head followed by an image of someone she�d cared about once before. Her chest constricted and she stopped, her head screaming in warning. Albert looked down at his silent friend and then turned to look behind them.
�Zach, dude, be care��
Hands enveloped Leslie�s ribcage, pulling her a few inches from the ground. A scream echoed down the hall - did it come from her mouth? - as excruciating pain shot through every fiber of her body, stemming from her freshly re-cracked ribs.
Quickly Leslie was returned to her feet, panicked voices apologizing and yelling around her that she could no longer hear. The pain flowed down her legs, forcing her knees to give out. Falling into a lifeless mound of flesh on the cool tile floor, Leslie�s painful exhaustion and desire to lose consciousness engulfed her until she went freely into the darkness.
*~*
Albert fell to his knees beside Leslie�s body as he watched her eyes slowly flutter shut. Grabbing her wrist, he found her pulse easily as it raced at twice its normal speed.
�Oh my god! What did I do?� Zach yelled at himself.
No one had known. The common knowledge of Leslie�s friends had ceased at her random disappearance and sudden arrival back home. Albert had been the only one to know of her hospital stay or the pitiful state she�d returned in.
So of course Zach wouldn�t have realized that his typical entrance of sneaking up behind her and grabbing her around the waist, tickling the sensitive flesh of her ribs, would have landed her in the ER.
Gently, Albert took her shoulder and rolled her onto her back, sighing at the sight of the already swollen temple caused by her fall against the concrete floor. He heard Zach gasp when he saw the pale lifeless face beneath the shadows of bruises once disfiguring.
�Call an ambulance.�
Everyone would know about this hospital stay.
*~*
The doctors claimed that shock caused Leslie to remain unconscious for over two days, but she knew better. She just didn�t want to be awake. Now, the sunlight shining much too brightly, she opened her eyes to a familiar room of pristine cleanliness.
�I see you�ve decided to join the waking world again, Miss Flynn.�
Groaning inwardly, Leslie looked towards the door to see the chauvinistic Dr. Ryan standing over her.
�I�m so glad you decided to attempt the first day of school. Your mom told me you haven�t been getting out much lately, which I can tell is the truth. You are much too pale. Plus I was beginning to miss your bright shining face.�
He kept the inane one-sided conversation going as he checked her heartbeat and the condition of her ribs. Pressing harder than necessary, she winced. Dr. Ryan grinned.
�Yep, figured you broke them all over again. Guess you and I will be spending some more quality time together.�
Wasn�t this malpractice?
*~*
�Dude, get your lazy ass out of bed and do something. Moping around and feeling sorry for yourself won�t get you anywhere.�
�I want to die.�
�No you don�t.�
���
�You know you�d never go through with it. You�re too hopeful that Leslie is going to waltz back into your life. You can�t even imagine leaving the world without seeing her again. Or kissing her.�
�I�m never going to find her.�
�Every time you fall asleep you dream about her. Seeing her. Talking to her. �Touching her.�
���
�Man, Nick, I can talk to you whenever you fall asleep. Do you really think I can�t see what you dream about? Disturbing as I may find it.�
�Leave me alone.�
�Find her Nick. I told you how. Try harder. Stop spending your time blaming yourself and reliving it all. You can�t change the past.�
�You didn�t tell me how! You started babbling about A.J.�s wallet.�
�Get your fat white ass out of that bed Carter. You�re running out of time.�
*~*
Nick groaned at the sunlight, his head throbbing with each beat of his heart. What the hell had Brian been talking about? The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Dr. Phillips coming into his bedroom, forcing him to sit up, and taking the bandages off his skull.
�Mr. Carter, you�re healing nicely. Any time you feel like it, you can start moving around, testing out how much your body can handle. Actually, it�d do you good to get some exercise, but be careful with your ribs and your head. If you have any vertigo or spotting in your vision, have A.J. bring you in,� he�d told Nick earlier that morning.
Sitting up slowly, Nick let Brian�s words run over him. How was he running out of time?
�Hey man, you�re awake. Do you need me to get you anything?� A.J. had rushed to his side the moment he�d begun to move, his voice raspier than usual from lack of sleep. �Hungry? Is your head hurting you?�
Nick shook his head slowly, turned, and then stood up, allowing A.J. to help him keep his balance at first.
�I�m going to take a shower.�
The sound of his voice startled both men. Nick had surprised himself, considering he�d begun to wonder if his vocal cords would even work anymore.
Running his hand over the back of his head, he studied A.J., who tried to suppress a yawn under the younger man�s gaze.
�Get some sleep. I�m fine. The doctor said so,� Nick whispered gruffly, his throat hurting from the humid summer air and lack of use.
A.J. nodded and left the room as Nick walked carefully to his bathroom, carefully removing his athletic shorts - the only article of clothing he�d worn since returning home - in the process. Turning the water on cold, he stepped in, letting his head spin with plotting ideas and increasing emotions of hopeful despair.
*~*
�Landed yourself back in the hospital, I see.�
�You make it sound like I did this on purpose.�
�No, but you didn�t try to stop it. You�ve always hated school. So did Nick.�
�Ah yes, every topic turns to him doesn�t it?�
�Of course. Have you decided to talk to him yet?�
���
�Jeez, woman. Are you trying to drive the two of you to insanity?�
�You really did give A.J. my phone number.�
���
�He called my house this morning.�
�And��
�I didn�t talk to him. The machine picked up. He�s staying with Nick.�
Laughter
�So close yet so far away. Nick has always been a little dense.�
�No he�s not. He�s upset. He just lost his best friend; of course, he�s not picking up on your cryptic clues.�
�Leslie, sweetie, he misses you way more than he misses me.�
�That�s not true.�
�Yeah it is. He knows I�m not coming back� and he can still talk to me. With you, it�s the complete opposite. Well, for now anyway.�
���
���
���
�Whatcha thinking about?�
�I should have just gotten in that damned shower with him.�
Laughter
�What?�
�After all this time, that�s what�s going through your head?�
�Well, it makes sense doesn�t it? None of this would have happened if I�d just gotten in there with him. It�s not like I hadn�t fantasized about something like that with him before. Countless times. Stupid fuckin� morals.�
�Babe, god, way too much information.�
�Sorry��
�Plus, aren�t you a little young to be having sexual fantasies about� well, Nick?�
�Shut up.�
Pause
�If you miss him so much, why stay away? As much as I�d rather not think of the two of you like that��
�I can�t handle getting him hurt again.�
�You�re hurting him right now.�
�Don�t say that. Please, don�t say that.�
�But it�s true.�
���
�Oh well, he�s gonna find you soon anyway. Just promise me when he does that you�ll stop listening to your head. It just keeps getting you into more pain. Start doing what feels right.�
���
�Promise me, Leslie. If he shows up out of nowhere and it feels right to slam the door in his face and leave, then do it. But don�t do it because you think it�s right. Feel, don�t think.�
�� I promise.�
�Good. Now get some rest. You�ve got a dumbass doctor to deal with.�